When Curves Were Straight
by Shadowfax27
Summary: EricRyan SLASH! Sequel to “Walking The Twisted Line.” Eric finally learns how Ryan met Speed. Reactions from the team affect Ryan in ways he did not expect. Inspired in part by lyrics in “Mi Chico Latino” by Gerri Halliwell. CH.13 UP! FIC NOW COMPLETE!
1. Of Secrets & Dreams

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 1 of ?**

**Author(s): **Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601 (eventually)

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan SLASH

**Genre: **Drama/Angst/Romance

**Chapter Rating: **PG-13, eventually R (As usual the NC-17/M rating will be posted on my website. I will let you know when I have posted those chapters.)

**Disclaimer: **We no own. You no sue us. Okay?

**Summary:** Eric/Ryan SLASH! **Sequel to "Walking The Twisted Line."** WIP, but Eric finally learns how Ryan met Speed. Reactions from the team affect Ryan in ways he did not expect. Inspired in part by the lyrics in "Mi Chico Latino" by Gerri Halliwell and Abendstern1601's Ryan/Eric fanvid.

**Cross Beta-ed By: **Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601

**A/N: **This fic will be a joint effort between Abendstern1601 and me. I had the plot sitting in my head for the longest time, but I figured it would be cool to co-author a fic with someone who could write good fluff and smut! Heh-heh! I will be writing most of the chapters to set up the main plot (and hopefully one of the smut), and then my partner in crime will write the others.

_**If you haven't read 'Walking The Twisted Line," I highly recommend that you do so to understand the whole premise of this sequel.**_

_**Chapter 1 was written by Shadowfax27.**_

_**This is dedicated to:** CSIM Fan, Roses, Zuza, Prue, Angel32, Prinsessa, Dark Angel's Blue Fire, and csiwolfe08. Thanks for the fav and kind reviews. We hope you guys enjoy the fruits of our labor!_

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Chapter 1 – Of Secrets And Dreams

_Donde esta el hombre (Where is the man)  
Con fuego en la sangre? (With fire in the blood?)_

_I've got a secret I cannot keep it  
It's just a whisper of a distant memory  
Just a dream, Or so it seems  
Take me back to the place I'd rather be… _

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It had been a couple of days since Eric had last seen or spoken to Ryan at his home. The young man had had the last two days off since his 'freezing' incident at the chop shop, and Eric wouldn't be surprised at all if Horatio had had something to do with it, forcing the ex-patrol officer to take some time off to regroup, before the incident caught up with him and possibly affected his work.

And although he was grateful for Horatio's concern over their youngest CSI, Eric couldn't help but curse inwardly because giving Ryan the last two days off meant that he couldn't see him or talk to him about all the things he'd been dying to know, particularly, Ryan's 'secret' friendship with Speed.

Not that he couldn't have called him on the phone himself or stopped by his home unannounced again… But as stubborn as he was, he knew that Ryan was even more stubborn, and he would've kicked him out of his home in a heartbeat (or hung up the phone on him), especially if he were to discover the real purpose behind Eric's phone call or visit.

He sighed heavily, thinking that despite the fact that he had been anxious to talk to him, he realized that Ryan needed that quiet time alone to himself. At any rate, having not seen his co-worker the last two days did give him some time to think about how to approach him regarding the subject that had been burning in his mind ever since he made that discovery in Horatio's office and then in Ryan's home just two days ago.

He only hoped that when the younger man did finally return to work that morning, that he would have recuperated enough and that he would be in a better disposition to talk.

He walked down to Alexx's lair, down to the morgue, where he knew she was currently examining the body of a one and half-year old boy, found buried near the edge of the Everglades by a couple of punk teenagers, who were trying to see if they could catch an alligator and shoot it down with their BB guns, which were mere scale replicas of actual guns and used 6mm plastic BB gun pellets for ammunition.

Really… Shoot down a friggin' alligator with BB guns?

Eric shook his head at how stupid teenagers could be sometimes. The idea was just preposterous, plain and simple. And any half-wit with a brain should've known that one simply did not go about tempting fate by taunting alligators, much less in their natural habitat…and with BB guns, no less.

"_Stupid kids…"_ Eric half thought, half muttered to himself.

He reached his destination and opened the door, greeting the coroner in the process.

"Hey, Alexx. What do you have?"

Alexx didn't look at him. For a moment, she just stood over the young boy's body, quietly caressing the pale little face before her, brushing the soft strands of his hair back in a tender manner. It reminded Eric of how much of a mother Alexx had been to the team…

To Speed…

To Ryan…

"Baby boy died of suffocation," Alexx finally replied, and Eric detected the sadness in her voice.

"I don't see any marks on his neck," Eric pointed out. "Was he strangled by an object? A pillow, perhaps?"

"No…" Alexx shook her head sadly. "Baby boy drowned."

"Suffocation by submersion," Eric realized.

"Mm-hmm… he had fluid in his lungs," Alexx pointed out.

"T.O.D.?"

"Liver temp indicates that this baby died between 9:00 to 10:00 last night."

Eric thought for a moment before asking, "Do you think this could've been an accident?"

"I don't know," Alexx shrugged. "It's certainly possible; the body was buried near the Everglades, wasn't it?" she reminded him.

Eric nodded, "Yeah… but nowhere near any immediate bodies of water."

Alexx finally met his eyes with curiosity, "What are you thinking?"

"That maybe he didn't drown in the same area we found him in. Maybe he drowned somewhere else and was buried there to hide the body."

Alexx nodded in understanding, "I'll draw some fluid from his lungs and send it to Trace for comparison; see if Ryan could find anything that would tell us what happened to this poor boy."

At the mention of Ryan's name, Eric stiffened slightly as the memories of what happened just two days ago flooded back to him. He wondered briefly if Alexx had had any inkling at all about Ryan having been friends with Speed before the older CSI had died.

"Um… Alexx?" Eric began hesitatingly.

"Hmmm?"

"Have you spoken to Ryan lately?"

"Yeah, spoke to him yesterday."

"I take it you talked to him about what happened at the chop shop?" he asked, more than stated.

"Mm-hmm… And he seems to be coping just fine," she paused a moment then frowned slightly, "Why do you ask?"

Eric sighed, "I spoke to him, too."

"And?" Alexx pressed, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"We just talked," Eric shrugged. "And I, uh…sort of found out something about Ryan that he didn't necessarily want me to find out… or the team, for that matter."

Alexx's curiosity was piqued and she asked, "Eric, what are you talking about?"

Taking a deep breath, Eric began, "Alexx, what, um…" he sputtered uneasily. "What do you know about Ryan?"

"What do you mean?" Alexx looked at him quizzically.

"I mean… what do you know about him? His past…his background…?" he trailed off.

Alexx shrugged, "Not much, really. Ryan pretty much keeps a lot to himself… doesn't like to talk about his personal life. And what little I do know, I practically have had to wrestle out of him."

"Oh…" Eric replied, seemingly lost in thought.

"Why?" Alexx asked him again. "What does this have to do with what you found?"

"Nothing," Eric shrugged, shaking his head.

Alexx gave him a pointed look, "Eric. Don't start something with me that you know you can't finish," she warned. "Now, what did you find out about my boy?" she asked a little more sternly now, a tinge of worry in her voice.

"It's nothing…big, Alexx," Eric began hesitatingly.

And yeah… That was a lie.

"I just… I don't even know if I should tell you," Eric replied. "I don't think Ryan would appreciate me telling you or anyone about it either."

"Eric, honey," Alexx began gently. "Don't take this the wrong way, but…since when did you start caring about what Ryan thought?"

Damn.

She had a point. And she was right.

In the past, Eric could really care less about what Ryan thought, but that was now _in the past_. Things have changed between them, or at least he thought so. Even his own feelings have changed since the incident at the chop shop…

Since he found out about Ryan's secret two days ago…

Since Ryan broke down in his arms…

Since he ended up holding Ryan on his couch until the young man had quieted down in his sleep…

Since he didn't bother (want?) to leave until he was sure that Ryan would be okay.

_They hadn't spoken a single word for the rest of that entire evening, and neither felt the need to break the silence. There was a sense of quiet comfortableness that had settled between the two men for the first time…_

_Eric had held Ryan when he finally broke down and cried. He held him until the young man had let all of his hurt, anger, and frustrations out of his system._

_By the time Ryan had calmed down, he lifted his head to look up at Eric, glassy greens shyly meeting concerned brown. For a moment, both men just looked at each other, neither one daring to speak, to break the hold, to make a move… And both trying frantically to figure out what was happening between them._

_A spark had been lit._

_And they could feel the beginnings of a fire and confusion coursing its way through their veins, crackling in the air around them, beginning a slow burn in their blood._

_Finally, Ryan took a deep breath and wordlessly extricated himself from Eric's embrace, Eric reluctantly letting the young man go. He watched as Ryan turned on his heels and silently made his way upstairs without sparing a second glance back at him. He heard the sound of running water and knew that Ryan was washing his face._

_And for a moment, he wondered whether that was his cue to leave. But his feet were rooted firmly to their spot, bolted down by something unseen, a force stronger than he was willing to fight at that moment. And as much as Eric would never openly admit it, a huge part of him didn't want to go at all._

_He didn't really want to leave Ryan alone._

_And so he stayed and stood there, frozen in place. He heard Ryan come down the steps a few minutes later and saw the young man freeze slightly in surprise at seeing him still standing there in his living room. But then Ryan just shook his head, and a small, amused smirk appeared briefly on his boyish face._

_He turned and grabbed two more beers from his fridge, walked over to the living room, and then set them down on the coffee table, before taking a seat on the couch. It was a silent invitation…and Eric knew it._

_Ryan was still too proud to ask him if he'd like to stay a while, and Eric was just as equally too proud to ask him if he could._

_Following Ryan's movements intently, Eric watched him cautiously avoid eye contact as he picked up the remote control. And when he heard the distinct sound of the television turning on, Eric finally unbolted his feet and sat down on the couch as well, close to Ryan, but not too close._

_They sat there on Ryan's couch, watching but not really watching the television in companionable silence, occasionally sipping their drinks but never once saying another word to each other for the rest of the night. Their minds, however, were a different story. Because they both knew that their thoughts were still running a million miles per minute, mentally dissecting the events of the day and what had just transpired between them._

_It wasn't until Ryan had fallen asleep a couple of hours later, his head tossed back and resting haphazardly on the back of the couch, that the wordless silence between them was broken._

_Eric had turned his head to find Ryan mumbling something in his sleep. At first, he merely tried to ignore it, thinking that Ryan was just having a dream. But then the mumblings turned into soft whimpers of desperation, of pain, and Eric simply couldn't ignore them any longer._

"_No… can't… already tried…" Ryan mumbled unconsciously. "too tired…"_

_He turned his head to find Ryan tossing his head slightly from one side to the other, his face wearing a pain-filled expression, his brows creased in a frown. He could hear the young man still mumbling almost incoherently in between heavy breaths, and he leaned slightly to put a hand on Ryan's shoulder, trying to wake him up._

"_Hey, man…" Eric called softly as he shook his shoulder slightly. "Ryan?"_

_But the younger man would not be roused from his dreadful slumber. Instead, his breathing became even harsher._

"_No place… no place… don't belong…" Ryan mumbled desperately in his sleep. "I can't… Don't make me do it… Please…"_

"_Ryan," Eric shook his shoulder again. "Ryan, wake up."_

"_No!" Ryan was whimpering now. "No, no… Please! Don't leave me!" he began to cry out now as a few tears started to roll down his pale face. "I can't do this… can't do this alone…"_

_Concerned and starting to panic, Eric pulled Ryan into his embrace and held him close against his chest, letting the younger man cry out in his sleep as he tried to comfort him the best he knew how._

_Ryan didn't even stir._

"_Shhhh…" Eric said as he rubbed soothing circles on Ryan's back. "It's okay, Ryan. I'm here… I'm not going anywhere," he replied, unconsciously answering Ryan's plea._

_But then Eric froze when he heard the next words out of Ryan's lips and realized whom he had been talking to in his sleep._

"_No, please… Speed… don't go… don't go… don't go…"_

_And that's when Eric tightened his hold on Ryan, feeling his own tears come down and stain his face. God! How he missed Speed, too! How he still dreamt about his fallen friend from time to time._

_And here was Ryan, in emotional torment from having lost the same friend, from having to fill in that same friend's shoe in the lab, and then from having gone through hell from everyone (except Horatio) for 'replacing' Speed and 'not being' Speed. And no one would've ever known that the young CSI, himself, was suffering and hurting just the same, if not more than most of the people in the lab because he was actually Speed's friend._

_He was just as in need of comforting after Speed had died, and what he got was animosity and maybe even hate. He had been treated with cruelty and ill will, and Eric realized that he had been suffering in silence for far too long._

_And now here he was, having a nightmare about Speed leaving him. And ironically, he was begging for the same thing that Eric had always begged the former CSI in his own sleep – he realized that he wasn't the only one who had begged for Speed to not go, to not leave him alone._

_And what was that bit about 'not belonging' and 'having no place'? Those words worried Eric even more, and he found himself resting his head protectively on top of Ryan's as he slowly rocked the young man back to a quiet sleep, a profound camaraderie beginning to take shape between them as they subconsciously 'bonded' over the loss of a dear friend._

_He continued to hold Ryan like this until he had stilled from his sobbing. And after a while, he heard the young man take a deep breath as if he was finally letting go of something, as if a heavy burden was being lifted off of him._

"_I'll miss you, Speed…" Ryan sighed in his slumber. "Never… Promise."_

_With those words, Eric felt Ryan relax more fully in his arms as the young man finally drifted off into a dreamless and more peaceful slumber._

_And still, Eric didn't let him go…_

"Eric?" Alexx called him worriedly. "Eric? Honey, are you okay?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Eric looked at Alexx and shook off the dazed look on his face, "Huh? Oh… Yeah, Alexx, I'm fine."

"You were just thinking about Ryan, weren't you?" Alexx asked knowingly.

Damn, the woman was frank! And she got it right, too. If Eric could say one thing about the M.E., she was definitely perceptive, and there weren't too many things that could escape her.

Smiling slightly in thought, Eric replied, "Yeah… I was."

An understanding smile graced the coroner's face, and she walked around the table and drew Eric in for a hug. He returned the kind gesture appreciatively.

"I'm glad you two are finally starting to get along," she told him, and Eric saw the sincerity in her eyes.

He smiled down at her and replied, "I know… me too."

And with that, Alexx let him go and turned around to resume her work.

"I'll send the water sample to Trace," she told him, returning her attention back to the case, her previous query about Ryan's secret forgotten for now. "You can check with Ryan later for the results."

"Thanks, Alexx," Eric replied, grateful for the fact that Alexx was sensitive enough to not push her question about Eric's discovery.

But that didn't mean that she wouldn't ever ask him about it again. Nonetheless, he still felt relieved that the woman had decided to drop the topic for now.

He left the morgue and picked up his kit before making his way out of the crime lab and into the already humid Miami morning air. He got into the Hummer and drove back down to the crime scene to collect the different water samples around the area. About an hour later, he was back at the crime lab to deliver the samples to Trace for comparison.

He made his way down the hall, trying to still his nerves, as he had made up his mind in the Hummer earlier that he was going to ask Ryan if he'd like to grab a beer or dinner or something with him after shift tonight. He really wanted to talk to the young CSI about his friendship with Speed, and if possible, about his dream two nights ago.

There were so many questions he wanted to ask Ryan.

So many questions that needed answers…

So many questions that _he _needed to be answered…

And so, taking a deep calming breath, Eric opened the door and walked into Trace, hoping that Ryan would be quite agreeable and wouldn't give him a hard time about his plan tonight.

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**TBC**

_**Let us know what you think. Reviews are much loved!**_

**A/N: **Up next, Eric and Ryan work a case and make plans to talk. Updating might take a while, so stay tuned!


	2. First Things First

**Title: **When Curves Were Straight 2 of ? 

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **R

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta: **Mistakes make me human…

**A/N: **Um… so I realized that I needed to sort of deal with the case that Eric and Ryan were working on first before I got into their long-awaited talk. hides behind desk At any rate, the case provides a good transition and helps to set up the next chapter. This is my first attempt at writing a 'procedural' chapter, so please forgive any inaccuracies. I tried my best to cover all the holes.

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Chapter 2 – First Things First

Ryan was just analyzing the water sample from the little boy's lungs under a microscope when Eric walked into Trace.

"Hey," Eric greeted as he walked in, trying to sound casual.

Ryan looked up and acknowledged him, "Hey. Those the other samples?" he asked, nodding pointedly at the box Eric was carrying.

"Yeah, mostly water from the Everglades," Eric replied, setting the box down on the table in front of Ryan.

Nodding, Ryan smirked, "Okay. Let's see what we got."

And with that, Ryan proceeded to work on the samples as Eric looked on with interest. He could feel the Cuban's eyes upon him as he skillfully prepared each of the samples before feeding them into the machine. Neither one said a word to each other, and for the time being, they were both grateful for that fact.

Both knew they just needed time to think before…

And, well, both knew it was only a matter of time…

The silence, of course, reminded Ryan of what had taken place in his apartment a couple of nights ago.

_He wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, but he did awaken to the rude sound of a car honking impatiently somewhere outside of his condo. Waking up with a start, he sat up and had to narrow his eyes at the 'unfamiliarity' that waking up in a place other than his bedroom had brought upon his senses._

_He looked down and frowned, noticing that he had been sleeping on his pillow, and that one of his spare blankets was draped over his legs. He didn't recall ever getting up from the couch, much less, pulling out a pillow and a blanket to sleep on the couch. The television was turned off, and even the beer that he had been drinking the previous night had now disappeared; no traces of it left whatsoever on the coffee table, not even a condensation ring._

_And then it suddenly hit him…_

_Eric Delko._

_Eric was in his living room and on his couch the night before. Did he somehow fall asleep on Eric? Did the older man kindly tuck him in and then cleaned up before leaving?_

_He was about to stand up and go into the kitchen to check his theory when another thought assaulted his still sleep-fogged brain. His eyes widened in panic, and he buried his head in his hands and shook his head in alarm._

"_Oh, god… oh, god… oh, god…" he muttered. "Damn it!" he cursed under his breath. "Fuck!"_

_Did Eric also hear him talking in his sleep?_

_It had almost become a ritual for him now, a ritual that he eagerly looked forward to ever since its inauguration in his sleep nearly two years ago…_

_Once a week and every Monday night in the land of sleep and possibilities, Tim Speedle would always pay him a much-anticipated visit. They would talk about anything and everything, and always, at the end of each appearance, Speed would make a promise to come back and see him again in exactly one week. And even though Ryan missed him terribly and would've preferred to have the real Speed come back to him in the flesh, the once a week visits did slowly help him to deal with his friend's death._

_And in his dreams, Ryan never had to worry about asking his friend if he would receive another visit the following week because Speed was 'always' the one who would make sure to make the promise to come back every Monday night. It was as if Speed could sense his friend's need to keep seeing him, could sense his friend's reluctance to let him go completely because he knew that without him, Ryan would be left all alone._

_And so, like a true friend, he had made a promise to Ryan to come and visit him for as long as Ryan needed him -- for as long as it took Ryan to grieve his loss and to move on. And to that end, Ryan never had to ask him, nay, beg him to not leave him alone._

_Until last night…_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Ryan's musings were interrupted by the sound of the mass spectrometer going off, alerting him that the samples he was running had been processed and that the results were finally being printed out.

Picking up the results from the printer, they compared the samples that Eric had collected against the sample that Alexx had drawn from the boy's lungs, and none of them matched or were even remotely close.

"Damn!" Ryan muttered in evident frustration. "A dead end."

To his surprise, Eric merely chuckled, "Or maybe not."

Looking at the older CSI quizzically, Ryan asked, "Why? What do you mean?"

"I have a theory," Eric teased.

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Ryan looked at Eric and smirked, "Let's hear it."

"Well, first of all, it didn't really make sense to me why our vic would be anywhere near where he was buried. So I asked myself if his death could've been an accident, or better yet, if he died someplace else."

"And was buried where the teenagers stumbled on him," Ryan finished for him.

Eric smiled, "Exactly. But I wanted to be sure and eliminate all possibilities, so I went back to the crime scene and collected water samples from the surrounding areas."

"Right," Ryan acknowledged. "And now, we don't have a match, so we're back to square one," he pointed out.

"Not so fast, Ryan," Eric interjected, holding his hand up. "Look at the results from the sample found in our vic's lungs, and break down the components for me."

Ryan picked up the printout once more and studied it before reading the results out loud to Eric.

"Okay, we got Sodium Lauroamphoacetate, Coco-Glucoside, Magnesium Laureth Sulfate, Peg-40 Glyceryl Cocoate, Peg-150 Distearate, Sodium Coceth Sulfate, Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Extract, Phenoxyethanol, Propylene Glycol, Citric Acid, Sodium Cocoyl Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Disodium EDTA, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Butylparaben, Ethylparaben, Propylpareben, Sodium Hydroxide, and your common residential water," Ryan listed.

"Residential," Eric repeated, and Ryan nodded. "So, that tells us that the crime happened in a home, not in the Everglades," Eric thought out loud.

"Right, but…" Ryan started to say but then abruptly stopped as he looked down at the sheet of paper once more, his eyes scanning the results in frenzy as his brows furrowed in realization.

"What is it?"

"I think I just figured it out," Ryan looked up at Eric with wide eyes. "These components that were mixed in with the water?"

Eric nodded, "Yeah?"

"It's baby shampoo."

"How did you know that?"

"I remember doing an experiment in college about the different components of baby shampoo. We were testing to see if the 'no tears' and the 'no tangles' slogans were actually true or if they were just marketing ploys," Ryan explained. "That's why these components looked so familiar."

"'Cause you've seen them before," Eric realized.

"Exactly."

"But there must be tons of different baby shampoos out there," Eric pointed out. "How do we narrow it down?"

To this, Ryan confidently grinned, "Because this, my friend, is not just any regular baby shampoo," he teased.

This time, it was Eric's turn to cross his arms and look at his young colleague, "I'm listening."

"This particular shampoo is called 'Organique Baby'. It is extremely high end and is ridiculously expensive," Ryan explained. "I know because during our class experiment, I remember how everyone had to share one little bottle of this brand. We had to be sparing so that there'd be enough for everybody to get a sample in order to perform the experiment."

A slow smile of approval made its way onto Eric's mouth, and he noticed a blush creeping up on Ryan's face. What was happening to them?

No… What was happening _between_ them?

Eric wasn't entirely sure, but as strange as it was for him to admit it, he knew for a fact that he liked it. He liked the fact that for the first time in their working relationship, he and Ryan were actually getting along so well…so far. And he liked the fact that he no longer felt any underlying tension or animosity towards the young CSI.

Their work relationship was improving already, and the feeling of ease and mutual respect between them was strangely consoling, to say the least. And Eric found himself wishing that none of the tension between them in the past had ever happened. He wished he could take it all back: all the meanness, the hurt… the arguments over some of the stupidest little things. He wished he could turn back time and rewrite their history.

"Very good," Eric stated approvingly.

"Now we just need to figure out which stores sell Organique Baby and then get a list of customers who purchased it within the last six months," Ryan concluded.

"Great," Eric agreed. "You do that while I go and check with Valera to see if she got any hits from CODIS. See if anyone might be related to our vic."

And with that Eric left Trace and headed towards DNA, while Ryan entered the search into one of their databases. He also entered a couple of other searches in the system just to cover his bases. About half an hour later, Eric returned just as Ryan was going through the results.

"Hey," Eric greeted again as he walked in.

"Hey, man," Ryan replied. "Got anything?"

"Sure did," Eric smiled. "I checked with Valera, and our vic's DNA had several alleles in common with someone in the system."

"Really?" Ryan asked, surprised.

"Yeah, really," Eric nodded, amused at Ryan's slightly incredulous look. "Our vic was a match to a Leo Bryant, a real estate attorney… I'm thinking he's our vic's father."

"What was he in the system for?"

"Fraud and money laundering two years ago," Eric replied. "But there wasn't enough evidence to convict him, and he was cleared of all charges. What did you find?"

"Only this…" Ryan replied with a smirk, and he quickly flipped through the pages and pointed down at a name. "Cassandra Bryant."

"Wife?" Eric asked, walking around the table to stand next to Ryan.

"Uh-huh," Ryan nodded. "It seems that Mrs. Bryant here purchased several bottles of Organique Baby about three weeks ago from the only store that sells it in the West Palm Beach area."

"You sure that's not just a coincidence?" Eric teased.

Ryan chuckled, "I'm afraid not. While you were checking for DNA results, I figured I'd do a couple of other searches on my own. So, I checked to see if anyone has filed a missing children's report in the last 24 hours or so."

"And?" Eric asked expectantly.

"And unfortunately, that was a dead end," Ryan replied. "However, I ran another search through several of the hospitals in the area for any baby boys that were born about 18 months ago and cross-referenced it with the list from the store, and…"

Eric's eyes lit up, "You got a match."

"Yep… an Oliver Bryant, born 18 months ago to a Leo and Cassandra Bryant of West Palm Beach," Ryan replied with a triumphant smile.

And Eric couldn't help but return it, "Great! I'll let Horatio know."

"And I'll get PD to bring them in for questioning," Ryan added, picking up the phone to call Tripp.

"Sounds like a plan," Eric smirked. "Good job, Ryan."

And with that, Eric quickly left Trace, knowing that Ryan's surprised eyes were upon him, watching him leave. He resisted the urge to look back and see Ryan's expression. He figured that things were going quite well for him as far as his plan was concerned, and that soon enough, he'd be able to ask Ryan out after shift.

But first, they needed to solve this case and close it. The sooner they finished this, the more time he had to spend with Ryan and ask him about all those questions he'd been dying to know. And the sooner they filed their report with H, the better mood they'd be in, knowing that they wouldn't have a pending case hanging over their heads, begging to be solved, even as they go home.

Yeah… solving a case always put them in a good mood.

Nearly two hours later, Tripp had brought in Mr. and Mrs. Bryant for questioning, and Eric and Ryan conducted the interrogation with him. At first, neither Leo nor Cassandra would admit to their baby being missing, much less to being dead, stating that their son was very much alive and was, in fact, with his grandparents for a few days in Orlando to give them some alone time as a couple.

But as soon as Tripp slid a picture of Oliver's cold and lifeless body across the table in front of Mrs. Bryant, she couldn't keep up her stony façade any longer, and she broke down in hysterics and cried helplessly in her husband's arms.

"Oliver was your son, wasn't he, Mr. Bryant?" Ryan asked sadly.

Wiping away some of his own tears, Leo picked up the picture of his son, and nodded, "Yes… Oliver was our son."

"His body was found buried near the Everglades," Eric told him. "Could you tell us what happened."

This time, Cassandra spoke up in between sobs, "Oh, god! I'm so sorry… It was an accident."

Frowning, in confusion and then in realization, Eric and Ryan looked at each other before turning back to look at the couple.

"An accident?" Tripp asked.

"Yes, it was an accident," Leo confirmed. "My wife and I had been trying to have a baby for years, and when Oliver was finally born, we were so overjoyed, we'd do anything for our son."

"Tell us happened," Eric said. "Our M.E. states that Oliver died between 9:00 and 10:00 last night.

"It was about 9:00, and I was giving Oliver his evening bath in our tub right before his bedtime, when Leo came home late from work," Cassandra began. "Normally, Leo would just come in and greet us, and we'd put Oliver to bed together. But this time, I heard a faint knock coming from our garage door. I figured I'd answer it quickly and then get back to Oliver before anything could happen, so I didn't take him out of the tub. I opened the door, and Leo… He… he…" she started crying again, and Leo had to finish the story for her.

"My wife was giving our son a bath when I came home. I had had a long day at work, but I was so excited to see my son and my wife that I stopped by a baby store to buy him the most expensive play pen set I could find. I also stopped by a flower shop to pick up a bouquet for Cassandra. I wanted to surprise them both," he explained. "I got home but couldn't open the door and carry the huge box, the flowers, and my briefcase too, and so I tried to knock. Luckily, Cassandra heard me, and she opened the door, and I told her what I'd brought home. I love my wife so much, and the look on her face was just priceless. She was so excited about what I'd done. I set what I was carrying down, picked her up, took her to the living room, and then we…" he choked unable to finish telling them the rest of the story.

But Ryan and Eric didn't need him to finish the story to figure out what had happened – it was a truly ironic event, an ordinary evening that began with great joy, only to end up becoming a tragedy. They felt sorry for the couple, for their loss, but they still needed to get their confession on record, and so they pressed on.

"So you came home, got excited, and ended up, uh…" he trailed off, a bit embarrassed with what he was about to ask them.

Mr. Bryant sniffed, but readily confessed, "Yes, our son died because in our moment of joy and excitement for each other, we forgot that he was still in the tub. And now our son is dead." Tears gathered in his eyes again, and he began to wail in despair as he held Oliver's photograph in front of him, tenderly caressing his son's face, "Oliver drowned while we were celebrating. The product of our love died while we were making love."

"Why didn't you call 911?"

"Because by the time we realized that we hadn't put Oliver to bed, it was almost 11:00," Mr. Bryant replied.

"And Oliver would've been dead for nearly two hours," Ryan realized.

"There wasn't anything anybody could've done to bring back our son," Mr. Bryant shook his head. "Losing him was bad enough, I just didn't want to get the police involved."

"And so you buried him near the Everglades, thinking that no one would ever find him," Eric supplied.

Mr. Bryant simply nodded and held onto his wife as she continued to cry, "Please… You have to believe us. It was an accident. We never meant for our son to die."

And that last comment hit Eric and Ryan hard. It hit right home, where it hurt them the most. The couple in front of them had just lost their son, and it somehow reminded them both of losing their friend, Speed – Miami Dade Crime Lab's Lost Son.

"I'm really sorry for your loss," Ryan's voice cracked slightly before he pushed his chair back and stood up.

Eric followed his lead, telling the couple to stay put while they informed Horatio about their confession. And sensing the dismay in both of their faces, Horatio nodded and gave them a sad smile, stating that he'd take care of completing their report for them as long as they made sure to log in all of their evidence and put the paperwork together for him. They did just that, and when they had finished, they took the report to Horatio, who thanked them for their work and told them to enjoy the rest of their evening off.

By the time Eric and Ryan headed towards the locker room to change and gather their belongings, it was nearly 5:00, and Eric had begun to get nervous again. Stuffing the last of his used clothing into a bag, he looked over at Ryan to see him doing the same thing.

"You heading home?" Eric tried to ask casually.

"Yeah," Ryan replied, sparing him a quick glance before turning his attention back to his previous activity. "You?"

"No… at least not yet," came his teasing reply.

Ryan chuckled, "Going out?"

"You could say that," Eric smirked as he shut his locker.

Ryan smiled tightly as he finished zipping up his bag, feeling a strange surge of jealousy shoot through his veins, "Hot date?"

"_You could say that again…"_ he thought mischievously before replying, "No, just dinner."

Ryan nodded as if in understanding as he shut his locker, "Ah… Dinner with family, then?"

"Actually, no… it's dinner with a friend," Eric smiled, walking up to Ryan.

Ryan turned to look at Eric and cocked his head to the side as if in thought, "Huh… Well, have fun then," he smiled tightly again.

He was just about to turn around and walk away when he felt Eric's hand on his arm, holding him back.

"That would depend on you, now, wouldn't it?" Eric smirked again.

This time, Ryan frowned in confusion, "I thought you were having dinner with a friend?"

Eric chuckled and shook his head, "Ryan, you _are _the friend."

And without giving Ryan a chance to protest or to ask him about what he had meant, he swiftly made his way out of the locker room and out of the crime lab, dragging a confounded Ryan alongside of him. They reached the parking lot before Ryan spoke up.

"What about my car?"

"Leave it," Eric stated. "We'll come get it later."

Ryan simply nodded and took his seat on the passenger side, throwing his bag in the back seat, Eric doing the same thing. They drove in relative silence with Eric furtively glancing at Ryan every now and then, wondering what he was thinking about, as the younger man hadn't once looked at him since they started driving.

About 20 minutes later, Eric pulled up in front of The Blue Fin Seafood & Bar, the local bar that Eric and the team used to frequent when Speed was still alive. It was the same bar that they were standing in front of when they asked this lady to take their picture, the same bar that was in the picture inside Horatio's office.

Ryan recognized the place…

They got out, and Eric was thankful that the place wasn't too busy and that they were able to garner a secluded booth towards the back corner of the restaurant. They each ordered a beer for starters and took the short time to look over the menus before placing their dinner orders. By the time Doreen, their waitress, finally left to put in their orders, Eric had already downed most of his drink, trying to calm his increasingly frenzied nerves.

"So…" Eric leaned forward, anxiously meeting Ryan's eyes.

There were so many things he could ask Ryan right now, so many things he wanted to know… But how does he even begin? How does he even broach a subject that he knew would be extremely personal for Ryan without offending him or inadvertently pushing him away? Without putting a strain on their tenuous friendship?

"So…" Ryan replied, unconsciously mimicking Eric's movements.

Eric opened his mouth to speak but then shut it quickly, feeling his mouth become dry all of a sudden. He swallowed thickly and then tried to speak again, but still, nothing would come out, the words vanishing from him before they could even reach his mouth. Frustrated, he took the last swig of his beer and set the bottle down before meeting Ryan's searching stare.

"_Damn! This is a lot harder than I thought," _Eric looked down and shook his head.

Why was he unable to speak out all of a sudden? What was he getting so timid about? And nervous? Hell yeah, he was nervous!

He was about to try and open his mouth a third time, when he heard Ryan take a deep breath. He looked up and met Ryan's gaze once more and saw realization flash through the younger man's eyes, saw the inevitable dawn in the CSI's boyish face.

And Eric held his breath…

"I suppose you brought me here to talk about Speed…"

-----

**TBC**

_**Next update will take a while, but reviews are much loved and keep me going!**_

**A/N: **'Organique Baby' and The Blue Fin Seafood & Bar were totally made up, although I did research some of the ingredients that go into expensive baby shampoos, just fyi. Up next, Eric and Ryan have their long-awaited talk. I promise.


	3. When Ryan Met Speed

**Title:** When Curves Were Straight 3? 

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta: **Mistakes make me human…

-----

Chapter 3 – When Ryan Met Speed

_Stolen moments _

_Time has broken_

_My eyes are opened to this life-long mystery_

-----

_He was about to try and open his mouth a third time, when he heard Ryan take a deep breath. He looked up and met Ryan's gaze once more and saw realization flash through the younger man's eyes, saw the inevitable dawn in the CSI's boyish face._

_And Eric held his breath…_

_"I suppose you brought me here to talk about Speed…"_

-----

Eric leaned back, letting out a long, slow breath as he studied the young man in front of him. Although he was strangely relieved to have Ryan finally figure out the main purpose behind his dinner invitation, he was even more relieved to find that the young man didn't seem to be upset with him.

In fact, he looked like he had been expecting this…Q&A, albeit unenthusiastically.

"What do you want to know?" Ryan asked quietly, looking down at the bottle in his hands.

"I want to know everything."

Ryan snorted and didn't look up, "You're gonna have to be more specific than that."

Eric took another deep breath and leaned forward once more, "Start from the beginning," he replied. "How did you know Speed?"

Now, it was Ryan's turn to take a deep breath. Keeping his gaze down, he studied the bottle in his hands before responding.

"When I was in Patrol, I used to see you, H, Calleigh, and Speed work the different crime scenes while Alexx worked on the victims. I didn't know your names back then, except Horatio, but I always envied your position because you got to stay on the case until it was resolved… I never got that in Patrol. I figured that if I wanted to become a CSI that I should start attending the seminars you guys offered from time to time. And so I went…to every single one of them," Ryan looked up and met Eric's eyes.

"So, you hit all the seminars," Eric repeated. "Was that how you met Speed?"

Ryan nodded, "You guys held a dual seminar at Miami U about eight months before I joined CSI. Speed and Calleigh were there as guest lecturers; they were each doing a different seminar, but they were teaching it twice in one day: once in the morning, and once in the afternoon to give everyone who was interested a chance to take both."

"Oh yeah, I remember that one…" Eric noted with a smile. "Speed wasn't really looking forward to it; he didn't like speaking in front of people."

Ryan chuckled and nodded at the memory, "Yeah, and he had to do it twice in one day."

Eric chuckled as well, noting the reminiscing smile on Ryan's face, _"That's it, Eric. Keep the tone light with Ryan. Don't upset him. Just keep it light," _he reminded himself before urging Ryan to continue.

"Anyway, I had already pre-registered for both seminars so I didn't have to check in, and I got there early so I could locate the classrooms they were going to be held in. I knew that the seminars were being held at the Alumni Hall, but for some reason, the rooms we were going to use were "TBA" (to be announced) on the information packet they gave us. I saw the registration desk they had set up for the seminar, but there was a long line of people waiting to check in. I didn't want to wait in line since I just needed to know where the classrooms were anyway, plus I wanted to get a good seat," Ryan explained.

Eric couldn't help but laugh a little at what Ryan had just told him.

"What?" Ryan asked, frowning.

Eric shook his head, "Nothing… It's just that when you said you wanted to get in there early so you could get a good seat…" he trailed off and chuckled again.

"What? What's wrong with that?" Ryan asked, slightly annoyed and embarrassed this time.

"Oh, no, no… Nothing's wrong with it… Sorry, man… I just…" Eric sputtered.

"You just what?"

"I just think that… well, it's so…_you_," Eric finally admitted.

Ryan simply rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Let me guess… you're one of those guys who liked to sit in the back of the room, where the teacher wouldn't notice you or call on you, am I right?"

"And let me guess," Eric mimicked mockingly, "You're one of _those _guys who liked to sit in the front of the room so you could hear everything that the teacher had to say, take lots of legible notes, and then answer any questions that the teacher might throw at you, am I right?"

"You'd be surprised at just how helpful those notes could be," Ryan defended.

"Actually, I'd be more surprised if you were to do it any differently," he smiled teasingly then. "I couldn't imagine having you any other way."

There was something about the way Eric had said that last remark that suddenly made Ryan's heart pound faster in his chest and made him turn a rich shade of pink. What did he mean by that? Was that supposed to be a good thing? He blinked and then turned his eyes away, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he began to fiddle with the bottle in his hands again, unable to speak.

Just then, Doreen returned with a small basket of bread, and both Eric and Ryan sighed with relief at the welcome distraction, each taking the opportunity to order additional drinks. They're going to need more bottles if they were ever going to get through tonight… if they were going to get everything out in the open.

"So…" Eric began carefully, knowing how his last comment had made the younger man blush, "…then what happened? What did you do?"

Ryan looked up this time and answered him simply, "I looked around and found someone who looked like they knew what the hell was going on."

Eric laughed again, "And by finding 'someone' I assume you meant that you found Speed."

Ryan grinned, "Exactly."

"I could totally see that happening, man," Eric grinned as well. "Speed always had a way of looking like he knew what was going on."

"Yeah, 'look' being the operative word," Ryan quipped, and they both laughed at that.

"So, did he actually know what was going on that time?" Eric asked curiously.

Ryan nodded slowly, "Yeah… As a matter of fact, he did…"

_Looking around for a moment to see if he could find someone who might be able to tell him which rooms he needed to go into, Ryan spotted a tall, dark-haired man, who looked like he had just gotten out of bed and forgot to shave. He was wearing dark slacks, a blue button-down shirt, and a blazer; he didn't look comfortable in his clothing, and from his vantage point, Ryan could sense that he didn't look too happy being there either. _

_Taking a deep breath, Ryan walked up to the scruffy fellow, and lightly tapped him on the shoulder, "Excuse me."_

_The man turned around, and looked at Ryan with a questioning eyebrow, "Can I help you?"_

_"Yes, you can, actually… I'm here for the seminars, and I was wondering if you could tell me which rooms they're being held in?"_

_The man smirked, "Sure thing. They're actually gonna be in the last two rooms down that hall, right across from each other," he replied, pointing at the hallway to his right._

_Ryan followed his hand before looking back at the gentleman, "Thank you, uh…"_

_"Speedle. Tim Speedle," the older man quickly introduced himself and offered up his hand._

_"Ryan Wolfe," he replied with a smile and shook the offered hand. "Tim Speedle… you're one of the guest lecturers, aren't you?"_

_Speed chuckled, "Yeah. Kind of unfortunate, huh?"_

_Ryan frowned in confusion, not knowing what to make of the older man's remark._

_Seeing the look on the younger man's face, Speed leaned in and lowered his voice, "Don't tell anyone, but I hate speaking in front of people."_

_"Oh…" Ryan realized and they both chuckled at that._

_"So, Mr. Wolfe…" Speed began._

_"Ryan," the younger man quickly cut in. "Call me Ryan."_

_Smirking slightly, Speed readdressed him, "Okay… so, Ryan… which seminar did you sign up for anyway?" Speed asked curiously._

_"Actually, I signed up for both."_

_"Both, huh?" he considered Ryan's answer for a minute before asking, "Which one do you have first?"_

_"'Thinking Outside The Box: Tools to Analyze Evidence' by a Ms. Duquesne," Ryan replied._

_Speed smiled, "So, you're in Calleigh Duquesne's class in Room 110. That would be a really good class. Plus, Calleigh's a wonderful lecturer… much better than me. I'm sure you'll enjoy her class. You'll get a lot out of it."_

_"I hope so. But I have your class at 1:30. I'm sure I'll enjoy that as well."_

_Speed merely chuckled at this, "Don't be so sure, Ryan, or you might just get disappointed."_

_"I doubt it," Ryan smiled. "I've seen you work, and you look like you know what you're doing."_

_"You've seen me work?" Speed asked quizzically, brows furrowing. "Where?"_

_"At a few crime scenes," Ryan replied plainly. "I've secured some of your areas before."_

_"Ah! So, you're in Patrol, then? I thought you might've looked familiar. I guess I didn't recognize you without the uniform," Speed realized with a chuckle. "So, what brought you to this seminar?" he asked, intrigued._

_"Curiosity," Ryan answered simply. "And the fact that I'd really like to be more involved with the cases, follow it from cradle to grave, so to speak. I want to know what happened and why it happened. But more than anything, I just want closure." Tim seemed to consider his answer again, "Sounds to me like you want to be a criminalist."_

"_I do," Ryan confirmed._

"_You think you're up for it? Think you're ready?"_

"_Oh, I'm definitely up for it," Ryan replied. "But I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. It'll take a few months, I think, before I'm completely ready."_

"_A few months? Why? This isn't exactly rocket science, you know?" he asked teasingly._

_Ryan shrugged, "I like to be as prepared as I can be, which means that I need a few more seminars under my belt before I could even consider becoming a CSI."_

"_I'm assuming here that you already have a degree?"_

"_Yeah… a Bachelor's in Chemistry. Why?"_

_Speed shook his head in amusement, "Well, I don't really know you, Ryan Wolfe, but based on what I've gathered from you these last few minutes, I'd say that you're ready to become a CSI. I think it's already in your blood. But whatever… it's your prerogative. If you think you need more time to prepare, then by all means, do that. But when the time comes and you feel that you're finally ready to join us? Well, here…" he reached for his wallet, pulled out one of his business cards, and wrote down his cell phone number on it before handing it to Ryan. "Give me a call, and I'll put in a good word for you to Horatio and Yelina."_

_Ryan took the card and looked at it before smiling, "Thanks, Tim."_

"_Speed," the older man corrected him._

"_Huh?"_

"_Nobody calls me Tim anymore except my parents," he clarified. "Call me Speed, otherwise I might not know who you're talking to."_

_Ryan chuckled, "I see… Well, thanks again, Speed."_

"_My pleasure, Ryan. See you in class?" he asked with a smile, his morning looking brighter already._

_Ryan nodded, "Yep. 1:30."_

_And with that, Ryan turned on his heels. But just as he started to walk away, Speed called after him again. There was just something about the younger man that seemed to remind Speed of his younger self. Was it his ambition? His drive? His self-confidence that perhaps bordered a bit on the side of cockiness? Or was it the traces of sarcastic wit he detected?_

_Whatever it was, Speed somehow felt drawn to him, like he wanted to know what Ryan Wolfe was all about, even though he 'sensed' that he already knew the younger man._

_Plus, an unusual thought had just birthed a crazy idea in his head, an idea that he would have to set into motion and deliver himself, an idea that would require some tweaking and cajoling and…_

_Yes. A crazy idea, indeed…_

"_Hey, Ryan?"_

_Turning around, Ryan replied, "Yeah?"_

"_How would you like to learn more about the ins and outs of CSI over lunch?" he bated._

"_Really?" Ryan asked, surprised. "You don't mind doing that?"_

"_Nah…" Speed shrugged. "It'll be my pleasure. Besides, when you do become a CSI, I want everyone to know that you got the 'low-down' from me. I want to make sure I take the credit for why you turned out so well," he added with a wink._

_Chuckling, Ryan replied, "The 'low-down,' huh? Why not? Sounds like fun."_

"_Great! Meet me in Room 109 after your seminar, and we'll head out to lunch, then."_

_  
"What about Calleigh?" Ryan asked curiously._

"_What about Calleigh?"_

"_Aren't you gonna have lunch with your colleague?"_

_Speed shook his head, "No. Calleigh has to get back to the lab to process a backlog of bullets. She'll most likely grab something to go and eat it on the way back to the lab."_

"_And you don't have any work waiting for you?"_

"_Not at this moment, no," Speed assured him._

"_Well, okay then. I guess I'll see you after class."_

"_Alright. See you then," Speed waved._

_Once more, Ryan turned around and headed down the hallway before going into Room 110. He found a good seat near the front of the class, sat down, and took out his laptop. A few minutes later, a petite blonde came in with some materials as people continued to trickle inside. Then, at exactly 10:00, the lecture began._

"You know what?" Eric began in amusement.

"What?"

"I'm gonna amend one of my previous statements."

"Which one?"

"The one about you taking legible notes during a lecture."

"Okay…" Ryan gave him a weird look.

Eric laughed, "It turns out that you don't even have to write legibly because you actually type up your notes in neat little outline form, don't you?" he teased.

"Hey! I wasn't the _only_ one who brought a laptop to that class," Ryan defended, feigning a scandalized look.

"Oh, really?" Eric challenged. "And just how many people did bring their laptops to that seminar, Ryan?" he leaned on the table and raised a teasing eyebrow at the younger man.

"I don't remember," Ryan evaded.

"And I don't believe that one bit," Eric pressed. "Come on, man. I know you remember."

"Why does it matter?" Ryan asked in annoyance.

"Why won't you answer?" Eric asked back.

"Fine!" Ryan huffed.

"So…" Eric pressed again. "How many were there, Ryan?"

"One."

Eric heard it even though Ryan had answered so quietly. He decided to have a little fun with it anyway.

"I'm sorry…" Eric began, leaning forward even more as he cupped his hand behind his ear in an exaggerated manner. "Could you speak into my good ear? I thought I heard you say a number."

Rolling his eyes in amused irritation, Ryan retorted, "You heard me."

"I'm sorry, wh- what was that number again?" Eric continued mockingly.

"One."

And this time, Ryan glared at him. Eric only laughed at his expression and continued to pester him.

"And _who_ was the other person who had brought their laptop with them?"

Ryan leaned back and crossed his arms, "I think you already know."

Eric raised a finger and waved it in the air, "Uh-uh-uh… There will be no dodging or skirting around the question here, Ryan. Now… who was the _only_ other person who brought a laptop?" he asked again.

Ryan huffed and then muttered, "Calleigh."

"I can't hear you," Eric exaggerated.

"Calleigh! Okay? There! You happy now?" Ryan all but growled at him in restrained exasperation.

With a laugh, Eric finally relented and grinned, "See? Was that so hard?"

Ryan was about to answer, but Doreen chose at that exact moment to return with their dinner and a couple more bottles of their drinks. She set their plates down in front of them and took up their previously empty bottles before leaving them alone once more. They realized then that they hadn't even touched the bread.

"So…" Eric began teasingly with a smirk. "What did you learn from Speed during your lunch?"

Ryan merely rolled his eyes again, shook his head, picked up his knife and fork, and then started cutting the meat on his plate in a comically vexed manner, muttering something about annoying co-workers and bothersome friends asking really, really, _really_ nosey questions.

Eric only laughed…

-----

**TBC**

**_Okay, okay... This 'dinner night' is not yet over for these two, FYI, but the next chapter (which is a continuation of their conversations from this night) will REALLY take a while to update this time. I can only give birth so often (figuratively, heh-heh!) before I go crazy, and I had to push really hard to get this one out of my head, down to my fingers, and onto the screen. So there… sighs tiredly from writer's labour pains_**

**_As always, reviews are much loved!_**

**A/N: **The seminar Ryan attended that morning was the same one he mentioned to Calleigh in the S3 Episode: Legal. I purposely made the tone of this chapter a bit lighter because I didn't want their memory of Speed to always be sad and gloomy. Plus, I wanted to keep building an easy-going friendship and trust between Eric and Ryan, and I wanted to show that they're doing just that through some of the banter/flirting in their conversation. I hope that makes sense.


	4. In The Shadow Of Speed

**Title:** **When Curves Were Straight 4?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13 or T for language

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta: **Mistakes make me human…

**A/N: **Damn these plot penguins! It seems that the more I write, the longer this story gets, and the more chapters I have to add to fit every plot that they're continuously spawning into this neat little package of a fic.

-----

Chapter 4 – In The Shadow Of Speed

By the time the two criminalists had finished eating and Eric had paid for their meals despite Ryan's staunch protests, it was nearly 7:15 pm. They had spent nearly two hours just talking and laughing and sharing fond memories of their mutual friend over dinner, and Eric had learned a great deal about the nature of Ryan's relationship with Speed.

"So, he took you under his wing, huh?" Eric asked, slightly amused.

"I guess you could say that," Ryan agreed with a chuckle. "He mentored me and looked out for me like a big brother. But he was a lot worse than Alexx, though. I can't tell you the number of times I felt like he was my mother hen, and I was one of his chicks… He was always hovering over me, wanting to know how I'm progressing from Patrol to CSI, like he couldn't wait for me to join the team and surprise everyone, you know? He was always watching my back, too, which was a good thing, but sometimes I wondered if I was ever gonna get out from under his wings."

Ryan fell silent for a moment and the smile he had on his face vanished momentarily as he thought about the ramifications of what he had just said. He looked down at his hands and frowned, and Eric could sense the guilt radiating off of him.

He breathed out an ironic sigh, "Most of the time, though, I'd gladly take being under Speed's wings anytime if it meant that I could have him back… if it meant that he was still alive."

He said it so quietly that the Cuban almost didn't hear him. Yet he did… And now it was his turn to feel guilty about the whole thing. Here was Ryan, who, unbeknownst to the team, had been under Speed's protective wing all along, mentoring and training him to become a hell of a CSI.

And what did he get?

Not support, that's for sure.

No… Ryan Wolfe got ridiculed and scorned behind his back, got unfairly compared to someone who had far more experience and know-how than he did, got labeled as a replacement and pushed aside as insignificant and naive, even as they all put Tim Speedle up on an impossibly high pedestal, a pedestal that they themselves had set up for Ryan never to reach.

In effect, they had inadvertently set up for Ryan to fail. They never wanted him to replace Speed. They never intended for him to last this long as a CSI. They never counted on him being this damn good.

They never knew who Ryan Wolfe really was…

The irony of it all was that it was Speedle, himself, who had trained and mentored Ryan and who had had a hand at preparing the young man to become a criminalist. So, really… when they were putting Ryan down, belittling his abilities, treating him with contempt, and wounding him behind his back, weren't they insulting and hurting Speed as well?

And to add more irony to the mixture, it seemed to Eric that whether alive or dead, Ryan couldn't seem to get out from underneath Speed's shadow: he was either trying to branch out from under Speed's protective wings and influence when the stubborn man was still alive, or he was _still_ trying to prove himself worthy of Horatio's hand-picked honor from under the shadow of Speed, their beloved friend and fallen comrade – the CSI he had unintentionally replaced.

He was supposed to be an addition… _not_ a replacement.

That was Speed's plan all along…

Where did it go so wrong?

Eric knew the answer, of course, and it wasn't Ryan's fault. Never was, never is, and never will be… it was just too damn convenient and too damn easy to lay the blame on him because he was the rookie, the 'replacement,' the one who could never understand the loss and the grief that their team was going through due to Speed's unfortunate and untimely death.

It was too damn easy to dump all that hurt and anger on the newbie, too damn easy to point the finger on him instead of dealing with the real issue at hand, instead of dealing with the truth, which was still too bitter to completely digest.

And he took it all in stride, took it all with quiet patience, with unmatched understanding, with silent dignity, and without a sliver of contempt for anyone who was still grieving over Timothy Speedle's death, even though he, himself, was secretly mourning and hurting and grieving all the same.

He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve _any_ of it… yet he took it all like a man.

Ryan Wolfe had taken it all alone…

"You wanna get out of here?" Eric finally asked, when the silence seemed pregnant enough.

Ryan gave him a thin smile and nodded, "Sure."

And with that, they left the table, got into Eric's car, and drove off. A heavy silence fell between them, each avoiding the other's gaze as Eric drove aimlessly, not really thinking about where he was taking them until he had pulled up into a half-filled parking lot right across from the beach.

He shut off the engine, and opened his door, thankful that Ryan hadn't asked him what they were doing there. Instead, the younger man simply opened his door and got out as well without any prompting from Eric. And as if on cue, they met up at the front of Eric's car, almost simultaneously tucked their hands in their pockets, and began walking down the unusually quiet beach together.

The sun had already set beyond the horizon, casting an orange and purple glow in its wake and allowing them to still see enough of the beach and what little activity was going on around them. It was the 'perfect' setting to just walk and talk and meditate on the fond memories of their friend.

They walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Eric decided to break it with a chuckle.

Looking over at the older man with a confused frown, Ryan asked, "What's so funny?"

Eric shrugged, "Nothing… It's just… hearing you talk about how Speed seemed to have invaded your life reminds me of how he'd tried to do the same with me."

"Oh?" Ryan's eyebrow quirked up and he curiously asked, "What did he do?"

Eric took a deep breath and reached back into his memory before responding with a thin smile, "He once tried to set me up on a blind date."

"Really?" Ryan asked, surprised and amused at the same time. "He did that to me, too."

This time, Eric's eyebrow quirked up curiously, and he stopped walking, "Really, now? So, uh… how did it go?"

Ryan shrugged and continued to walk, "It didn't go… it _didn't_ happen."

"Why not?"

Ryan shrugged again and stated simply, "Date never showed."

"Oh…" Eric said quietly, wondering who would be stupid enough to leave Ryan hanging like that. Heck, if it had been him, he would've… "I had the same thing happen to me, too," he added sympathetically.

"You?" Ryan asked incredulously. "You mean the great Eric Delko, woman magnet and certified ladies' man, actually got stood up?" he asked, amused.

Eric cringed at the label, but forced a chuckled anyway to hide his discomfort at what Ryan thought about him, "Yeah, once."

"This I gotta hear," Ryan chuckled as well. "So, what happened?"

Eric sighed heavily, not really wanting to share _that_ 'embarrassing' experience, but Ryan had asked him, and he wasn't about to turn him away… he wasn't about to put a needless strain on their newly formed friendship. He stopped walking again, turning to face the ocean, before taking a seat on the sand. Ryan watched him sit down before following his lead, sitting down on the sand next to him, but not too close.

"Speed just came up to me one day and was sort of asking about my 'love life.'"

"And he was being purposely vague about it, too, wasn't he?" Ryan added with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, he was," Eric smiled back. "He was acting really strange, and when I finally got a hold of him, he just said that he had found someone who would be perfect for me…"

_"Hey, Eric," Speed greeted his friend with a mischievous smile as he walked into the layout room, where Eric had been pouring over photographs of their latest crime scene._

_"Hey, man, what's up?" Eric greeted, pausing from his work as he noticed a suspicious-looking grin on his friend's face._

_"Your love life," Speed answered vaguely._

_"Huh?" Eric frowned, confused._

_Speed chuckled, "Your love life, man," he repeated. "You're not seeing anyone at the moment, right?"_

_"Not at the moment, no. But that doesn't mean I'm not…"_

_Speed put up a hand and cut off his friend with an even bigger grin, "Great! That's all I need to know. Thanks, man!"_

_And with that, he turned around and proceeded to walk out of the layout room in haste._

_"…getting laid," Eric finished, half-muttering to himself as he watched the other man leave abruptly._

_He blinked in bewilderment a few times, trying to make sense of what had just taken place, but he was getting even more confused, and thinking about it was starting to drive him nuts. He was so baffled by his friend's devious behavior that he dropped what he was doing and quickly followed Speed out of the lab, catching up with him on his way to the locker room._

_"Speed!" Eric called him, but the other man didn't turn around. Instead he seemed to have picked up his pace, as if he was trying to get away from him, "Speed!" Eric called him again as he, too, picked up his pace. "Speed, man… wait up!" he said as he finally caught up with him just as he was entering the locker room. "Speed…" Eric began again as he went inside, "What the hell is going on, man?"_

_It wasn't until Speed had reached his locker, opened it, and proceeded to shuffle around in his bag, looking for something specific, that he even acknowledged Eric's presence. He looked up and grinned brightly at his friend, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened._

_"Eric, man… What can I do for you?" he asked nonchalantly._

_Eric stared at him in wide-eyed disbelief. Oh, something was up. Something was_ definitely _up…_

_"What did you do?" Eric glared at him suspiciously._

_"What makes you think I did anything?" Speed parried, still grinning._

_"I know you, Timothy Speedle," Eric replied, not the least bit convinced of his friend's innocence. "And I know when you're up to something."_

_"Oh, so you're calling me by my full name, now, huh?" he teased, still avoiding the topic. "Does that mean I'm in trouble?"_

_"You will be if you don't tell me what the hell is going on," Eric threatened._

_"Oooh!" Speed mocked, raising his hands up and shaking his fingers. "I'm so scared, Delko… Really… I'm shaking in my pants."_

_"Well, you should be," Eric replied. "Tell me what the hell is going on, or I'll sick Alexx on you," he threatened once more, knowing the uncanny power and influence the M.E. had over her boys._

_Speed merely snorted as he put his bag back in his locker, "Yeah, right… You wouldn't." he dared._

_"Oh, I would," Eric replied, grinning this time, feeling like he might just be gaining the upper hand._

_"Whatever, man," Speed shrugged stubbornly. "It's not like I'm scared of her anyway," he mocked, knowing full well that he'd be in trouble if Alexx heard him saying these things._

_"You sure about that?" Eric challenged, knowingly. He whipped out his cell phone and held it up, "How about I call Alexx right now and tell her what you just said?"_

_"Tell me what who just said?" Alexx asked as she walked around the corner and approached the now-wide eyed men._

_Speed glared at Eric, not wanting him to reveal what he had just said about Alexx, but the Cuban merely smirked._

_"Nothing, Alexx," Eric smiled sweetly as he cast a smug look into Speed's direction. "Speed and I were just talking."_

_"Oh?" Alexx asked curiously. "About what, Speed?" she asked, scrutinizing him with her stare._

_Speed coughed and sputtered uncomfortably, "It's nothing, Alexx… we were just, uh… talking about Delko's love life," he evaded, trying to put the attention back on Eric._

_It was Eric's turn to glare at him this time. Oh, he's good… but not_ that _good. He straightened up and fixed the sweetest smile he could muster on his face as he turned towards the coroner._

_"Yeah, Alexx… my love life," Eric agreed. "Speed here was asking me if I was seeing anyone, and I told him no, but now he wouldn't tell me why he wanted to know or what the hell is going on." He then leaned down and raised his hand as if to cover his mouth, mock whispering into Alexx's ear, but loud enough for Speed to hear, "I think he's up to something."_

_He looked up smugly only to be met by Speed's glaring eyes. He laughed, knowing that if Speed's eyes could talk, they would say something to the effect of: "Damn you, Delko! Why did you have to bring Alexx into this? When I get my hands on you, you are so…"_

_"What's going on, Speed?" Alexx now asked the scruffy man._

_Speed sighed, knowing that he had been caught, and that there was no way he could keep evading them any longer. Unless…_

_"Alexx, do you trust me?" Speed asked suddenly._

_"That depends," she replied. "What's it about?"_

_"Do you trust me enough to have Eric's best interest in mind?" Speed asked, putting on the sweetest and most innocent smile he could put on without throwing up himself._

_"Alexx…" Eric looked at her worriedly._

_She looked back and forth between her boys as if to consider Speed's question, before shrugging an answering, "I suppose I trust you enough."_

_"Well, alright!" Speed declared smugly. "I guess it's settled then!"_

_"Hey!" Eric interjected. "I'm right here, people! This is me you're talking about, you know!"_

_But his protests fell on deaf ears as Alexx smirked knowingly at Speed. Only then did Eric realize that they were now in cahoots with each other and were indeed about to scheme against him._

_"Whatever it is that you're thinking about doing… you can forget about it 'cause I'm not doing it!" Eric huffed._

_"Oh, come on, man!" Speed whined. "I found you someone who I know would be so perfect for you! Just give it a chance, will you?" he pleaded._

_"Nope. Not gonna do it," Eric replied, crossing his arms._

_"Now, now, Eric," Alexx intervened. "You did say that you weren't seeing anyone at the moment, right?" Eric nodded reluctantly, and she continued, "So, why not? Why don't you give this one a chance? See if Speed's right?" she coaxed him gently._

_"And if he's not?"_

_"Then you have my permission to gloat and rub it in his face that he was wrong," Alexx baited._

_Eric seemed to consider this arrangement for a moment before heaving a resigned sigh, " Alright, fine! I'll do it," he finally relented. "Who is it, and what do I have to do?"_

_Speed smirked once again, "That, my dear Delko, is for me to know, and for you to find out soon."_

_"What?" Eric frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"If I tell you now, then it would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?" Speed evaded once again. "Now, what would be the fun in that?"_

_"But…" Eric started to protest, but then realization dawned on him, and he looked at Speed incredulously. "You didn't."_

_"Oh, I did," Speed laughed._

_"You set me up?" Eric asked, still incredulous over what Speed had done._

_"Yep… I took care of all the details, and all you have to do now is go and meet h-… eurm… this person," he stated, catching himself at the last minute before he could give away a very 'important' detail._

_"A blind date? Speed?" Eric asked, more annoyed now than ever. "You set me up on a fucking blind date?"_

_"Don't worry, man," Speed grinned teasingly. "It'll be the best blind date you've ever had! And if everything goes well, then it should be the last blind date you'll ever be involved in."_

_"Oh, this isn't over between us, man…" Eric threatened, glaring at his friend. "I'll get even with you…somehow."_

_Speed only laughed, "I'm sure you will, Delko. I'm sure you will," he replied patting Eric's shoulder patronizingly. "But we'll see… 'cause right now, you're the one who has a blind date tonight,' he added, waggling his eyebrows suggestively._

_Eric nearly choked when he heard what Speed had said, "T- tonight?" he sputtered. "Tonight?"_

_"Yeah… so you better hope we get a break in this case because at 7:00 tonight, you, my friend, are going on a blind date."_

_"Alexx…" Eric fumed, clenching his fists._

_"Oh, Eric…" Alexx walked over and squeezed his arms understandingly as she cast a sideways glare at Speed, who was still laughing heartily. "It's just one night… one date. That's it," she reminded him. "Besides… What's the worst that could happen? If it doesn't work out, then you don't have to go out with her again. That's the beauty of blind dates, you know?"_

_Speed coughed and sputtered when he heard Alexx's words, earning him another glare from the coroner. Man, they were certainly going to be in for a surprise when they find out…_

_"So, what do you say, huh?" Alexx coaxed him again. "Why don't you humor Speed and see how it goes?"_

_Drawing in a deep, calming breath, Eric finally muttered, "Fine." Then, turning to Speed, he added, "But this isn't over between us, Speed. You're not gonna get away that easy."_

_"Oh, I doubt that," Speed smirked. "I am gonna get away with this because you'll be the one thanking me for this later… You'll see," he promised, a knowing grin on his face._

_"Yeah…" Eric nodded none-too-happily. "We'll see."_

_"Gentlemen…"_

_Their heads suddenly whipped around towards the direction of the voice, and they stood there in stunned silence as the familiar face of a tall red-head walked inside._

_"Alexx…" Horatio nodded, acknowledging her. "Is there a problem here, gentlemen?" he asked._

_"No, H," Speed replied quickly. "We were just, uh… setting up some personal things after shift tonight," Speed replied vaguely._

_Horatio nodded understandingly while looking at the ground. When he lifted his head to look at them again, he replied, "I understand that personal things are important, but right now, you are both still on the clock and we have a case to solve. So, let's get to work, shall we?" he asked, smiling slightly._

_"Right on, H," Eric quickly replied, saluting Horatio as he hurriedly walked out of the room, but not before he threw another glare into Speed's direction._

_"Alexx?" Horatio turned towards her, raising a questioning eyebrow._

_"I'll be right there, Horatio," Alexx replied, nodding at him knowingly._

_He smiled in kind and nodded at Speed before he turned to leave, knowing that Alexx needed to have a few words with the CSI. She waited until they were completely alone again before addressing Speed._

_"You're not sending Eric on a wild goose chase, are you?" she asked him seriously._

_"No way, Alexx… I've never been more serious in my life about this," Speed defended._

_Alexx merely nodded as if deciding whether to believe him, "Am I going to like this girl you're setting him up with?" she asked finally._

_Speed coughed uncomfortably again and did his best to answer vaguely once more, "Eurm… yeah… I think you're going to like Eric's date."_

_"Hmmm…" Alexx nodded in thought once again. "Is she pretty?"_

_"Alexx…" Speed sighed. "Did you really think that I would set him up with someone who wasn't good-looking?"_

_"Alright… Is she a good person, then?" she pressed._

_"Alexx, you have nothing to worry about," Speed reassured her without answering her question directly. "Eric's date has become one of my very good friends and is someone whom I trust entirely. Trust me when I say that Eric will be with the best company he'd ever been with tonight and that I have a very good feeling about this."_

_Taking in the sincerity in Speed's eyes, Alexx finally relented, "Okay, Speed. Let's just hope it works."_

_And Speed merely smiled as a promised thought came to mind, 'It'll work. I'll make it work… even if it's the last thing I do.'_

"So, that's how he set you up, huh?" Ryan asked, chuckling at Speed's deviousness.

"Yeah, he really was quite devious," Eric agreed.

"Did he tell you who to look for?" Ryan asked curiously.

Eric shook his head, "Nah… didn't even tell me her name. I had no clue what to expect."

Ryan shook his head disbelievingly and whistled, "So, no face, no name, and no clue… When was this?"

Eric leaned back on his palms and looked up at the sky, trying to recall the exact date of the blind set up, "Ummm… Let's see, now… That would be at least two years ago… on the first Monday of August," he replied.

Ryan drew in a sharp intake of breath as his heart began to pound uncontrollably in his chest. He cleared his throat and forced a steady voice as he asked the next two questions, "Did you go?"

Eric nodded without looking at him, "Reluctantly, but yeah… I went."

"And wh- where did you say you guys were s-supposed to meet?" he asked, trying but failing to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

Eric noticed and looked at him with a frown, "Club Space."

"Club Sp- Space?" Ryan sputtered as he swallowed thickly, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah, the one Downtown," Eric added, still frowning bewilderedly at Ryan's odd behavior. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ryan answered quickly, shaking his head as he turned to look away.

He was blushing furiously now, and he didn't want Eric to see what was happening to him. God! How could he have been so stupid? He really should be laughing about this, but he was already too embarrassed to even think about what he had just discovered in that way, too embarrassed to think about it…period.

But he knew that if Speed could see them right now, he would be shaking his head and laughing his scruffy ass off at…

"Ryan?" Eric now turned towards the younger man, a serious and worried expression on his face. "Ryan, look at me… What's going on? Did I say something wrong?"

-----

**TBC**

_**Let me know what you think. Reviews are much loved!**_

**A/N: **Oh, yeah… you can blame these plot penguins for the cliffhangers, too. I'm not the only one who's evil, you know? Ha-ha!

Sorry for the long update. As you can see, my chapters are fairly long, and my compulsive need to proofread, rewrite, and proofread again and again until I'm absolutely satisfied takes a lot time and effort.

Plus I've been going through something weird lately, where I haven't had the remotest desire to write at all… shame, I know. (ducks head in shame) But I'm feeling a bit better now, and I hope you guys enjoyed this next chapter! And yes, the next update will take a while as I recover from this 'weirdness'.


	5. Boys Gone Blind

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 5?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13 or T for language

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta-ed by: **Mistakes make me human…

**A/N: **Prepare for one upset and slightly buzzed Ryan Wolfe. You have been warned…

-----

Chapter 5 – Boys Gone Blind

_"Club Sp- Space?" Ryan sputtered as he swallowed thickly, unable to believe what he was hearing._

_"Yeah, the one Downtown," Eric added, still frowning bewilderedly at Ryan's odd behavior. "Why? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing," Ryan answered quickly, shaking his head as he turned to look away._

_"Ryan?" Eric now turned towards the younger man, a serious and worried expression on his face. "Ryan, look at me… What's going on? Did I say something wrong?"_

-----

He was about to ask another question when Ryan turned to look at him, trying to hide his emotions and what he had just discovered from his face. But his eyes were too damn expressive, and one look at them conveyed to Eric everything that he wanted to know…

_"No face… no name… no clue…"_

They stared at each other and it was as if they could simultaneously see the events playing an invisible reel in their minds' eye, vividly replaying the minutes of that questionable night.

Follow the evidence…

_Strobe lights._

_Loud music._

_Smoke._

_The Bar. Large. Round. And smack dab in the middle of the steaming dance floor._

_The smell of alcohol._

_Laughter._

_Chatter._

_Nervous energy._

_Beats thumping so powerfully, he could feel the vibrations in his chest._

_Bodies. Wild. Uninhibited._

_All in motion. Slithering… gyrating… rubbing against each other… except one._

_Close._

_Too close._

_Damn Speed for choosing this place!_

_He sat on a bar stool, occasionally sipping his drink, looking around in anxious anticipation for his mystery date. His eyes carefully scanned the people scattered around the bar, paying particularly close attention to each of the women who looked like they might've come alone, and he wondered if one of them was his 'contact,' or if his date hadn't shown up yet._

_He checked his watch for the 97th time: 7:08._

_Maybe his date was running late, he knew how women could be sometimes. No, scratch that, he knew how women could be most of the time… fashionably late, or so they say, like they're trying to impress and make a statement. He snorted at that and took a deep calming breath before taking another sip of his beer, telling himself to relax and just wait. Maybe he'd enjoy himself tonight if Speed did indeed take care of this setup properly, like he said he did._

_Patience is, after all, a virtue._

_Yep. An overrated virtue… just like punctuality. Well… at least in_ his _mind._

_7:18 pm. Still no sign of this mystery date, and he was beginning to get impatient, no…annoyed. It had been ten minutes since the last time he had checked his watch -- ten long, fucking minutes since he had resisted the urge to flick his wrist and just check his watch for the 98th time. Eighteen nerve-wracking minutes since they were supposed to meet at the bar, their rendezvous point, by seven-fucking-o'clock._

_Fashionab-fucking-ly late… yeah, right!_

_He rolled his eyes and drew in an irritated sigh as he took another swig of his drink. He seriously contemplated calling it a night and giving Speed a not-so-pleasant piece of his mind about stupid blind dates the next time he sees him, even as he ordered a second bottle to calm his nerves some more and didn't budge from his seat._

_The bartender handed him his second bottle, and he took another long swig. He really shouldn't be drinking like this… wouldn't want to be drunk or disoriented by the time his mystery date showed up and make a bumbling fool of himself. He needed to stay awake and in control, but all this waiting was making him even more anxious, not that he wasn't already too damn nervous to begin with._

_Despite his growing irritation, however, he found himself chuckling, the buzz from the alcohol beginning to take effect. When all else failed, he knew that he could always hold a brilliant conversation with himself in his head. Excellent company, he presumed. And free entertainment… for all its intents and purposes._

_He felt a slight vibration on his hip, and he was jolted out of his self-discourse. For a moment, he wasn't sure what had caused the tickling vibration on his side. Was it nerves? The alcohol? He was about to launch into another self-discourse when there it was again… another vibration. And it took him another second to look down at his hip and touch his side, his fingers finally brushing against a cool piece of silver._

_He chuckled in relief when he realized it was just his phone. Someone was trying to get in touch with him. Maybe it was his date? Maybe it was his job, calling him in to come back to work? Just what he needed right now. No, really… damn bastards!_

_Or maybe… Maybe…_

_"Wolfe," he finally answered._

_"Ryan! Where are you, man?" came Speed's voice, and Ryan swore he could hear amused laughter in them._

_Not funny._

_Not funny at all…_

_"Where the hell do you think I am?" came Ryan's irritated reply, almost shouting it over the noise._

_"Whoa! Calm down, Ryan. You don't gotta yell at me, you know?"_

_"I'm not yelling at you, Speed. It's loud in here, and I can barely hear myself think, let alone speak," Ryan explained huffily. "What do you want?" he almost growled… almost._

_"Damn, Ryan! If I'd known you'd get all pissy with me for interrupting your date…" but he was cut off before he could finish his teasing._

_"Date? What date?" Ryan asked incredulously, seething in his anger now._

_"What do you mean what date?" Speed asked, now beginning to get annoyed himself. "The one I set you up with! I was just calling to check how things are going."_

_"Well, it's not going, Speed, no thanks to you!" Ryan spat on the phone. He was clearly losing patience… fast, "I thought you set everything up?"_

_"I did!" Speed replied indignantly. "And what are you getting so upset about? Don't you like who I set you up with?"_

_"Well, gee whiz, Speed. Let me think…" he replied sarcastically. "Unless you set me up with an invisible person, then I'd say that the other half of this blind date is a fucking no show."_

_"What?" Speed asked, clearly surprised._

_"You heard me, man," Ryan replied, sounding tired all of a sudden. He could feel the temperamental rise and fall of his emotions as the alcohol coursed its way through his body, "Date's not here. So, where the hell is this person, Speed?" Ryan asked, his agitation rapidly returning again. "I don't see anyone who looks as… as…_ lost _as me."_

_"Well, what are you wearing?"_

_"What the hell do you think I'm wearing?"_

_Speed thought for a moment before a slight tinge of panic settled on him, "Wait… you're not wearing one of your sweater vests, are you?"_

_And Ryan had to smirk at that, "What's wrong with my sweater vests?" he teased, despite feeling aggravated. He heard Speed groan in embarrassment and start to complain, but then cut him off, "I'm kidding, okay? I'm not wearing a sweater vest. There! Are you happy?"_

_"You better not be lying to me, Ryan… at least not about your sweater vest," Speed warned._

_"Well, seeing as how this night is going nowhere fast, I might as well have worn it."_

_"Oh, don't you spite me like that, Ryan," Speed warned again. "And you still haven't answered my question. What are you wearing?"_

_"Why does it matter?"_

_"So I could tell your date what to look for," Speed replied in a "duh" kind of tone._

_"Oh… well…" he looked down to assess his 'club' attire before answering, " just a plain shirt and jeans."_

_"That's it? Nothing else?"_

_"No, Speed. Really, that's it… I decided to skip the underwear and come barefoot tonight. You know? Just let it all hang loose," Ryan replied, rolling his eyes._

_"Ew, over-share! But whatever, man… What color's your shirt?" Speed asked, ignoring his friend's sarcastic remark._

_Ryan sighed exasperatedly, "Blue."_

_"Royal blue? Sky blue? Turquoise blue?" Speed listed impatiently. "I need specifics here, Ryan."_

_Fighting down another smirk, Ryan asked, "Did you just say turquoise blue?"_

_"Shut up, and give me the damn color!" Speed barked exasperatedly._

_"Okay, alright!" Ryan backed off, his annoyance returning quickly. Speed could be so demanding and infuriating and trying and… and… "It's… blue. Dark… as in navy blue, I think."_

_"Alright, that's all I needed to know," Speed replied. "Let me do some checking and give hi- eurm… I'll give your date a call and find out their location," he said cryptically_

_"Fine," Ryan huffed. "Five more minutes, Speed," Ryan threatened none-too-happily. "That's all you have, and then I'm leaving."_

_"Alright, Ryan… geez!" Speed replied, backing off this time._

_And then suddenly…_

_"Excuse me?" he felt someone tap his shoulder, and Ryan turned, frowning up at the man who had interrupted his phone call, "Do you have the time?" the other man asked, pointing at his naked tanned wrist, even as an apologetic look passed over his features at having interrupted his phone call._

_Ryan's eyes narrowed and then widened slightly when he recognized who had interrupted him, before his eyes followed the man's movements, trying to make sense of his hand gesture._

_On the phone, Speed began to worry that his friend hadn't said anything to him in a while, "Ryan? You still there?"_

_"Yeah… hang on," Ryan finally spoke on the phone. Then, looking down at his own watch, he answered the other man, "Uh… 7:24."_

_"Shit! I'm really late!" he muttered. Then turning to Ryan, he nodded, "Thanks, man," before turning hastily to head towards the other side of the bar, obviously looking for someone._

_"Ryan?" Speed called again._

_"Yeah…" Ryan replied tiredly as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm still here."_

_"What was that about?" Speed asked curiously._

_Ryan sighed, "Nothing… just some dude asking what time it is," he replied indifferently, not bothering to give Speed specifics about Eric being there, even as his eyes unconsciously followed the CSI lurking around the bar area._

_He watched as the Cuban picked up his own cell phone and attempted to make several calls, all unsuccessful as far as he could tell, before he gave up and decided to sit down on the other side of the bar, almost directly across from where Ryan had perched himself, and ordered himself a drink before giving him another nod._

_He had obviously thought nothing of having just seen Speed's colleague there… in the_ same _club, sitting in the_ same _bar, and running late, no less. He shrugged and tried to focus on what his friend was telling him over the phone._

_"…out what's going on. Okay, buddy? Just… hold on, okay?" Speed pleaded trying his best to pacify his irate friend. "Don't go anywhere until I call you."_

_"I'm not making any promises," Ryan replied sternly. "Five minutes."_

_"Alright, alright, I'm on it," Speed promised quickly. "Just stay put, and don't do anything…rash." He heard Ryan snort at that, and he added, "Oh, and Ryan?"_

_"What?" came his exasperated reply._

_Speed smirked, "Try not to look so lost either."_

_And with that, he hung up before Ryan could spit back a retort._

Connect the dots…

_Eric was running late._

_Eric was running_ really _late…_

_He had planned on being at Club Space at least ten minutes early so that he could scout out anyone who might've been lurking around the bar, looking for their blind date. He had gone home immediately to get ready for the anticipated encounter as soon as his shift had ended, thankful that he and Speed were able to solve their case and complete their paperwork before shift was over._

_But then his sister had called unexpectedly. She hadn't been feeling well, he knew, and she had gone to the doctor for her mandatory tests and checkup late that afternoon. It was 6:30, and he was just about to walk out the door and drive the twenty-minute drive it took to head down to Club Space in Downtown Miami, when he got the call from Marisol._

_She needed him to come and pick her up from the hospital because the drug they had given her to help alleviate her nausea also caused her to become dizzy and sleepy. Consequently, she was unable to drive herself back to her place._

_And so, Eric drove to the hospital to pick up his sister, took her back to her place and made sure to deposit her properly on her bed before he left, and then drove speedily back down to Club Space, all the while knowing that he was running extremely late, and hoping against hope that his mystery date hadn't given up yet and decided to abandoned him._

_He was nervous, and he didn't know why. It wasn't like he hadn't been on countless dates before. But somehow this one had felt different, unique. Maybe it was the fact that this was the first blind date that Speed had ever set up for him that was making him slightly giddy and definitely nervous._

_No, scratch that… maybe it_ was _the fact that it was Speed who had set it up._

_Or maybe it was the fact that Speed had said that he had 'found someone who would be so perfect' for him._

_He wasn't sure whether to trust Speed and his underhanded ways about this whole antic or to be completely suspicious because of it. But one thing he could be sure of, however, was this: he could always count on Speed to be devious, especially when it came to setting up his friend._

_Yeah… trust Speed to be one scheming and conniving son of a gun._

_He reached the club, parked quickly, and then rushed up to the bar, his eyes swiftly scanning the plethora of women lurking around the area. None of them, however, looked like they were waiting for someone; none of them looked like they had come alone… except for one…_

_And he wasn't even a woman._

_Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the gentleman with dark hair and dark attire, sitting alone at the bar, and casually tapped him on the shoulder._

_"Excuse me?" he said as he waited for the dark-haired man to acknowledge him._

_It wasn't until the other man had turned around and frowned up at him that he realized that he had been talking to someone on his phone and that he might've just rudely interrupted what looked to be a heated conversation, judging from the younger man's facial expression._

_"Do you have the time?" he asked quickly, pointing and tapping his index finger on his bare wrist._

_For a moment, the younger man seemed to just stare at him. But then something passed between them, something unexplained – a swift look of recognition, like a flash of lightning, and Eric could've sworn that the man before him looked familiar, that he'd seen him somewhere else before._

_"Yeah… hang on," he heard the younger man say on the phone before looking down at his own watch and answering, "Uh… 7:24."_

_"Shit! I'm really late!" Eric muttered before turning back to the other man and nodding, "Thanks, man."_

_And with that, he turned on his heels and headed towards the other side of the bar, casually but carefully looking out for his mystery date. Deciding, however, that he didn't even know who to look for as Speed had stubbornly refused to give him any more details about this person's physical appearance, he grabbed his phone and dialed Speed's number, only to be connected directly to his voicemail._

_He tried several more times, but kept getting the same result. Frustrated, he finally gave up, seeing as his phone was already running dangerously low on battery and would more than likely die any minute now. He took one of the empty seats in the bar and ordered himself a drink, noticing that he was now sitting across from the younger man he had previously interrupted. And once again, he nodded slightly at him in acknowledgement before scanning the crowds for his possible mystery date once again._

_A few minutes later, he felt his phone vibrating on his hip, and he quickly answered it, "Delko."_

_"Eric!" came Speed's frantic but relieved voice._

_He heard his phone beep several times, indicating that his cell phone was losing its power fast, and he silently prayed that it would last long enough for him to find out whom he needed to meet._

_"Speed! Man! Am I glad to hear from you!" Eric answered quickly._

_"Eric, where the hell are you at man?" his phone beeped faster this time as Speed was asking his question, and he knew that his phone was on its last leg._

_Damn! They really needed to hurry this conversation up._

_"I'm at the…" just then, his phone died, and he couldn't contain the frustration that came out of his voice, "Fuck!"_

_This night just can't seem to get any better. This was all Speed's fault, he told himself. If he hadn't been so damn obstinate about not giving away any information about his mystery date, then he would've known exactly who to look for. Instead, he's sitting there alone at the bar, running late as it was, when he could've been having a great time right now, if only he knew which of these girls was the one he had been set up with._

_He smirked unconsciously as his eyes landed on the lone figure sitting across from him, noticing that he was once again talking on his phone, an agitated look on his face. Maybe he was looking for his date, too. He looked like he was waiting for someone. Actually, he looked a bit uncomfortable and out of place. Maybe he got stood up?_

_'Wait a minute…' he thought dismally. 'Maybe this girl had already left. But what if she never showed up at all? Maybe_ I'm _the one getting stood up.'_

_He shook his head at the thought and decided to wait a little longer. He figured that it wasn't totally his fault if this blind date didn't work out as well as Speed had hoped. Unforeseen and uncontrolled circumstances just came up all of a sudden, and he couldn't entirely help the fact that he was delayed._

_Besides, it would've been much more convenient had Speed just given him all the information he needed. But then this wouldn't have been much of a blind date if he knew everything about the other person, now, would it? Damn Speed and his crazy matchmaking ideas! He really should give his friend a piece of his mind when he sees him at work again the next morning._

_And damn his useless cell phone for dying at the most inconvenient times, too!_

_'Not my fault,' Eric thought again, if only to avoid the guilt and to make himself feel better. 'I won't be blamed for why this whole escapade failed.'_

_Yeah… definitely Speed's fault._

_Half an hour later, he and the same young man he had interrupted earlier were still sitting alone at the bar, and not a single woman had come up to either one of them to ask if they were each other's blind date. That did not mean, however, that they didn't get hit on by several beautiful women, all flirty and friendly and more than willing to be their so-called blind dates for the evening, if only they'd go out with them and abandon their futile search._

_Recalling his last conversation with Speed, however, and how the CSI was extremely apologetic for failing to get a hold of his date but encouraging him, nonetheless, to stay a while and to "look for someone familiar," claiming as much that he had set his friend up with someone whom he 'knew' the younger man was supposedly attracted to, Ryan politely but adamantly refused each of their unwanted advances, stating that he had come there for one purpose, and one purpose only – to meet his blind date._

_And despite his previous threat to abandon this poorly planned and poorly executed catastrophe of a date, Ryan stayed another hour after his last conversation with Speed to see if this mystery person would eventually show up. He glanced down at his watch again and sighed heavily. It was now 8:30 pm, ninety minutes past their supposed meeting time at the bar, and his patience had definitely worn out._

_He looked up and saw the Cuban finally give up as well, relenting to a very persistent and very skinny redhead in a very skimpy outfit, who had come to seduce him repeatedly, and allowed her to drag him towards the dance floor. He tore his gaze away, feeling his stomach lurch as a strange surge of something unexplained swelled within his chest._

_He stubbornly quashed the feeling, ignoring the possibility that the Cuban might just be…_

_No! He shook his head quickly, not wanting to dwell nor entertain those thoughts. There was no way Speed could've known what he had thought fleetingly about the other CSI, could he? Besides, Ryan hadn't given him any indication at all that he had found the Cuban to be physically attractive, at least as far as he could tell. This was just a coincidence, he told himself resolutely._

_This was_ not _the blind date that Speed had in mind._

_No… definitely not._

_He looked around once more, somehow hoping against hope that the right person would miraculously show up. But when no one came, he sighed dejectedly as if in defeat. He downed the last of his third beer, paid for his tab, and got up to leave, muttering to himself that that was the absolute last time he'd ever let Speed set him up on a stupid,_ stupid _blind date. He vowed to get even with his wannabe matchmaker and to give him a piece of his mind first thing tomorrow after shift._

_He left without a second glance back at the bar, went home, shut off his phone, showered, and then crawled under the covers. He closed his eyes, and before his head could even hit the pillow, he had already fallen fast asleep, the alcohol and fatigue finally overtaking him and shutting down his mind for the rest of the uneventful but disastrous evening._

_As promised, the next day, both men did confront a very apologetic and sheepish-looking Speed, complaining that the entire night had been a disaster, not to mention a complete waste of time. Speed, of course, played it cool and did his best to pacify his two friends, promising to make things right for them, even as he laughed heartily at the strange looks they had given him when they told him what had happened the previous night._

_The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him, of course, as he couldn't believe how truly blind his two friends really were. He supposed that as much as the setup had failed, their night really did turn out to be a hell of a blind date after all, as they were both too blind to see who their dates were supposed to be, too blind too realize that they had been sitting right across from their respective dates all along and during the entire night, no less._

_And despite their adamant reluctance to give in, Speed still managed (albeit barely) to convince both of his friends to give it another shot, and that this time, he would make good on his promise to "hook them up" properly. Grudgingly and not without threats to do him some bodily harm should there be another repeat of the aforementioned evening, both men acquiesced and decided to indulge Speed for the last time._

Only, that last time never came to pass…

Life got too busy and too hectic for either one of them to find the free time to venture into another blind date, and Speed wasn't having any luck setting them up either. They were being pulled into so many different directions… so much so that it seemed like some unknown force was trying to prevent them from meeting and coming together at that particular time in their lives.

One month later, Speed was violently ripped away from his friends when he was suddenly killed by a single gunshot wound to the chest. Ironically, his death had brought his two anonymous friends together in the same place – his funeral.

And eventually, though not through the best of circumstances and certainly, though not what Speed would've wanted nor planned all along for months beforehand – the lab.

He never was able to make his clueless friends see that they were perfect for each other. He never got another chance to set them up properly and make them understand that they belonged together while he was still alive. His death had taken away all of that.

And Speed never got a chance to fulfill his promise to Eric and Ryan.

Until now…

_"No face… no name… no…clue?"_

And then draw conclusions…

"Oh, my God…" Eric gasped in stunned realization, his wide, shocked eyes settling disbelievingly on Ryan.

And Ryan tore his gaze away and buried his face in his hands as soon as he saw realization dawn on the Cuban's face, saw the truth flash before his eyes.

"_Holy shit!" _Eric thought incredulously as he stared at Ryan. "That was _you_?"

-----

**TBC **

_**Let me know what you think. Reviews are much loved!**_

**A/N: **Mwahahahaha! That's all for now, folks! I really hate to cut this chapter here and leave you guys hanging (again…sorry!), but I've reached the point of exhaustion. No worries, though… our fav boys' night at the beach isn't over yet, and there will be more developments to come sometime soon (I hope). This story has definitely grown in length, and I've got to tame it somehow or else I'd never finish it, and you'd never get to read the _really _good stuff I have planned in later chapters either, hehehe! Complications are definitely the work of some pretty feisty and rabid plot penguins.

Oh, yeah… I've never been inside Club Space, so I'm not familiar with the layout of the place. But for the purposes of this story, I made up the whole bar area, where Eric and Ryan were supposed to meet.


	6. Winking In Hushed Conspiracy

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 6?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta: **Mistakes make me human…

**A/N: **AU after Driven. Yeah, okay… I know it's been forever since I last updated. --hangs head in shame-- Stupid writer's block! Do you guys even remember this story at all? At any rate, here's the next chapter (probably one of my least favorite chapters in the story, but it's something that "needed" to be covered for continuity and realism). Again, my apologies for the long delay. You guys forgive me, right? --puppy eyes--

-----

Chapter 6 – Winking In Hushed Conspiracy

_Stolen moments time has broken  
My eyes are open to this life-long mystery  
And so I'll go with what I know  
Take my chances and run with destiny_

-----

_And Speed never got a chance to fulfill his promise to Eric and Ryan._

_Until now…_

_'No face… no name… no…clue?'_

_And then draw conclusions…_

_"Oh, my God…" Eric gasped in stunned realization, his wide, shocked eyes settling disbelievingly on Ryan._

_And Ryan tore his gaze away and buried his face in his hands as soon as he saw realization dawn on the Cuban's face, saw the truth flash before his eyes._

_'Holy shit!' Eric thought incredulously as he stared at Ryan. "That was you?"_

-----

"That was _you_?" Eric's voice sounded incredulous and something else entirely that Ryan couldn't quite figure out when he had asked him the dreaded question a second time.

He could only look away and bury his face in his hands, shaking his head in dismay and disbelief. How could Speed do this to him? But more importantly, how the hell did Speed know about his secret attraction to the Cuban?

Great! Now, Eric's going to think that he's a freak and wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore… and just when he thought that things were starting to get better between them. He wasn't even counting on the Cuban to return his feelings for Pete's sake! Really, he just wanted his friendship at the very least. But now, that might've just been ruined by this newest revelation, and he might as well prepare for the inevitable embarrassment and possible ridicule he might have to endure because he couldn't help whom he fell in love with.

Great.

Wonderful.

Just fan-fucking-tastic!

He made the decision right there and then that he wasn't going to be the object of Eric's shock and ridicule. No, he couldn't take that. Not now. And not from him, most of all.

Without another word and certainly without daring to meet the Cuban's eyes anymore, he stood up abruptly and hastily strode away from the other man. He could feel his face growing red with anger and embarrassment, his eyes sinking back with fathomless regret as he desperately tried to dam up his roaring emotions, his tears not far behind.

He didn't know where he was going, but he certainly didn't care at that moment. All he wanted to do was to get away from Eric as quickly as possible, to expand the distance between them even more, like the footprints that he was currently leaving behind as he stomped on the sand with determined steps, and to pretend that this night never _ever_ happened.

As he quickened his pace on the soft earth, he realized that he didn't have his car with him to escape since Eric had taken him to dinner, and he had left his car back at the lab. Frustrated, he shook his head, muttering a series of incoherent expletives before reaching for his phone, flipping it on, and dialing for a cab to take him away… far away from Eric and this night that he'd rather forget.

He was so angry and hurt that he could barely breathe, his lungs constricting painfully as his heart drummed up inside his chest. He feared that he'd fall apart if he didn't put some immediate and immense distance between them really soon.

He had barely finished saying "hello" into his phone when he suddenly felt the sensation of being whirled around forcefully, a strong hand on his arm stubbornly restraining him and pulling him into its owner until he had crashed none-too-gracefully onto a strong chest, the other hand, now grabbing his other arm as well, holding him up and firmly in place.

Ryan barely had time to look up as he collided with the muscled chest. He opened his mouth, about to curse at the son of a bitch who had dared stop him, when he unexpectedly felt a pair of warm, soft lips crashing down onto his own, firm and insistent and pleading for understanding, for a few moments to explain.

The phone slipped out of his hands, dropping onto the sand, and lying there forgotten… for now.

The lips beseeched him to stay, even as it devoured every ounce of angry breath within him, stilling him with shock, and draining him of all the tension he had felt when he had marched off without a word. And he kissed him… he kissed him until Ryan felt himself melting into the deepening kiss, and soon, he was kissing its owner back with equal intensity, leaving him with nothing but soft whimpers as he gulped in ragged breaths.

"Did you know?" Eric now asked when they finally separated, resting his forehead against Ryan's as they panted for air.

For a brief moment, Ryan could only shake his head in response. But when he had caught his breath enough, he pulled away to look into the Cuban's eyes, searching for something he wasn't entirely sure of.

Certainty? Assurance that this wasn't just a cruel joke at his expense? He didn't exactly know, but for once, he braved a response, despite of his insecurities.

"No… not really," he managed to stammer out. "I mean… I… I didn't know. But the thought did cross my mind while I was waiting," he finally confessed, feeling sheepish all of a sudden.

He closed his eyes and looked down once more, avoiding Eric's gaze. He could feel the blood rushing to his face, and he felt that if Eric didn't say something soon that he would either surely die of embarrassment right then and there or he would take off running once again to avoid humiliation.

"Did you?" he finally managed to ask, still looking down.

He felt Eric's fingers lift up his chin gently, forcing him to meet his eyes, and he was surprised to find warmth there and a faint glimmer of remembrance as a small smile settled on the older man's lips.

"No…" Eric replied softly. "But it did cross my mind too," Eric confessed as well.

Shock registered in Ryan's eyes until Eric leaned down and captured his mouth once more, reassuring him that he was indeed telling the truth and that there was no need to be embarrassed now that they know what their mutual friend, Speed, had secretly but purposefully done to try to get them together.

And for the space of that moment, the doubt and the fear that had Ryan leaving in a hurried and angered mess before was now instantly drowned out by the sound of lips and tongue colliding before the crashing waves, watched by the billions of stars winking in hushed conspiracy under the dimly lit spotlight of the half-moon.

---

"So… Ryan and Speed were friends?" an incredulous and shocked Alexx Woods asked the next day in the morgue after she had finally cornered Eric on what had been going on between him and her 'baby.'

Eric nodded, "Yeah… they were."

She fell silent, as if piecing together the information she had just received and her interaction with Ryan for the last year and a half or so, trying to make sense of some of the things the young man had said to her when she was first giving him the cold shoulder when he had started as a CSI.

She distinctly remembered something that Speed had told her as they were working a particularly hard case. She had been in the morgue, working on the body of yet another young victim, a young girl this time, whose life had been taken way too early, and Alexx's motherly instincts had kicked in.

Speed had been there when she very nearly lost it, and he'd told her something that at that time, didn't make any sense to her, but looking back, and with the information she had just received from Eric, now made perfect sense.

_They were standing in the morgue, working a case of a young girl, who was found dead in a playground near her home._

"_It'll be alright, Alexx," Speed said, hugging Alexx as she sobbed softly in his arms._

"_I know, Timmy…" Alexx sniffled. "It's just that… baby girl was so young. She didn't deserve this."_

"_None of them do," Speed agreed. "But that's why we're here… to find out what happened and who did this and to bring her justice."_

_Pulling away slightly, Alexx wiped her tears away and composed herself before meeting Speed's eyes, "Thanks, Timmy. You always know what to say," she replied, smiling weakly._

"_Hey, that's what I'm here for," he teased, smiling cockily._

_Rolling her eyes while chuckling, she replied, "Leave it to you to put a cocky spin on a tender moment."_

"_Of course!" he agreed, still wearing that same arrogant smirk. _

_Alexx merely shook her head at his response before turning to work on the young girl's body again._

_Sensing her still-apparent distress and her maternal urge to care for others, Speed thought that this might just be the prime moment to bring up the topic of his 'new' and secret friend._

"_Hey, Alexx?" he began carefully._

"_Hmmm?"_

"_How would you like to have another friend who could use some, uh… mothering?" Speed queried teasingly._

_Alexx stopped what she was doing to give Speed a questioning frown, "What do you mean, Timmy?"_

"_I'm just saying that you're the type of person who cares a lot about people, and I know someone who could use a person like you in their life," Speed explained evasively._

_Suspiciously, Alexx asked, "Now, Timmy… What do you have up your sleeve?"_

_But Speed merely smirked, "Nothing! I just thought you could use a new friend, you know? A new 'baby,' if you will, to take care of."_

"_Why would I need a new friend when I've got you?" Alexx now asked, confused. "Besides, I already have Horatio, Calleigh, Eric, and some of the lab techs as friends, so why would I need someone new?" As if realizing her question all of a sudden, Alexx stared at Speed for a moment, her hands firmly settling on her hips, "Wait a minute… You're not planning on leaving us, are you, Timmy?"_

"_No, Alexx… of course not!" Speed only laughed. "I'm not planning to leave you or anybody at all. Really, you have nothing to worry about. Believe me, I'm not going anywhere," he said, pacifying her. "Knowing you and how good you are to me, I just thought that you could do the same with my new friend, who, by the way, is in desperate need of mothering," he explained, trying to butter her up. "Plus, we could all use another friend around here, a fresh face if you will," he added, smirking yet again._

"_We?" Alexx asked, raising a curious eyebrow at him._

"_Yes, 'we,' as in all of us… including H, Cal, and Eric," Speed clarified._

_Alexx shook her head and turned her attention back to her autopsy, "I don't know, Timmy. I'm still not convinced."_

_At this, Speed sided up next to her, put his arm around her shoulders, and gave her a light squeeze, "Come on, Alexx," he coaxed gently. "Just give him a chance, will you?"_

"_So, it's a him, is it?" she teased, trying to hold down her own smirk this time._

"_Yes, Alexx, he's a young guy, and I'm sure you'll love him," Speed encouraged, adding, "Besides, you could always use another person to 'baby' around here."_

_Sighing in resignation, Alexx answered, "Alright, Timmy… fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have another friend. So, when do I meet this new friend of yours?"_

"_Ah! That, my dear coroner, is something that I'm currently working on," Speed answered evasively. "You'll meet him when everyone else does, but yeah… if everything goes according to my plan, then you'll meet him soon enough, and you'll love him too," he winked teasingly. "I promise."_

_She was about to ask him another question, but just then, Speed's phone went off, cutting their conversation short, and thereby preventing Alexx from finding out more information from Speed about his 'new friend.'_

_"I gotta go, Alexx. They found something in Trace, and it could just be the lead we need to crack this case. But I'll catch you later, okay?" he asked, before turning to leave._

"_Sure, baby, go ahead," Alexx replied, smiling faintly. "You know where to find me."_

_With a nod, Speed turned his back and left._

Looking back now, Alexx had thought about asking Speed about his new friend again, but it totally slipped from her mind, and she never once thought to bring it up anymore, since Speed never did either.

Still trying to piece that memory with her current knowledge about Ryan, Alexx thought back to the time when she first had to work with him at a crime scene. It happened in a home where an infamous athlete was murdered, while the jury, who was deciding his fate, was 'investigating' his home, looking for any evidence of his guilt.

That was also the time when she remembered telling Ryan that she didn't need any new friends, but it was also the first time when she did give him a chance to prove himself, and, thereafter, began to warm up to him after being surprisingly impressed by his keen eye and deductive reasoning.

_Ryan: Knife missing from this block could be our murder weapon. _

_Alexx: sarcastically Nice work, Ryan. Think you may have cracked the case. _

_Ryan: Thanks, I…have a keen grasp for the obvious. Look… I know you and Tim Speedle were close. I know this was Speedle's case. I'm not trying to replace him. _

_Alexx: still coldly Good. 'Cause I don't need any new friends. _

_Ryan: All I want is to do a good job. _

_Alexx: Okay. Tell me what you see._

_Ryan: kneels down next to the body _

_Alexx: You can touch him, honey. He's not going to bite. _

_Ryan: touches the body Single blow to the head. No defensive wounds on his hands or arms…means no struggle. _

_Alexx: Good. What else? _

_Ryan: We probably won't find the victim's blood on our killer. _

_Alexx: And why is that? _

_Ryan: No liquid blood at the time of impact. No second hit… so, no splatter. _

_Alexx: impressed Well, look at you go. _

Now, as she began to connect all the dots in her head, she realized that, in her grief over Speed's untimely death, she failed to see who her 'baby' really was – Ryan Wolfe was the friend Speed had been talking about all along.

"Did Horatio know?" she asked curiously now.

"Yeah…" Eric responded, even while he was still trying to consider the question. "Yeah, I think so. Though, I'm not sure how long he'd known about this. But he was the one who told me to go talk to Ryan about the photograph."

"And what about Calleigh?" Alexx now asked. "Did she know, too?"

Alexx had barely finished asking the question when the door to the morgue suddenly swung open and in walked a cheerful-looking Calleigh Duquesne, "Did I know about what?" she asked, looking back and forth between the coroner and the CSI.

Eric groaned in frustration and buried his face in his hands. He really didn't want to have to explain himself all over again, but when he finally dared to look up, he saw that both women were still looking at him expectantly. And it looked as if they weren't going to let him get back to work until he had explained things to Calleigh, too.

Where the hell was H when he needed him?

"Well?" Alexx asked again, this time putting a hand on her hip as Calleigh crossed her arms suspiciously, the smile on her face now replaced by a curious frown.

"I don't know, Alexx. I mean, I don't think so… you're the first one I told this about," Eric finally groaned out an explanation.

"Okay… I'm absolutely lost and curious," Calleigh piped up. "What did I miss? And what are we talking about here?"

"Ryan," Eric and Alexx both answered at the same time.

"Ryan?" Calleigh asked, more confused now than ever. "What about Ryan? Is he okay? Where is he? What's going on?"

"Whoa, Calleigh…" Eric replied, holding both hands up to stop the barrage of questions firing rapidly from the petite blonde. "Easy with the questions there, okay? Ryan's fine."

"So, what's going on then?" she pressed.

Eric looked exasperated and turned a pleading look towards Alexx. But the coroner merely shrugged, prompting Eric to take another exasperated breath, before looking at Calleigh and launching into another recap of his discoveries about their youngest CSI and their deceased colleague.

When he was done explaining his 'discoveries' for the second time that morning (conveniently leaving out the part where he had kissed Ryan on the beach, of course), he couldn't help but laugh at the still shell-shocked expressions on both of the women's faces.

"Wow!" was all a thunderstruck Calleigh could say, while Alexx could still only nod in stunned agreement.

"Listen…" Eric began once more as both women continued to stare at him in shocked silence. "Ryan doesn't know that I told you guys anything, and the last thing he wants is for everyone in the lab to know about him being friends with Speed. So, I'd appreciate it if you ladies wouldn't say anything about this to him or to anyone else, okay?"

"Sure, honey," Alexx replied in understanding. "It would be tough not to talk about this with Ryan, but I won't say anything."

"Calleigh?" Eric now turned towards the blonde, who has a penchant for gossip.

"Scout's honor," Calleigh replied with a teasing smile as she gestured with her right hand. "I promise I won't say anything to Ryan or to anyone else."

Sighing in relief, Eric added, "Thank you… both of you. And please don't treat Ryan any differently now that you know the truth. I don't want him suspecting that you guys know or that I told you about him."

And with that, Eric turned to leave the morgue, relieved that both women had promised to keep the information he had given them under the table, and smiling blissfully to himself as he recalled the kiss he had so passionately shared with Ryan.

-----

**TBC**

_**Let me know what you think. Remember… Reviews feed my emaciated plot penguins.**_

_**So, please… be kind and feed the penguins!**_

**A/N: **I know, I know… I left you hanging again, and I'm terribly sorry. head desk I had a really hard time completing this chapter, other than the fact that I've been insanely busy. I'm slowly getting back into the groove of things, and well, the more I write the longer this story seems to get. Grrr! I know that this wasn't a terribly exciting chapter, except for the kiss on the beach, but I had to cut out what I had originally planned on including because this would get rather long. I've already started work on the next chapter, which I'm rather excited about, as it will address some of the questions you guys might have had about Ryan's dream way back in the beginning of this fic. Hopefully, updating the next one won't take nearly as long.

**ETA: **I do not own the script for the "Hell Night" dialogue between Alexx and Ryan. Credit for this S3 episode dialogue belongs to the talented writers of CSI: Miami. You guys rock! Lyrics in the beginning of the chapter were taken from Gerri Halliwell's song: "Mi Chico Latino."


	7. Footprints Of A Silent Promise

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 7? ****  
****Author:** Shadowfax27  
**Fandom:** CSI: Miami  
**Pairing:** Eric/Ryan  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** Me no own. You no sue. Okay?  
**Beta:** Mistakes make me human…

-----

Chapter 7 – Footprints Of A Silent Promise

_Take me back to my sweet la vida __  
__Find my love, my dolce vida __  
__Show me where I need to go __  
__Donde esta, mi chico latino?_

-----

_Sighing in relief, Eric added, "Thank you… both of you. And please don't treat Ryan any differently now that you know the truth. I don't want him suspecting that you guys know or that I told you about him." _

_And with that, Eric turned to leave the morgue, relieved that both women had promised to keep the information he had given them under the table, and smiling blissfully to himself as he recalled the kiss he had so passionately shared with Ryan. __  
_  
-----

As expected and certainly out of respect for Eric's wishes and Ryan's desire to be recognized on his own apart from Speed's memory and friendship, neither woman confronted Ryan about the truth they now know, nor did they tell anyone else about it. Instead, they did their best to act as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, much to the relief of Eric.

And true to his form, Ryan went to work and went on about his daily business, completely oblivious to the fact that his secret was finally out – his team already knew the truth about his friendship with Speed.

And in the days that passed after their initial confrontation and beachside confession, Eric and Ryan's relationship inside and outside of work improved steadily and seemed to be on the mend, much to the delight of Alexx, Calleigh, and Horatio, and the relief of the rest of the lab.

And even though neither man attempted to broach that sensitive subject of 'should they?' or 'shouldn't they?' get together, both carefully dancing around the issue, even as their feelings for each other had obviously been rekindled again and had now grown into a full fledged flame, neither man also dared to forget that night at the beach, where implied and unspoken promises were exchanged under the half-lit moonlight, each holding onto the very real possibility of having something more between them… one day.

---

_"Did you?" Ryan finally managed to ask, still looking down. _

_He felt Eric's fingers lift up his chin gently, forcing him to meet his eyes, and he was surprised to find warmth there and a faint glimmer of remembrance as a small smile settled on the older man's lips. _

_"No…" Eric replied softly. "But it did cross my mind too," Eric confessed as well. _

_Shock registered in Ryan's eyes until Eric leaned down and captured his mouth once more, reassuring him that he was indeed telling the truth and that there was no need to be embarrassed now that they know what their mutual friend, Speed, had secretly but purposefully done to try to get them together. _

_And for the space of that moment, the doubt and the fear that had Ryan leaving in a hurried and angered mess before was now instantly drowned out by the sound of lips and tongue colliding before the crashing waves, watched by the billions of stars winking in hushed conspiracy under the dimly lit spotlight of the half-moon. _

_By the time Eric had reluctantly released Ryan's mouth to refill his lungs with much needed air, he could feel an unusual swelling in his chest as he found himself immediately missing the taste of Ryan's kiss. Keeping his eyes closed, he leaned his forehead against the shorter man, and even without looking, he could sense the blush creeping up on Ryan's face and the shy smirk that was now tugging on his lips. _

_"What do we do now?" Eric found himself asking softly before he could stop himself. _

_"I don't know," came Ryan's whispered reply. _

_Pulling his head back to look deeply into Ryan's green depths, Eric quietly asked, "What do you want from me?" _

_For a brief moment, Ryan was caught slightly off guard by the gentle, yet brutally straightforward inquiry, and he could only blink in response as his smirk faded. He recovered quickly, however, and took the time to gaze back at the lapping waters near their feet, thinking over the question carefully, before answering. _

_"Ryan…" he heard the Cuban call his name, and he turned his head to meet his eyes. "Tell me what you want from me," Eric asked him again, still with that gentle urgency in his voice. _

_"I want to think," Ryan responded simply, delicately. "I need to think…" he paused before adding, "And I need you to give me time." _

_Giving Ryan a nod and an understanding smile despite his evident disappointment, Eric replied, "Okay." _

_He could see clearly the relief in Ryan's eyes as he said this, and he found himself cupping his face for the first time, marveling at how truly beautiful this younger man really was. _

_"Eric…" he heard Ryan whisper his name like a plea to his lips. _

_And Eric leaned in and answered that plea with a most tender kiss, letting Ryan know that he was willing to give him the time he needed to think about the current and future state of their relationship. _

_He wanted Ryan to know that he was willingly giving up his control, which was definitely not an easy feat for him to do. And he was letting Ryan have the reins in determining what would become of their affair, even though he desperately hoped that he would choose to give him and their relationship a fighting chance at becoming tangible and something so much more. _

_"Ryan…" Eric breathed against his lips after he had kissed him for the last time that evening. "I'll be here… Take your time." _

_And with that promise, both men left the beach together, smiling shyly to themselves as they clung to the feel and the memory of their first shared kiss, and leaving footprints of possibility behind them on the sand. __  
_  
---

That first week came to an end, and by the following Monday, Eric had noticed a considerable change in Ryan all of a sudden. At first, he thought that perhaps the young man just didn't get enough sleep or maybe he just hadn't been feeling well. Ryan had been unusually quiet, and he seemed to have a faraway look on his face whenever there was a lull in his work, which wasn't often, all things considered.

It wasn't that Ryan couldn't seem to focus on his job. On the contrary, he tried to keep himself busy with anything and everything, and Eric was beginning to think that perhaps Ryan was trying to keep himself occupied so that he wouldn't have time to think about something… but what, he had no clue.

Did Ryan not want to think about him?

Did he regret what happened that fateful night at the beach?

Did he finally decide that he would be better off on the other side of the fence?

Was Ryan pretending that that night never happened?

Was he thinking that perhaps they were better off ignoring their feelings?

Did he want to return to the way things were between them?

And what about their kiss?

Did he decide that he wanted to forget about that too?

Shaking his head at this barrage of questions, Eric took in a labored breath and tried to quash the gnawing feeling of helplessness, confusion, and impending loss. He didn't want to over-analyze this new development in his relationship with Ryan, assigning meaning where there was none.

Still, he couldn't help but become nervous at the thought that Ryan might decide that he would be better off without him, opting to keep things strictly professional between them.

No.

Eric did not even want to entertain that idea… certainly not after that impassioned kiss.

But he would be lying to himself if he were to declare out loud that the thought didn't scare him in the least. Because as much as Eric would like to think that he was always in control of his relationships, he certainly didn't want to think that he had already lost hope and control of this one, that he had already lost Ryan before he could even have a chance to have him.

Nonetheless, Eric figured that perhaps Ryan was just having a bad week, and he was more than willing to give him the benefit of a doubt. And so, he let Ryan's odd behavior go for now, choosing to keep his mouth shut about his observations regarding the young CSI's uncharacteristic behavior, while hoping that things would go back to 'normal' the following week.

They didn't.

And by the following Monday, a full two weeks after their initial confrontation in Ryan's home, Eric sensed that something was definitely amiss… and it worried him that the younger man might just be slipping away from him.

As each day passed, Ryan had begun to steadily look… depressed? If he had been at least focused while on the clock that first week that he appeared to act strangely, well… things have now taken an uncanny turn for the worse. Ryan now seemed really distracted, distant, and vacant even – the ever-darkening circles around his eyes evidenced his troubled and sleepless nights.

Sure, he was still productive at work and managed, amazingly, to do his job well without messing up or compromising anything. But one would have had to be blind to not notice that contrary to the confident gait he used to stride in, he now walked on in disturbing silence, much like a cracked and emptying eggshell of a man on the verge of shattering.

But what worried Eric even more was the fact that Ryan had begun to carefully avoid the issue of his strange behavior altogether.

And he wasn't the only one who had taken notice.

Much to his dismay and growing irritation, Alexx and Calleigh would continually corner him or pull him aside to ask what was wrong with Ryan and what _he_ had done to upset him. Alexx had even gone so far as to threaten him bodily harm if he had done anything to hurt her 'baby.'

Heck, even Horatio had approached Eric about Ryan's odd behavior, which surprised him even more, given the fact that Horatio's modus operandi was always to approach the source… except this particular time. Perhaps the redhead sensed that there was something more between him and Ryan, that something had unexpectedly developed between them after his initial confrontation of the young CSI. Or perhaps he merely thought that Eric would be the best person to approach Ryan about this 'issue.'

But whatever their thoughts, speculations, or concerns were, Eric could only shrug in honest ignorance, telling them that he was just as confused and baffled about the sudden changes in Ryan, especially when he acted so paradoxically different from just a few weeks ago.

It was as if they were dealing with a different man.

And nobody could figure out why.

Yeah… something was _definitely_ amiss.

The hours turned into days and days turned into weeks, and Eric began to get gravely concerned as Ryan's behavior and condition didn't seem to improve a bit, regardless of how much they spent time together or _tried_ to do something fun.

Eric now figured that Ryan seemed to be 'okay' and close to being his normal self whenever he was distracted by work or other activities. But as soon as those things stopped, he almost immediately reverted right back to being solemn and distant, especially during those times when there were lapses in his daily activities, whenever he wasn't preoccupied with work or something else.

He had cautiously but repeatedly tried to approach Ryan about it, but each time the younger man just shrugged off his questions and skillfully redirected their conversation to something else, even as he didn't bother to address any of Eric's concerns.

But Eric knew better, and it didn't take him being a CSI to know when Ryan felt uncomfortable and nervous all of sudden, before he would plaster on a fake smile on his face and hurriedly try to distract him with another topic.

Eric never could guess why Ryan always avoided the topic, but he was sure glad that at least, the younger man hadn't gotten angry with him for those 'few' times he had attempted to get him to talk. Sure, there had been a time when he, himself, had gotten so frustrated that he had almost made Ryan angry with him for being so damn persistent.

He had seen the icy steel glare of Ryan's eyes replace the normally warm hues that were there. He had heard the sudden sharp intake of his breath that last time he had attempted to bring up the subject again. And he had been the beneficiary of that cool and warning tone Ryan only used when he was about to be pushed into the brink of anger.

Nonetheless, Ryan managed to control his raging emotions and to put on that icy smile when he had told Eric to "just drop it."

And so, once again, Eric did…

He dropped it despite Horatio's counsel.

He dropped it despite Calleigh's protests.

He dropped it despite Alexx's threats.

And he dropped it despite his own concerns.

But now the question that had been haunting his mind was: how much worse could it get before Ryan got better? Especially when Ryan seemed to only get worse.

Weeks turned into a full month, and had it not been for the fact that Ryan was indeed alive, breathing and talking and working in the flesh, Eric would've thought that he was part of the walking undead.

And still, Ryan refused to talk about what was consuming his thoughts, what was bothering him so much that it was causing him to behave so strangely.

What in the world was eating Ryan Wolfe alive?

He knew that he should say something to the younger man, address the situation before it got completely out of hand. But what was he supposed to do? Ryan had stubbornly shrugged him off every single time, and for the first time, Eric was afraid to push his luck further with the young CSI.

He had already told Alexx and Calleigh to back off, fearing that their questions and concerns might push Ryan over the edge. And even though he was grateful that they had kept their mouths shut in front of Ryan, they, on the other hand, weren't so gracious to him and didn't spare him any mercy, telling him that he needed to confront Ryan once and for all before something terrible happened to _him_.

Eric had caught their drift.

Smiling despite of their threats, he found himself hugging both Alexx and Calleigh, appreciating their concern for Ryan and their support of their friendship-relationship.

"Now, you go in there and take care of my baby," Alexx prodded, turning Eric around and giving him a firm push towards the door. "I expect to see good results by tomorrow," she added lightly but warningly as he was finally forced out of the morgue

And with one last nod and a silent promise, Eric turned around, went into the locker room, grabbed his things, and headed towards the parking lot in search of his car.

Ryan should've been home for at least an hour by now. Horatio had actually taken the young CSI into his office just a few hours ago and told him firmly to go home and to take the next two days off to sort out what was troubling him, despite the younger man's protests, anger, and evident offense at what his boss might be implying with this forced leave of absence.

Eric had watched in shock and in helplessness from the sidelines as Ryan stormed out of Horatio's office in an enraged huff. He didn't dare stop the younger man nor did he dare to get in his way. He just stood there with his mouth agape at the sudden and drastic turn of events, unable to move or to say anything until he had felt the familiar presence of the redhead next to him.

"Go to him, Eric," Horatio had said simply.

He had given his boss an incredulous look then, as if to ask whether the Lieutenant had lost his mind and had suddenly acquired the inexplicable urge to throw Eric and feed him to the Wolfe. But the redhead merely gave Eric an encouraging smile as he took the file from his hands.

"Talk to Ryan, Eric," Horatio said again, softer this time. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

And with that, Horatio turned around and went back into his office, leaving Eric to ponder what he should do next, even as his legs unconsciously carried him into the morgue to talk to Alexx and Calleigh.

Now, he found himself in his car, parking in the driveway in front of Ryan's home. His grip on the steering wheel hadn't loosened up a bit, and he was surprised that he had made it to his destination in one solid yet trembling piece, considering his body had been on autopilot and his mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of Ryan and the events of the day during the entire drive.

He hadn't decided yet whether this whole thing was a good idea.

He hadn't decided yet what he should or should not do.

Truth be told, he was still shaken up about seeing Ryan so blatantly furious, and, dare he say it, he was also a bit afraid to confront his colleague when he was still in his livid state. He could only hope that Ryan had already managed to calm down enough, given the few hours head start he had.

But that still didn't ease Eric's nerves.

He looked out the window, noticing the sun begin to set in the horizon, casting the same orange-purple hue across the sky, even as traces of the foreboding black and blue began to creep up from afar. And Eric couldn't help the sinking feeling he had in his heart and in the pit of his stomach.

Would this confrontation irrevocably set his friendship back with Ryan?

Would it take things back to the way they were, hostile and filled with competitive animosity?

Would it steal his chances of having something deep and tangible with the younger man?

Would it ruin what they could possibly have between them for good?

With a tremulous breath, Eric reached for his keys and shut off his engine. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the steering wheel as he shook his head in dismay, taking in the silence that now enveloped him in the car.

This wasn't supposed to turn out this way. His relationship with Ryan was supposed to improve, and given time, he was supposed to find the courage to take it to the next level.

How the hell did it come to this?

How did things get so bad that he found himself being the one who had to confront Ryan again and possibly risk the unfortunate chance that what he had hoped would happen between them eventually would never come to fruition because he had to be the bearer of confrontation and, therefore, conflict?

It was a burden he didn't necessarily want to shoulder at the moment. But it was also a burden that he knew only one person had a right to assume – him.

Damn!

Why couldn't things just remain simple and uncomplicated with Ryan?

Why did his heart have to fall for someone so mysterious and enigmatic and yet so amazingly beautiful at the same time?

Why did he agree to do this?

And why did he feel as if he was walking right into a death trap, with his head up on the chopping block?

He sat up and leaned against the seat, taking in another tremulous breath as he opened his eyes to stare at Ryan's door intently. He was still doubting himself, still having second thoughts in his mind, even as his heart pounded with vigor in his chest, and the two little voices inside his head began to debate with each other about whether or not he should get out of his car and knock.

It was at that moment that he wished that his friend, Speed, were there to guide him, to give him a swift kick in the ass, to tell him exactly what he needed to do, and to yell at the voices in his head to shut the hell up.

He missed him, now more than ever, and he could only imagine how much Ryan must be missing him too.

_"Damn it, Speed… where are you?"_ he found himself asking amidst the heavy and humid silence. _"Tell me…"_

What would Speed do?

-----

**TBC **

_**Let me know what you think. Reviews are much loved! **_**_  
_**  
**A/N:** Lyrics taken from Gerri Halliwell's "Mi Chico Latino." Mwahahahaha! I blame the plot penguin for this evil cliffhanger. But I do promise (for real this time) that the answers to everything lie in the next chapter, where everything will sort of come full circle and anything that hadn't been revealed and explained since the beginning of the fic will finally make sense. Stay tuned!


	8. The Gray Between

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 8?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Beta: **Mistakes make me human…

**A/N: **Lyrics taken from Gerri Halliwell's "Mi Chico Latino."

-----

Chapter 8 – The Gray Between

_Yo no se, yo no se (I don't know, I don't know)_  
_Pero no es un cuento (But this is not a story)  
Mi corazon con tormento (My heart (is) with torment)_

-----

He sat up and leaned against the seat, taking in another tremulous breath as he opened his eyes to stare at Ryan's door intently. He was still doubting himself, still having second thoughts in his mind, even as his heart pounded with vigor in his chest, and the two little voices inside his head began to debate with each other about whether or not he should get out of his car and knock.

It was at that moment that he wished that his friend, Speed, were there to guide him, to give him a swift kick in the ass, to tell him exactly what he needed to do, and to yell at the voices in his head to shut the hell up.

He missed him, now more than ever, and he could only imagine how much Ryan must be missing him too.

_"Damn it, Speed… where are you?"_ he found himself asking amidst the heavy and humid silence. _"Tell me…"_

What would Speed do?

-----

_Ryan Wolfe was running._

_Ryan Wolfe was in limbo._

_Ryan Wolfe had been running, running, running in limbo… and there seemed to be no end in sight._

_He had been there before… everyday, in fact, for over a month now. And with each dream, with each passing night, he seemed to get further and further into the web of visions, advancing the plot, so to speak. The nebulous space he was currently occupying had become all too familiar to him, even though every single time, he was just as lost as before._

_And now, he was running again, running non-stop, searching for something… or someone._

_He wasn't sure if he was already dead._

_He couldn't confirm if he was still alive._

_All he knew was that he was still in that indeterminate state, somewhere between the black of death and the white of life. He was in the gray, in that dividing line between reality and the supernatural._

_And he was lost._

_Running…_

_But lost._

_He heard a faint voice calling out to him, and he stopped dead in his tracks, struggling to calm his breath down enough so that he could hear it again, his ears straining to make out the direction from whence the mysterious but somewhat familiar voice had come from._

"_Ryan…" he heard his name._

_He turned somewhere to his right and took off running again, the voice his only guide within the homogenous gray. He was running blindly, he knew. He couldn't even tell whether he was running straight or in careless circles, but he couldn't afford to lose the voice. _

_And so, he closed his eyes and kept running, focusing all of his attention on following its echo, wherever it might lead him, and hoped that somewhere within the indefinable haze, that he was actually getting somewhere and that he'd finally find what he had been looking for._

_Moments later, he felt a strange yet incredibly light sensation, as if he were almost flying, soaring, or running on a cloud. Puzzled, he dared a peek and looked down, his eyes widening with fear and shock as he watched the gray 'floor' slowly disappear underneath him. And yet stranger still, he did not fall._

_His legs were still running of their own volition, moving as if they were on autopilot, taking him to wherever the unseen force wanted him to go. The syrupy gray now faded steadily before him, and in a flash, almost like a scene from the 'Matrix,' his surroundings quickly shifted, changing right before his eyes._

_Large mirrored walls suddenly appeared on either side of him, falling ahead in a rush of two long, clamorous lines, transforming the once vacuous space into something resembling an elongated mirrored hallway with a proverbial speck of a door somewhere at the end._

_His legs started to feel weak, heavy like the gelatinous pall that had blanketed him just a moment ago. And soon enough, the mirrors began to reach out to him, liquid hands enticing him to take a look. And although the mirrored walls themselves were inexplicably solid, out of the corner of his eye, he could see them somehow shifting, moving like the flow of unhurried waters streaming down to their destination, to their own end._

_He was tempted to indulge them, to spare a fleeting glance, but he resisted with all the self-control he could muster. He had never given in before, never attempted to look into one either. And yet deep down, he already knew what would happen if he did give in, if he did take that one look._

_He couldn't explain it, and he didn't want to chance it._

_But somehow, he just knew…_

_He knew what looking into these crystal fluids would do, what being enveloped in their transparent arms and fingers would reveal. And he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to see what he really looked like as a man, what he was really made out of now, what he had allowed himself to become: empty, withering, wasting away at the prime of his life, wilting like a pale rose parched for some warmth and liquid deliverance._

"_Ryan…"_

_He heard his name reverberate through the long passageway, and he found himself picking up his pace, fearing that the leaden weight in his legs would cause him to sink if he didn't fight it, snatch him down helplessly while the undercurrents dragged him away and forced him to see the vanishing man he had unfortunately become. _

"_Ryan…"_

_He was close, so close to the door, so close to his answer… just a few hundred feet more._

"_Ryan…"_

_The voice was starting to sound all too familiar, and his heart instinctively reacted, aching in recognition as he realized whose voice it belonged to._

"_Speed?" the name escaped his lips like a dying breath, and he found himself dashing the last hundred feet madly, pausing just long enough to yank the door open before charging into the other side of the unknown._

_Suddenly, he found himself surrounded by a sea of unopened caskets, the door behind him instantly vaporizing into thin air as soon as he had shut it, and his heart caught in his throat as he tried to make sense of what was happening before him._

"_Ryan!"_

_He heard his name again, muffled and almost frantic, and he was startled to hear something akin to a banging noise, as if a worn hand was beating desperately against the surface of a dead wood. And all at once, panic gripped him like the greedy clutches of death. _

_What if something was wrong?_

_What if Speed wasn't dead?_

_What if he was trapped?_

"_What if he's trapped, and I can't save him? What if I fail him and he dies?" his heart began to pound incessantly as the voices in his head hammered him with a range of emotions from doubt and fear to helplessness and guilt. "What if I fail him again?"_

_It was the question he had been dreading all along – the question he had been afraid to ask himself ever since the day Speed had lost his life. He knew that the CSI's death wasn't his fault to begin with… it never was. Still, however, he couldn't help but feel guilty that just maybe, he hadn't done enough to ensure that Speed would survive. And no one would ever know how much he had blamed himself and was still blaming himself partly for Speed's demise._

_If only he had nagged his stubborn friend a little more about cleaning his guns._

_If only he had checked the older man's weapons to ensure that they would work properly._

_If only he had done this…_

_If only he had done that…_

_If only… if only… if only…_

_If only he had been a better friend…_

_Maybe Speed would still be alive._

_He was snapped out of his self-judgment when he heard that banging sound again. And without thinking or coming up with an ordered plan, he rushed up to the nearest coffin and threw open the lid._

"_Speed!" he called as he looked in._

_But the casket was empty._

_A bewildered frown graced his face before he found himself mindlessly rushing to the next one and the next one and the next one after that, hurriedly opening each one of the caskets and swiftly looking inside to see if the beloved CSI could be found lying within. But each time he moved on to the next and with each coffer he had opened, he was becoming more and more panicked and disheartened._

_Empty…_

_Vacant…_

_Unoccupied…_

_The unopened coffins were beginning to dwindle in number, and still, he wasn't getting any closer to finding the right one._

"_Ryan!"_

_He heard his name, followed by some more frantic knocking again, and Ryan found himself intensifying his efforts, throwing his compulsions and all caution to the wind, not caring if he did things without regard to any proper or particular order or whether he injured himself in the process._

"_Speed! Speed!" he called out to his friend frantically. "Speed, where are you? Tell me where you are!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, hoping the former CSI could hear him through his horizontal prison._

_And then all at once, the coffins around him disappeared in a frightening instant, vanishing into thin air like a puff of cold breath… all except one. The room's atmosphere altered once again, and the grayish fog that had enveloped him before, now seeped in and swathed the room again. Only this time, the graying shroud had a tint of blue and wasn't nearly as substantial as before._

_From somewhere above the ghostly mist, a beam of whitish-yellow light penetrated its way down and settled on a lone coffin just a few yards to his left, illuminating it like a spotlight on a stage._

_Ryan swallowed hard and cautiously approached the lidded bed. Then with shaky hands, he reached for the dark mahogany wood and flipped open the cover. His heart sank yet again at the sight that greeted him._

_Empty._

_Just like all the rest._

_Just like his life?_

_A cynical laugh escaped his lips, a laugh that was soon muddled up by stinging tears and ironic sobs of pain, emptiness, guilt, and loss._

_Was this just another cruel joke?_

_Would he always look for his fallen friend, only to find out each and every time that he wasn't there, that 'he' would elude him time and again?_

_Was it his destiny to always come so close, to see a fool's hope within his grasp, within his line of sight, only to have the former CSI disappear again, before he could even fathom a comforting touch?_

_Ryan didn't know what all of this meant, but it had finally become too heavy, too heartlessly blank, too much for him to bear any longer. He sank to his knees and didn't bother to contain his welling emotions anymore, burying his face in his hands as he allowed himself to break down into tears and wail out his heart's hidden and overdue cry._

"_Ryan…"_

_He heard Speed's voice again, gentle in its sympathy and understanding this time, but he dared not look up, fearing disappointment at seeing nobody there. But then again, the voice sounded so close, almost as if it were echoing through his head, invading the very nexus of his troubled thoughts._

_He wondered for an instant whether he was beginning to imagine things. Perhaps it was simply his wishful thinking that he thought he might've heard the voice of his dearly-missed friend, the voice of the one who had guided him into becoming a CSI – the voice of a man who had sustained him like a true ally, even after his death… at least up until a few weeks ago._

_Or perhaps he really was going crazy._

_But then the voice echoed in his head once more. And this time, it did more than just call out to him._

"_Ryan…"_

"_Speed…" he replied finally, sobbing out his friend's name as he found himself responding audibly to the voice in his head, his lips seemingly responding of their own accord._

"_You can't keep looking for me, Ryan," came Speed's concerned voice. "There's nothing you could do to bring me back. And there's nothing you could've done to prevent what had happened."_

"_That's not true," Ryan countered easily. "I could've checked your weapons for you. I could've cleaned it myself and made sure that it would work."_

"_But that wasn't your responsibility, Ryan," Speed reminded him easily. "It was mine… alone."_

"_But I still could have done it, Speed," Ryan replied stubbornly. "I still could've made sure… Maybe then your gun wouldn't have malfunctioned. Maybe then you wouldn't have had to look at your weapon during the shootout," Ryan listed self-deprecatingly. "And maybe then you'd still be alive."_

"_You can't keep blaming yourself for something that was out of your hands."_

"_Was it really out of my hands, Speed? Was it really out of my control?" Ryan queried through tears. "Was there nothing I could've done to keep you here?"_

_There was an audible pause before he heard the older man reply sadly, "Yes, Ryan… it really was." Then another pause before he added, "And, no… there was nothing you could've done."_

_But Ryan only shook his head in willful denial, "No… I should've been there for you, Speed. I should've been a better friend."_

"_Don't say that, Ryan," Speed reprimanded him gently. "You were a better friend than what you give yourself credit for," Speed reassured him. "And don't you forget that."_

_Taking a trembling breath, Ryan replied in earnest, "God, I miss you, Speed! I wish you were still here."_

"_I know… but you can't let my death dictate how you're gonna live your life," Speed reminded him yet again. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Ryan."_

"_I know…" was all the younger man could say, and he sounded so worn, so crestfallen and defeated._

_He could hear Speed sighing in his head, "Do you remember the last time I spoke to you?"_

"_How could I forget?" Ryan replied, his heart aching even more at the memory. "You told me that I was ready to move on… that I don't need you anymore," he sobbed._

"_You are…" Speed confirmed kindly. "And you don't."_

"_But I'm not," Ryan replied stubbornly through his tears. "And I still do."_

_He could hear Speed sighing again, "Ryan…"_

"_Why did you leave me, Speed?" the question came out earnestly, and it shot through his friend like a bolt of hot misery._

"_I already told you."_

"_I know… but I – "Ryan started to say, but this time, he was cut off._

"_You can't keep holding onto me, Ryan," Speed told him softly. "You have to move on."_

"_Speed…" Ryan cut in, trying to reason with his friend._

_But Speed would have none of it, "You have to let me go, Ryan."_

"_Speed, no…" Ryan began to panic once more, and he quickly jumped to his feet, opening his eyes to his ghostly surroundings, yet seeing nothing but the misty blue-gray. "Please, don't leave me alone," he found himself begging his friend once more._

"_You have to let me go."_

"_I can't…" Ryan began to sob again. "I don't know how."_

"_Ryan…" _

_Even in his mind's eye, Ryan still couldn't see his friend, not even his ghostly silhouette. But remarkably, it felt as if Speed's voice had wrapped itself around him, cloaking him from all fear and anxiety, sheathing him in the tender warmth of their eternal friendship, encircling him with a gentle veil of reassurance and encouragement._

_He could almost feel the older man smirking too, even though he couldn't see his face. And strangely enough, that reassured him and freed him from all worry and anxiety, if only for that vapor of a moment._

_He closed his eyes once more, trying to hold onto that feeling of comfort and camaraderie amidst the bluish gray haze, trying to delay the inevitable heartbreak of such a sorrowful parting, trying to bask as much as he could in his friend's familiar and heartening presence._

"_Open the door, Ryan…" he heard Speed say._

_Before Ryan could even register which door his friend was talking about, the hovering haze suddenly faded around him in a vaporous whisper, and in his mind's eye, he found himself standing in what he could only assume was his living room, the front door just a few paces ahead of him._

_Startled, he called out to his friend in bewilderment, "Speed?"_

_He heard a loud knock on his front door, and he froze instantly, his feet planting themselves like a weed on the spot, his eyes transfixed on the wooden portal separating him from whatever was making the ruckus on the other side._

"_Open the door…" came the quiet command._

"_Wh- Why?" Ryan found himself asking, even as he didn't move a muscle. "What would I find behind the door?" he dared to ask, the tremble in his voice betraying the fear and uncertainty he felt gnawing at him._

"_The answer you've been looking for."_

"_The answer?" Ryan asked, frowning in confusion._

_He could almost imagine Speed nodding, "Yes… the answer to everything you want is standing beyond that door – the answer to everything you'll ever need to finally move on and let me go."_

"_No, Speed… Please, I can't…" Ryan protested weakly, tiredly. "Don't do this… Please… I don't want to let you go."_

"_Don't be afraid, Ryan," Speed's soft voice resonated in his ears again, except it sounded as if it was beginning to fade away as well, "You have to move on. You have to let me go."_

"_I don't know if I can," Ryan replied, shaking his head._

"_Promise me that you will, Ryan," Speed's voice pleaded with him in earnest. "Promise me that you'll stop blaming yourself for my death and that you'll be happy. Please, Ryan… for me?"_

"_Speed…" Ryan tried to protest one last time._

"_Let go of me, Ryan…" Speed told him once more. "Please, just let go…"_

"_How? What do I need to do?" Ryan found himself asking, even as he felt the sobs building back up in his chest and his heart prepared to die all over again._

_He could feel Speed smiling encouragingly this time, "Just open the door, Ryan…"_

_And like a flame that was about to be snuffed out completely, he heard the cool rush of the thinning wind as the rest of his surroundings, except the door, melted into nothingness and just as a second series of frantic poundings hit the vertical piece of wood again…_

…Startled, Ryan finally opened his eyes.

He woke up in a daze and shook his head in stunned confusion as he found himself standing in his living, facing the front door, just like in his dream. Not surprisingly, it wasn't a second later before his mind began to whir at a maddeningly furious pace, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened.

Had he been dreaming about the whole thing?

If so, then how the hell did he come to be standing in his living room, in the exact same spot he was standing in during his dream, no less?

Or had he been sleepwalking all along?

Another loud banging noise startled him out of his frenzied reverie once more, followed by an extremely frantic call from a male voice on the other side.

"Ryan! Wolfe!" he heard the now-familiar voice holler from beyond the threshold, followed by some even louder and more persistent hammerings against the piece of wood.

It was then that Speed's voice reverberated like a fading echo in his mind, reminding him once more of what he needed to do, _"Open the door, Ryan…"_

"Ryan!" he heard his name being called again, snatching him back into reality. "Ryan!"

He shook his head vigorously and blinked several times, trying to shake off the lingering haze. Then he walked the few slow steps over to the wooden entrance and hesitated, just as another series of desperate knocks battered against its surface.

"Ryan!"

"_Just open the door…"_ came the last of Speed's fading voice, and he took a deep breath and swallowed hard before lifting a trembling hand and reaching for the handle.

"Ryan!" Eric's voice sounded worried, maybe even upset. "Open the damn door!"

-----

**TBC**

_**The penguins are hungry. I'm broke. So, what should I do? --lightbulb goes off-- I know!**_

_**--holds up a sign--- "WILL UPDATE FOR REVIEWS!" Hehehehe…**_

**A/N: **Mwahahahaha! The evil plot penguins have struck! But they want me to tell you that they only ended the chapter here because they're extremely underfed and starved for affection (though they seriously hope that you guys understood what was happening in Ryan's dream and how the line between his dreams and reality had been steadily blurring up to this point). But no worries… because now, we have finally arrived at the threshold of one of my favorite parts of the story. And if you want to read what it is… well, then you're going to have to meet the penguins' simple demands and feed them with some juicy fishes, ehrrr… feedback. So, for the love of the Hardy Boys and for my sanity's sake (as well as the penguin's insatiable appetites), please be kind and feed my penguins.


	9. Down The Straight Curve

**Title: When Curves Were Straight - 9 of ?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Cross-Beta By: **Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601

**A/N: **Lyrics taken from Gerri Halliwell's 'Mi Chico Latino.' You want it... You got it! Sorry for the delay. I've had this 'smut' chapter written for the longest time, but I couldn't post it until I had completed the previous chapters, which took a long while to update. Anyway, this is my longest chapter to date, and this is also _**my** **first attempt at writing slash smut**_… I blushed the whole time I was writing it, but I hope you guys enjoy it. I tried my best to balance out the smut with their emotions, so I hope it worked_. **I'm posting the tempered/edited version here, but feel free to click on my profile and go to my website if you want to read the full NC-17 version.**_ Feedback would be so awesome (you guys can let me know if I did the smut right). **I am, after all, a SLASH SMUT initiate.** --holds breath and crosses fingers--

-----

Chapter 9 – Down The Straight Curve

_You left a fire in my eyes  
That lightens up the darkest skies  
I'm giving up I'm letting go  
I'll find my way so…_

_Que Sueno! __(What a dream!)_

_Chico latino te quiero __(Latin boy/guy I want you)_

_Y simplemente deseo __(And I simply desire (you))_

_Yo lo se el camino __(I know the way)_

_Es un sueno latino __(Is a Latin dream)_

-----

"Ryan!" he heard his name being called again, snatching him back into reality. "Ryan!"

He shook his head vigorously and blinked several times, trying to shake off the lingering haze. Then he walked the few slow steps over to the wooden entrance and hesitated, just as another series of desperate knocks battered against its surface.

"Ryan!"

"_Just open the door…"_ came the last of Speed's fading voice, and he took a deep breath and swallowed hard before lifting a trembling hand and reaching for the handle.

"Ryan!" Eric's voice sounded worried, maybe even upset. "Open the damn door!"

----- 

Eric Delko was getting impatient and frustrated. He had been knocking and calling Ryan's name for the last 20 minutes, and the younger man still hadn't answered his door. He had already taken a peek through the window in his garage and confirmed that Ryan's car was parked there, which could only mean that he was, indeed, at home.

He had tried calling Ryan's cell phone several times, but the CSI must've turned it off since it kept going straight into his voice mail. Aggravated and disturbed by Ryan's supposed silence, Eric had begun pounding onto his door with his fist, hoping that the younger man would hear him if he had been sleeping.

He knew he was making quite a ruckus; the curious stares and annoyed glares of Ryan's neighbors told him so, but he could care less if he were to disturb the devil himself. He had to talk to Ryan, had to see for himself that he was alright – he had to find out what was going on.

"Ryan!" he called, nearly shouting the younger man's name in worry and frustration. "Ryan! Open the damn door!"

He was just about to subject Ryan's door to another barrage of pummeling courtesy of his fist, when he heard the soft click of the lock, and the door unexpectedly opened, slowly revealing a haggard looking CSI, who was still wearing the same orange shirt and dark jeans he had worn to work.

"Jesus, Wolfe!" Eric stared at him in wide-eyed concern, his frustrations from earlier quickly melting away at the worn out sight of the younger man before him.

And then a sliver of the dream flooded back to Ryan like a fallen morsel from a vanishing cookie crumb.

"_What would I find behind the door?" he dared to ask, the tremble in his voice betraying the fear and uncertainty he felt gnawing at him._

"_The answer you've been looking for."_

"_The answer?" Ryan asked, frowning in confusion._

_He could almost imagine Speed nodding, "Yes… the answer to everything you want is standing beyond that door – the answer to everything you'll ever need to finally move on and let me go."_

"Delko…" the name escaped his lips like a careless whisper, almost as if the truth of Speed's words were too painful too look at, too incredible to hear, too impossible to even contemplate.

"Are you alright?" came Eric's worried voice.

Ryan didn't answer. He was still too upset over Speed's sudden decision to leave him alone, too bothered by the fact that his mentor would no longer be visiting him in his dreams, too afraid to face the future for the first time without his old friend to guide him and to sustain him in his time of need.

And for the first time in his life after Speed's initial and unexpected death, Ryan Wolfe felt truly bereft… completely and utterly alone.

He didn't know what to think of this new development, this latest revelation from his deceased friend.

And now this…

"Ryan?" Eric called out softly when Ryan didn't answer, frowning in stunned befuddlement when the younger man abruptly turned on his heels and walked back up the stairs in a melancholic daze.

He still hadn't said a word.

Without being invited or denied entrance, Eric drew in a heavy breath and boldly stepped through the still-open door, locking it behind him securely before quickly following Ryan upstairs. The sound of running water alerted him to where he should go, and he soon found the young CSI leaning heavily over the bathroom sink, his eyes closed and his face dripping with water.

He stood by the doorway and called out to the younger man again, noting with concern the paleness in his face, "Ryan?"

Still, no answer…

Opening his eyes finally, Ryan lifted his head up slowly to look in the mirror, his bloodshot gaze immediately settling on the Cuban, now standing on his doorway. And without acknowledging Eric's presence, he straightened up sharply, turned off the tap, and reached for the towel that was hanging on the wall next to sink.

"What's going on?" he heard the older man ask, worry palpable in his voice.

He could feel Eric's concerned stare upon him, watching his every move with a bewildered frown. And for once, he felt like wanting to kick the Cuban out of his home, tell him to go away so that he could hide from the rest of the world until who knows when, tell him to shut the fuck up with all of his damn questions so that he could be enveloped in his gloomy silence once more, tell him to leave him the hell alone so that he could sleep away his deepening depression, this ever-growing ache within his chest

He wiped his face brusquely and drew in a tired breath before addressing the man who was still staring at him.

"What do you want, _Delko_?" Ryan asked coolly as he set the towel down on top of the counter.

Then, turning around to face the older man, he crossed his arms indignantly and leaned against the counter as he returned the Cuban's stare with an icy glare of his own, waiting for him to respond, to tell him what the hell he was doing there.

Whoa! Ryan only called him 'Delko' whenever he was upset with him or whenever they're at work, and they have to keep up with professional appearances. Although truth be told, lately (ever since he had first learned about Ryan's clandestine friendship with Speed and their unlikely 'relationship' had blossomed into something unexpected and certainly quite indefinable at the moment), he rather liked the fact that Ryan had started to call him by his first name.

Hearing Ryan address him in this way, however, caused Eric to become even more confused at Ryan's strange behavior, especially if said behavior was now being directed towards him. What the hell did he do this time to upset Ryan? He began to question in earnest whether he really had done something wrong.

Normally, Eric would've instantly reacted to Ryan's cool indifference by parrying back, returning a smug retort of his own. But after spending several weeks getting to know the younger man and waiting patiently for him to sort things out about their relationship in his head, they had grown close enough to where he could finally, though sometimes still not easily, see right through Ryan's mask.

And realizing what was happening before him, Eric did just that…

He saw through Ryan's carefully faced indifference, saw through the walls that he had built around himself when he was feeling threatened, weak, or vulnerable. But most importantly, he saw through the coldness, past the stony blaze in his glare, and he saw the pain, the fear, and the emptiness deep within the green hollows of Ryan's too-honest eyes… and his heart instinctively ached, empathizing with the troubled man before him.

"Talk to me, Ryan," Eric told him gently, taking a careful step towards him. "Tell me what's troubling you… Tell me what's wrong."

Ryan drew in a sharp breath, immediately feeling somehow threatened by Eric's proximity to him, by how close the Cuban was to seeing right through him, to crumbling down his own defenses. He wanted this confrontation to end. He wanted to just get away and hide. But he knew that Eric wouldn't let him, stubborn as he was. And so, he tore his eyes away and shook his head, a small pessimistic chuckle escaping his lips as he did so.

"Nothing…" he replied, still coldly. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," he heard Eric say almost smugly, challengingly.

Ryan could almost imagine him starting to get frustrated as he said this. He could almost imagine him fuming at his own stubbornness and at being intentionally kept in the dark.

He looked up, and his heart immediately jumped up to his throat as he realized too little, too late that the Latino had already crossed the space between them and was now standing only inches from his face, trapping him between himself and the sink. He could feel the heat radiating through Eric's clothes, could feel his hot, fuming breath against his face, and he could see something else in the Cuban's eyes – an emotion that he, himself, was embarrassed to admit, too afraid to name.

"Ryan…" he heard Eric speaking his name again, gentle and coaxing despite the barely contained frustration underneath. "Tell me what's wrong. Have I done something to hurt you?"

The earnestness in Eric's question caught Ryan by surprise, and he immediately shook his head, "What? No! Oh, no, no, no… God, no, Eric. I mean, I… it wasn't…" he sighed, feeling himself start to stumble over his words. "It's not you, Eric," Ryan replied tiredly. "You haven't done anything to hurt me."

"Then what is it?" Eric pressed.

"It's me," came Ryan's simple reply.

"Yeah, I get that already," Eric told him, still not getting the whole picture. "Tell me something new."

Ryan sighed heavily, "It's not just me, Eric. It's me and…" he paused before adding hesitantly, "…and someone else."

Now Eric's really puzzled: Ryan and someone else?

What did he mean by that?

Did he already have a relationship with someone else, and Eric just didn't know about it?

Was that why Ryan had asked him to give him time to think about what's going to become of their 'relationship'?

Was he biding his time to see which one would be better: Eric or this 'someone else'?

Was that the reason why he had become so distracted, so distant from Eric, even?

Did that amazing kiss on the beach mean nothing to him at all?

"_Oh, God…" _Eric thought in silent dread. _"Does this mean Ryan and I can't be together? Have I already lost my chance with him? Is he going to tell me that he's made his decision and that he has decided against being in a relationship with me… that he doesn't want to be with me?" _Swallowing thickly as his heart began to hammer in his chest, Eric braved a question, while silently dreading Ryan's answer. "What do you mean?" he asked, his question coming out in a strained, trembling whisper.

Ryan sighed heavily again, "It's… it's me and Speed."

"Ryan, what are you talking about?" Eric frowned.

But before Ryan could fathom a response, Eric had a sudden recollection of something that he had been wanting to ask his colleague about since that fateful night when he had fallen asleep in his home just over a month ago. He could still remember everything: the way Ryan had dreamed agonizingly in his sleep, the way he had comforted the young man through it all, holding him close as the tears fell unbidden, and the way he was so stunned to find out that he had been dreaming about Speed.

It was all still so vivid in his mind…

"Ryan," Eric called out his name in a soft whisper as he looked deeply into the younger man's eyes. "Does this have anything to do with your dream the night I confronted you about Speed?" he dared to ask.

Thoroughly stunned by what Eric had just confronted him with, Ryan could only stutter out a trembling reply, "H-how… how did you know about that?"

Eric studied Ryan's face intently, looking for any signs of recollection, and seeing none, he answered, "We were watching TV on your couch, but you fell asleep maybe a couple hours into it. Everything was sort of quiet, but then I heard you…" he paused a moment, trying to find a way to put things gently. "You were talking in your sleep, Ryan," Eric finally confessed. "And I heard you talking to Speed."

He felt the blood rush all the way up to his face, his cheeks and ears beginning to burn bright red in humiliation and anxiety at having been discovered, at what he might have inadvertently revealed during his fretful slumber, at what Eric had learned while he had been unconscious.

Not knowing what to say, Ryan instinctively reacted by pushing Eric off of him and storming out of the bathroom in a panic that was enough to make him puke his guts out. God! He had never been so self-consciously embarrassed in his entire life as he was right at that moment.

What was Eric going to think about this now?

How would Eric view him after this mess of a night?

Would he look at him like he was some kind of a freak for needing Speed to sustain him and to keep him sane all this time, more than two years after the CSI's death?

Or would Eric think that he was insane for believing that Speed had actually been helping him cope with the loneliness and the loss from beyond the grave?

Honestly, he didn't want to know; neither did he have the strength to find out. He rushed out of the bathroom in a frazzled huff and stormed into his bedroom, where he promptly sat down at the foot of his bed and buried his face in his hands. He wasn't sure he could really tell the Cuban what was really troubling him inside. He couldn't bear to even worry about what Eric would think of him now.

Meanwhile, Eric had recovered quickly enough to realize that he needed to keep confronting Ryan and that he didn't need to let the younger man out of his sight. He immediately followed Ryan into his bedroom, where he found him quivering in silent tears, his elbows propped up on his thighs and his face buried deeply in his hands.

His heart ached all at once at seeing the younger man hurt so much. He could almost hear Ryan's heart fragmenting into countless pieces as he suffered in solitude and sobbed out in pained silence. He wanted to just reach out and hold Ryan close, let him cry out his bottled up pain and spill it all on his chest, let himself rock the younger man into a comforting silence until he had fallen asleep.

But somehow, he sensed that Ryan wouldn't be too keen on that at that moment, especially when he was already feeling vulnerable and dare he say it, humiliated. The young man must be wondering what he thought of him now, and Eric knew that it was up to him to show Ryan that he was sincere, that he wouldn't judge him or make fun, and that he could be trusted to open up with his most intimate secret.

Quietly, Eric walked into the room, pulled out a chair from the corner, and set it down a few feet in front of Ryan, being careful to put enough distance between them so as not to intrude too much into Ryan's personal space. He straddled the seat, crossed his arms on top of the back of the chair, and allowed his chin to drop on top of his forearm, sighing as he did so.

"Ryan…" he called out to the younger man in a soft voice. "You're not alone, you know?" Eric began carefully, deciding to go for the more emphatic approach. "I used to dream a lot about Speed too."

He heard Ryan sniffle before he was asked in a pained whisper, "Do you still dream about him, Eric?"

The question caught him slightly off guard, and for a moment, he didn't know how to respond. He leaned back slightly and cast his eyes down, debating on how to answer the probing question as an uncomfortable silence descended upon them in the meantime, broken only when Ryan finally looked up with curious, bloodshot eyes and a tear-stained face, waiting for Eric to respond.

With a leaden sigh, Eric looked up and replied, "No, I don't… and it's my fault that he doesn't come anymore."

Frowning, Ryan asked, "Your fault? What do you mean it's your fault?"

"I was like you in the beginning, Ryan," Eric began, shifting slightly in his seat. "The first few months after Speed died… it was really tough. I used to think that I wouldn't get past the grief, that I couldn't handle losing him so suddenly. That's when he used to come and visit me in my sleep… every night, in fact, except on Mondays," he paused and chuckled in remembrance before continuing. "I remember asking him why he couldn't come and see me on Mondays, and do you know what he told me? He said that he was a wanted man with a very busy schedule for a ghost. I remember laughing when he told me that. He never would tell me where he would go on Monday nights and why he couldn't spend that time with me. I guess you could say that that's why my attitude hadn't been the best on Mondays… I missed him. And I knew that I wouldn't see him that night when I go to sleep. Even then, he'd always tell me that there was just somewhere else he needed to be, someone else that needed him, and that I'd soon find out who it was."

At this, he heard Ryan draw in a sharp breath, and he looked curiously into the younger man's eyes, suddenly remembering that Ryan had had his dream on a Monday night. Realization tackled him like a wild stampede as he pieced everything together in his mind.

"Oh, my God…" Eric nearly gasped in astonishment as he stared wide-eyed at Ryan. "You're the one that Speed had been visiting on Monday nights."

"And you're the reason why he couldn't see me the other six days of the week," Ryan retorted, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

Seeing this, Eric let out a relieved chuckle and replied, "Yeah… I guess I'm a little more high maintenance than you."

Ryan snorted, "Gee… you think?"

They shared an easy laugh that seemed to break down the somber tension blanketing the night air, before Ryan's brows creased into a curious frown again.

"Why did you say it was your fault, Eric?" he asked once more.

The smile on the Cuban's face faded, and he averted his eyes, feeling guilty and dirty at the reason why Speed had stopped visiting him in his sleep. Truth be told, he didn't really want to talk about himself right now. And Speed not visiting him anymore in his sleep wasn't really a topic of conversation he'd ever have a desire to discuss either.

But he knew that the only way to gain Ryan's trust so that he would finally open up about what was troubling him was to confess the hidden 'shame' he had kept to himself. And that, unfortunately, included having to talk about the one thing that he didn't really want to admit to himself, the one thing that he was ashamed to bring to light because of what it would reveal about him.

"It was my fault because I didn't take him seriously," Eric finally replied, still not meeting Ryan's eyes. "I was toothing, as you well know, and just being careless. And typical Speed called me on it and told me that I was being stupid, that I didn't need to be doing that because he believed that there was someone out there for me who was a cut above the rest. I told him that my sex life was none of his business, and as you could probably imagine, we got into a heated argument because of it. He told me that if I didn't stop having anonymous sex, that he was going to stop visiting me and not see me again until I've found what he called 'the right one' for me. I shrugged off his threat and laughed in his face, told him that I didn't believe him and that I didn't care about what he thought. I thought he was merely bluffing. But obviously, I was wrong… the next night he didn't show up. I thought maybe he'd return after a few days, but he didn't... and it hurt. I missed him. Not long after that, my life started to spiral out of control, and now, I'm just lucky to have some semblance of the normal back."

A pang of curious jealousy shot through Ryan, and the next question slipped out of him before he could even filter it, "Is that why you started dating Natalia?"

Eric didn't know what to say. He had been caught off guard again by Ryan's questioning, and now, he found himself faced with a question he had been asking himself for a while now as well: Why on earth did he go after Natalia? Especially when he only had eyes for someone else, someone who, at the time and perhaps even now, seemed to be out of reach? He decided to keep things simple by answering only the former.

"I don't know…" he shrugged. "I guess maybe I thought she was the one Speed was talking about and that if I went out with her, that Speed would finally show up again." He sighed and shook his head, "I guess I was wrong because Speed never showed up. I knew then that she wasn't the one he was talking about – she wasn't the right one for me."

Ryan simply nodded as he processed what Eric had said. But there was still another question that he was curious about, something else that he needed to ask.

"So, you blame yourself for Speed's leaving you?"

He sighed yet again and nodded, "Yeah, I do. I didn't take him or his concerns seriously, and because of that, I never dreamed about him again," Eric finished, finally daring to meet Ryan's gaze.

"How did you handle not seeing him anymore?" Ryan asked softly, seeing the pain in the Cuban's eyes.

Eric shrugged, "I didn't... I still miss him everyday," he replied honestly before returning Ryan's intent gaze, knowing that it was now his turn to ask the questions regarding Ryan's strange behavior in the last few weeks. "So, what about you?" Eric began carefully, trying to keep the mood serious yet casual enough to keep Ryan at ease. "What happened in your dream that Monday night when you fell asleep on the couch?" Eric now asked more specifically.

Ryan knew that it had finally come to this. He was reluctant to answer any of Eric's questions, but the Cuban had opened up to him about his dreams, or the lack thereof, involving their friend, Speed. And as much as he hated to admit it, the mere fact that Eric was willing to put himself in a vulnerable position by revealing something to him that he had kept hidden from everyone else, well… Ryan could only say that he did, indeed, appreciate that.

With a reluctant breath, Ryan told his colleague about the night Speed suddenly decided to leave him alone for good…

_It had almost become a ritual for him now, a ritual that he eagerly looked forward to ever since its inauguration in his sleep nearly two years ago…_

_Once a week and every Monday night in the land of sleep and possibilities, Tim Speedle would always pay him a much-anticipated visit. They would talk about anything and everything, and always, at the end of each appearance, Speed would make a promise to come back and see him again in exactly one week. And even though Ryan missed him terribly and would've preferred to have the real Speed come back to him in the flesh, the once a week visits did slowly help him to deal with his friend's death._

_And in his dreams, Ryan never had to worry about asking his friend if he would receive another visit the following week because Speed was 'always' the one who would make sure to make the promise to come back every Monday night. It was as if Speed could sense his friend's need to keep seeing him, could sense his friend's reluctance to let him go completely because he knew that without him, Ryan would be left all alone._

_And so, like a true friend, he had made a promise to Ryan to come and visit him for as long as Ryan needed him -- for as long as it took Ryan to grieve his loss and to move on. And to that end, Ryan never had to ask him, nay, beg him to not leave him alone._

_Until that night…_

"_Ryan, there's something I have to tell you," Speed began hesitatingly as he looked at his friend in all seriousness._

_Thinking nothing of it, Ryan replied, "Shoot."_

"_It's time for me to let you go."_

"_Already?" Ryan asked surprised, evidently not catching his friend's drift. "Well, alright… I guess I'll see you next Monday then," he replied, standing up with a shrug._

"_I'm not coming back, Ryan," Speed told him, standing up as well._

_Frowning in confusion this time, Ryan asked, "What do you mean you're not coming back? You always do."_

"_Not this time," Speed replied with sadness in his eyes as he shook his head._

"_Wait a minute," Ryan said, taking a step closer to his friend. "What do you mean by that? What's going on, Speed?"_

_With a reluctant sigh, Speed answered, "We've reached the point where we both know that you can make it on your own, Ryan… without me."_

_Hearing this, Ryan drew in a sharp breath and shook his head, "No… I can't, Speed… I already tried…" he said, clearly beginning to panic._

"_But you can make it, Ryan," Speed countered. "You have to try."_

_Ryan shook his head stubbornly, not wanting to hear his friend's plea, "No… I'm tired, Speed. I'm too tired to try."_

"_Ryan, listen to me," Speed said, stepping up just close enough to put his hands on Ryan's shoulders and to look him intently in the eyes. "You've found your place here, and you're right where you belong as a CSI. You don't need me to help you anymore. Don't you see? You've already found it on your own."_

_But Ryan only shook his head in denial, feeling himself start to hyperventilate from anxiety, "No, there's no place for me here… No place without you, Speed… I don't belong in the team… I never have."_

"_Don't say that, Ryan," Speed reprimanded him. "Alexx loves you like one of her own, Calleigh's become a good friend, Horatio trusts you and is impressed with your work, and Eric…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say about the Cuban. "Well, he'll come around eventually."_

"_I can't…" Ryan replied, still shaking his head in denial._

"_You have to try, Ryan," Speed told him encouragingly. "You have to move on."_

"_Don't make me do it," Ryan begged, feeling the sting of tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "Please…"_

_But Speed only shook his head sadly, "It's time, Ryan. I have to let you go," he replied, letting go of the younger man's shoulders._

"_No!" Ryan whimpered desperately, feeling the cold emptiness beginning a slow crawl into his heart. "No, no… Please! Don't leave me!" he began to cry out now as a few tears started to roll down his pale face. "I can't do this… I can't do this alone…"_

"_I'm sorry, Ryan," Speed replied as he began to walk backwards slowly, increasing the heartbreaking distance between them with each agonizing step. "But you have to do this… You're ready to move on… And it's time for me to let you go…"_

_Ryan wanted to reach out frantically, wanted to step closer and capture his friend once more, prevent him from disappearing altogether. But his feet were somehow rooted to the spot, and he was unable to move or to do much of anything except to cry out frantically and to plead for his friend to not abandon him._

"_No, please… Speed… don't go… don't go… don't go…" he said distraughtly, imploring his friend as tears of anguish began to flow freely from his eyes. _

"_I'll never forget you, Ryan," Speed told him from a distance, when Ryan could only see his ghostly silhouette amidst the whitish gray. "I'll always watch over you… I'll always be in your heart."_

_His words had a powerful and consoling effect on the young CSI, and he took comfort in his friend's words, holding onto them like a treasured promise that transcends the boundaries time and space._

"_I'll miss you, Speed…" Ryan sighed finally in quiet yet pained resignation._

"_Don't forget about me, Ryan," Speed told him, a small, sad smirk appearing on his face._

"_Never…" Ryan replied determinedly, sniffling as he shook his head, still not daring to peel his eyes away from the quickly fading silhouette of his friend._

"_You promise?" Speed asked one last time before he could completely disappear._

"_I promise," Ryan replied resolutely._

_And with the last of those words, Ryan watched unblinkingly as his friend finally vanished, claimed by the ethereal haze that used to be their meeting place, his place of comfort every Monday night for the past two years._

"Is that why you've been acting so…" Eric paused, searching for the right words, "…distant? So withdrawn?"

"Partly…" Ryan replied as he nodded slightly. "I was sort of like you. I thought that maybe he'd change his mind and come back again. But Monday night came, and he didn't." He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill once more at the painful memory, before continuing, "That first night without his visit was really tough, and I didn't sleep well at all. I tried to go back to our meeting place, but I couldn't find it. Somehow, I kept ending up in this thick, gray haze… and I was lost." He paused a moment more before adding, "I was lost, and I couldn't find him."

"So, what did you do?"

"I ran," Ryan stated simply.

"And did you find him?" Eric now asked curiously.

Ryan shook his head, "No… I didn't," Ryan replied. "I couldn't. But…" he trailed off, the words dying a slow, painful death in his mouth as he thought about not wanting to dwell on the memory of his last dream.

"But… that's not everything, is it?" Eric pressed, sensing that there was something more to the story, something else that Ryan hadn't revealed, something else that he was trying to hold back.

Closing his eyes, Ryan swallowed the burgeoning lump in his throat before shaking his head, "No. I didn't see him, but he spoke to me… he spoke in my head."

"And what did he say?"

"He told me that I can't keep looking for him, that his death wasn't my fault and that I should stop feeling guilty, that I should quit blaming myself for it," Ryan confessed.

"He's right, you know?" Eric told him. "You had nothing to do with Speed's death."

Ryan looked at him incredulously then, "Really, Delko?" he asked rather sarcastically. "If that were true, then why the hell did you treat me like shit, huh? Why did you act as if my coming into the lab was the like the worst possible crime, as if I might as well have been guilty for killing Speed, as if I had pulled the trigger myself? Why did you keep pitting me against him, treating me like his damn replacement?" he asked, firing the questions rapidly as he felt his long-hidden hurt and resentment beginning to boil above the surface.

_"So that's why he felt like he didn't belong,"_ Eric thought finally as he pieced together what Ryan just said with what he had said earlier in his conversation with Speed. He looked down in shame and didn't dare to meet the righteous glare in Ryan's eyes. Perhaps this was the real reason why the CSI told him to give him time to think. Perhaps that's why Ryan was approaching this relationship so cautiously. Heck, if it had been him, he would've had a hard time trusting someone who had treated him with contempt too. 

"I'm so sorry, Ryan," Eric finally dared a reply, looking sincerely into Ryan's eyes. "I don't know what to say… I mean, I was really missing Speed at that time. I know that's no excuse for how or why I treated you the way I did. But I'm really, _really_ sorry… for everything." He paused, studying the younger man's face for a moment, trying to look for any signs of forgiveness before adding, "I can't turn back time or undo what I did to you in the past. But I hope you'd still be my friend at the very least; maybe give me the chance to right the wrongs I've done."

There was shyness in his voice now, a timid quality that Ryan had never heard before from a man like Eric Delko, and it caught him by surprise… pleasantly.

"I had been an arrogant jackass to you, Ryan," Eric told him remorsefully. "And I'm really sorry for hurting you."

Ryan shook his head and smiled thinly, "You're not the only one, Eric," Ryan confessed as well. "I was a jerk too."

A relieved smile tugged on their lips and spread over their faces at the same time, knowing that in not so many words, that each had forgiven the other. And just like that, they buried the past behind them, intending to make a clean start on the future.

Wanting to get back to Ryan's last dream, however, Eric now asked, "What else did Speed tell you, Ryan?"

With another heavy sigh, Ryan replied, "He told me that I couldn't keep holding onto him, that I had to move on. Next thing I know, I was standing in front of my front door, and I heard someone pounding on it. He told me to open the door, but I was afraid, so I didn't move. And then I asked him what I would find behind the door…" Ryan trailed off once again, knowing exactly what Speed had been implying when he realized who was standing behind his door as soon as he had opened it.

"Ryan," Eric called his name like a soothing whisper. "I'm here for you. Please… tell me what happened," he coaxed gently, even though he already knew the implication of what Ryan had revealed.

In his heart, Ryan knew that Eric had promised to wait for him, to give him all the time he needed to sort things out in his head before making a decision about their relationship. And after that incredibly heartfelt kiss on the beach, he knew that the Cuban had been sincere in what he had said.

But yet his mind kept over-thinking things, telling him that a relationship with Eric could never be despite his heart's staunch protests. He knew that he wasn't an easy person to understand, let alone, to deal with sometimes. So, why on earth would Eric want to be with someone as complicated and as 'messed up' as him? And that's not even counting the hodgepodge that was his mentor-friendship-relationship with Speed before _and_ after his death.

Speed.

The name sparked a voice in his head, and he found himself closing his eyes once more, trying to capture the comforting yet devastating sound of his friend's last words.

"_Speed…" Ryan tried to protest one last time._

"_Let go of me, Ryan…" Speed told him once more. "Please, just let go…"_

Ryan looked down and quietly replied, "He told me that the answer to everything I want, the answer to everything I'll ever need to finally move on and let him go was standing beyond my front door. He told me to open the door and to not be afraid of what I'd find. He made me promise him that I'd be happy. And then he told me…" he trailed off, almost choking on Speed's words as they echoed in his head and swam in his blood, re-igniting the fire that his old friend had set into motion more than two years ago. "He told me…"

"He told you to let go…"

Fire burned in both of their eyes as they met each other's gaze once again. Only this time, neither one said a word as both understood exactly what Speed had been wanting for them all along, what he had been trying to do with his two stubbornly clueless friends when he was still alive, and what he was still trying to do even now, beyond the grave.

They had to give their friend credit – whether in the flesh or in spirit, Speed was one cocky and persistent son of a…

All this time, they had both been too carefully blind, both refusing to admit what they had always wanted for so long, both too pigheaded to make the first move and to go after what they knew in their hearts was the right thing to do.

But not anymore…

Wordlessly, Eric stood up and took a careful step towards Ryan before kneeling down on the floor between his legs. And when the younger man didn't protest the intrusion into his personal space, he reached up and cupped his face, pulling him into a soft, imploring kiss, filled with comfort and need.

Ryan responded in kind, kissing him back with as much urgency and wanting, slim lips kissing him softly but fiercely at the same time that deft fingers circled around his neck. Eric dropped his arms, circling them around Ryan's waist possessively. It wasn't until Eric had pulled their bodies flush against each other that a moan of breathless anticipation escaped Ryan's lips as he felt the unmistakable evidence of Eric's growing desire between his legs, rubbing against his own, even as heat radiated through their own clothing and intensified between them.

Smirking into the kiss, Eric tugged on Ryan's shirt, lifted it above his head, and then quickly discarded it on the floor. He took a moment to gaze upon the beautiful body in front of him, and he couldn't help but leer predatorily, his mouth twisting up into a humorless, hungry smile when Ryan blushed a deep shade of crimson, his mouth temptingly swollen and glistening from the heat of their exchange.

He leaned forward and captured Ryan's lips once more, his hands warm and traveling down the well-muscled plains of his chest, fingers sliding along the faint line of hair that went down to his navel, touching and feeling and roaming and groping. He felt Ryan's hands begin to unbutton his shirt, felt him push it off of his shoulders, and he shrugged it off, the piece of clothing joining Ryan's in a careless pool beside his legs.

His hands quickly wound around the younger man's body again, pulling him close, bare chest to bare chest, feeling the heat radiate and magnify between them even more. He ground their hips together, and when Ryan gasped at the contact, he plunged his tongue into his mouth and devoured him greedily, their tongues dueling for dominance as Eric savored every moment of the kiss, imprinting in his mind forever just how delicious this beautiful man tasted like.

His hands traveled down stealthily as he kissed a path from Ryan's mouth to his jaw and down to the side of his neck. His tongue made a slow, wet trail across his collarbone, and the younger man's hands rose entirely of their own volition to twist in his hair. And when his hands had found their target, he made short work of undoing the younger man's belt and pants as he assaulted that all too-sensitive spot behind his left ear.

Ryan groaned deeply and bared his neck for Eric to ravish. He felt Eric tug on his pants, and he released one of his hands from around Eric's neck, propped it up on the bed for leverage, and lifted his hips as Eric pulled both pieces of clothing off of him in one impossibly swift motion. And then suddenly, Ryan felt naked and vulnerable and…

Oh…

---

_**(NC-17 parts edited out… Click on my profile, and go to my Homepage to read the full, unedited version, but only if you're comfortable and you understand what you're going to be reading. WARNING: THIS IS SLASH SMUT! You have been warned, so don't go flaming me if you choose to be ignorant and disregard the warning!)**_

---

Seconds later, Eric collapsed helplessly, and they were left trembling and clinging to each other's sweat-slicked bodies amidst the steamy silence of the young CSI's bedroom.

Ryan tried to concentrate on the simple feeling of having Eric inside of him, relentless and steady and powerful. He tried to bathe in the silence and the balmy afterglow of having just made intense, passionate love. He tried to focus and remember everything… even after he had stopped feeling the rush of warmth coming out of Eric and even as the tidal wave of emotions ebbed from their veins, summoned back by the pull of their own bodies' need to unwind.

And then there was silence between them once more as both bodies shifted on top of the bed. Pulling the sheets to cover their nakedness, Eric snuggled up behind Ryan and held onto him, much like the way he had held him that first night he heard him dreaming about Speed, like that first night he spent holding him comfortingly on the couch until he had fallen back into a more peaceful sleep.

He dropped a soft kiss on Ryan's neck and shoulder and tangled their legs together, enjoying the straight yet complicated curves of the younger man against him, as their breaths slowly evened out into a steady rhythm. Silence enveloped them once more, heavy and persistent, until the only sounds they could hear were the steady beating of their own hearts… two hearts that after all this time, finally, _finally_ beat as one.

And somewhere in the distance, in the faint ethereal shadows of the afterlife, a stubborn and restless soul finally, finally smiled…

With another deep breath and still with the absence of any words, Eric and Ryan closed their eyes and fell almost immediately into a deep, _dreamless_ slumber.

Or so they thought…

-----

**TBC**

**_Tell me what you think. Remember… I'm posting this before I leave for my overseas trip b/c I heart y'all. It would be really nice to hear from you guys and have your much-welcomed feedback greet me when I get back. _**

_**Again, what I posted here was the tempered version of the SMUT. If you want to read the original (NC-17) version, however, then go to my profile and click on my Homepage. You'll find the SMUT in Chapter 10 on my LJ. Oh, and if you do decide to read it, then please let me know that you did by leaving a review.**_

**A/N: **Okay… tell me I'm good to you. Come on… let me hear it. LOL This is my longest chapter to date. I hope you find that it answers the 'mysteries' I've hinted at since the beginning of the story, as well as resolves some of the issues and tension between the boys. The story's not over yet, even though we're nearing the end. There are a couple of things that still need to be dealt with, some open issues that still need to be resolved. I'm hoping to be able to write these next few chapters while on the plane, so you guys could have an update not long after I get back. Stay tuned!


	10. The Brilliance Of Breathing Speed

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 10/11**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **Me no own. You no sue. Okay?

**Spoilers: **A bit of Season 3's 'Lost Son' but totally AU

**Cross-Beta: **Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601

**Summary: **Speed makes one last visit.

**A/N: **So… I know this update has long been overdue. I had a most severe case of the writer's block up until recently. As always, feedback would be most appreciated.

-----

Chapter 10 – The Brilliance of Breathing Speed

And then there was silence between them once more as both bodies shifted on top of the bed. Pulling the sheets to cover their nakedness, Eric snuggled up behind Ryan and held onto him, much like the way he had held him that first night he heard him dreaming about Speed, like that first night he spent holding him comfortingly on the couch until he had fallen back into a more peaceful sleep.

He dropped a soft kiss on Ryan's neck and shoulder and tangled their legs together, enjoying the straight yet complicated curves of the younger man against him, as their breaths slowly evened out into a steady rhythm. Silence enveloped them once more, heavy and persistent, until the only sounds they could hear were the steady beating of their own hearts… two hearts that after all this time, finally, _finally_ beat as one.

And somewhere in the distance, in the faint ethereal shadows of the afterlife, a stubborn and restless soul finally, finally smiled…

With another deep breath and still with the absence of any words, Eric and Ryan closed their eyes and fell almost immediately into a deep, _dreamless_ slumber.

Or so they thought…

-----

_He felt like he was floating… drifting… heavy in his own body and yet oddly light at the same time._

_There was the black of sleep._

_And then, there was the gray between…_

"_Ryan…"_

_That voice._

_It sounded so, so… familiar. So close and yet so strangely distant._

_A familiar pang shot up to his chest, a pang of remembrance that he'd rather forget. And in an instant, his dreamless slumber was shattered, and he found himself utterly surrounded by the same gray haze that had troubled him in his sleep for the past few weeks._

"_Ryan…" _

_He heard that same voice, calling out to him, even in his sleep. _

_Oh, no…_

_Was he dreaming again?_

_Another search? Another fruitless quest to bring back the dead?_

_He shuddered at the thought… _

_Another nightmare?_

_It was the same voice that had troubled and eluded him, the same voice that he now sought out once again through the shrouded gray of his eyelids – the same voice of a dear, old friend._

"_Ryan…"_

_He was close…_

_So, so close that he could feel it, feel the man's very breath ghosting on his closed eyelashes, hovering over his cheeks; breathe his own name on his slightly parted lips._

"_Where are you?" he managed to say through lips that barely moved, his voice coming out more as a choked whisper._

"_Right here…" came the vaporous response. "I'm right here…"_

_Blindly, with heavy hands and arms, he tried to reach out to the voice, only to have the formless haze slip right through his fingers, untouchable. Again and again and again, he tried to capture what it was that he had been looking for, yet each time, his hands came up empty. And each time he failed, he felt as if he was losing 'him' all over again._

_He wanted to run, to cry out for the voice to return, to plead with it to give him one last comfort, one last reassurance – one last promise of certainty._

"_Wake up, Ryan," came the voice's soothing command._

"_No… I can't…" Ryan countered, shaking his head vigorously. "I don't want to lose you. I'm not ready yet. I can't…" he protested, feeling his eyes start to pool with unwanted tears. "I can't…"_

_He didn't want this meeting to end._

_Not yet._

"_Trust me…" the voice echoed in his head, and he found himself crumbling helplessly, unable to resist its persuasive urges. "Open your eyes…"_

_He couldn't speak. He wanted to, but his tongue felt parched, numb all of a sudden. He could feel himself shaking his head, not ready to let go yet, not ready to say good-bye – not wanting this dream to end._

"_Please, Ryan…" the voice spoke again, pleadingly this time. "Please… Open your eyes…"_

_In an instant, his body stopped struggling, lying completely still as he considered the request, his once-panicked mind finding solace in the voice's familiarity and earnestness._

"_Will you… leave?" he asked now, swallowing thickly, sadness embracing his tone as he waited for reassurance. "Will you leave me again?"_

_His friend knew that he'd left out the conditional 'if' in that question: would he leave 'if' Ryan opened his eyes?_

"_I can't stay forever, Ryan…" came his vague response. "But I promise not to leave for as long as you can see me," he added conditionally after a measured silence. "Now, open your eyes."_

_At last, Ryan complied… hesitantly, unwillingly. But he complied. His eyes fluttered open, and he found himself in his room, lying in his own bed, still covered in the softness of his sheets, and… 'awake.' Awake and staring up into the kind brown eyes of his old friend._

"_Speed?" he asked now, holding his breath, afraid that he was merely seeing an apparition, afraid that the ghost of a friend would vanish right before his eyes if he so much as dared to breathe in his presence, afraid that this was just wishful thinking – a product of his longing imagination._

"_Come with me, Ryan…" he spoke now, lips curling up into a sympathetic smile._

_He stood up and reached out a hand, open, welcoming. And slowly, Ryan sat up, draping his legs over the edge of the bed. He stared at the open hand before him and looked up into those familiar oracles once again, hesitating just a moment before accepting the invitation and inserting his hand into the proffered limb._

_With a gentle tug, he felt Speed pull him up, and soon, he was standing right in front of his friend again, right in front of the one whom he had missed so much. _

_He glanced back at the bed, and his eyes held a curious glint as he watched the spooned forms of himself and his coworker-turned-lover, sleeping soundly, contentedly on his bed, as if laying together was simply habit, routine, nothing out of the ordinary – normal, in every sense of the word. And he blushed to himself when his thoughts wandered briefly to the events of the previous night – to the first time they finally consummated their desire._

_But then a panicked thought hacked into his mind, terminating that blissful memory all at once… _

_  
Lovemaking._

_Sheets._

_Bodies spooned underneath…_

_Naked._

_Ryan blanched. And with a horrified start, he let go of Speed's hand and gave himself a swift check, his own hands flying over to his chest, his shoulders, his legs, his back, even as his eyes swept over his entire body, wanting to confirm that he was, indeed, not standing in nothing but his birthday suit right in front of his friend._

_He heard Speed chuckle in amusement, and he found himself glaring at the older man before a confused frown settled on his handsome features._

_He looked around the room and noticed that his own clothes were still pooled carelessly on the floor… along with Eric's clothes. He grimaced slightly at the sight, but his compulsive urge to pick up the garments were soon crowded out by yet another thought: yes, his and Eric's clothes were still on the floor, but yet strangely, inexplicably, here he was… standing with those exact same clothes fully on his wraithlike form._

_His eyes landed on Speed's, uncertain and boyishly wide, embarrassed. The older man simply offered him a small but knowing smile._

"_Come on…" he spoke after a brief silence, holding out his hand again for Ryan to take. "Lets take a walk."_

_As if on autopilot, Ryan's hand took hold of Speed's once again, the older man seemingly turning to walk towards the bedroom windows. Unquestioningly, Ryan followed, and in an instant, their surroundings shifted, dispersed, evaporating like fog to the rising sun._

_It wasn't long before he found himself surrounded by open air, trees peppering a magnificent rolling landscape, half shading some old brick and stone buildings that tastefully dotted the architecturally academic scenery in the distance, his feet treading on plush, green grass._

"_Where are we?" Ryan asked, taking in his surroundings, even as he felt as if he'd been there before._

"_Do you remember the first time we met?" Speed asked by way of response. _

_Ryan nodded mutely._

"_Do you remember the first time we became friends?"_

_With a weighted sigh, Ryan looked down at his feet and then looked away at the scenery around him, taking back his hand to rake his fingers through his already rumpled hair. Shoving them down into the pockets of his jeans, his mind raced frantically to pinpoint the exact time, place, or circumstance when he and Speed actually became friends. _

_He drew a blank._

"_It was a process," he replied at long last. "You and I… We just…did. We clicked. And before I knew it…" he trailed off, turning to look at his mentor again. "We were already friends."_

_Smiling at the fond memories of their friendship, Speed now asked as they continued to walk, "And do you remember my promise to you, Ryan?"_

_The younger man didn't even have to think about that one. He certainly remembered it, held onto it lonely night after lonely night like a precious gem, a warm blanket to reassure himself that he had done the right thing by following his dream to become a criminalist._

_It had embedded itself, like clear-cut crystal in his head. And he had trained himself to believe it, even as he grieved in solitude and in secret over the loss of his mentor and good friend. _

_He remembered the promise the older man had made to him that morning when they had met for breakfast and coffee before their shifts even began, that morning before Speed was gunned down at the jewelry store – that very same morning when the both of them had actually planned and scheduled for Ryan to finally apply as a CSI as soon as his shift was over that day._

_Speed had it all figured out. He was going to be the one to tell Horatio about Ryan. He wanted… No. He _insisted_ that he be the one to put in a good word for him, and Ryan didn't really care to argue with the CSI about it. He had more important things to worry about anyway, and he trusted that Speed knew what he was doing. _

_And so, the plan was that after Speed had properly 'prepped' his boss about Ryan and the 'necessity' of hiring another CSI, then Yelina Salas would come later on that day to hand Horatio Ryan's resume and to give him her recommendation. And then, all that would be left would be for Ryan to do his interview with the Lieutenant, show him what he was capable of, and prove to the mighty Horatio Caine that he was, indeed, ready, worth hiring – CSI material._

_It was a foolproof plan._

_Only… fate seemed to have found the 'fool' in their supposedly proofed plan. The day got too busy for both of them. The boat crash and murder case that Speed had been working on became more and more complicated, evolving into a young boy's kidnapping. And before either of them knew it, Speed's gun had malfunctioned, and he…_

_And then Ryan was…_

_He shook his head all of a sudden, trying to rid himself of those horrible memories. He didn't want to think about them right now._

_But yes, he already knew the answer._

_How could he possibly forget?_

"_You told me that I had nothing to worry about because you'd always be there to help me," he replied, trying not to choke on the words as his eyes began to swim with tears at the fond yet sorrowful memories, upsetting, heartbreaking all at once. "You said that no matter what happens, you'd always be there for me. You'd always be there to guide me, to see me through." Abruptly, he stopped walking and turned now to look at the former CSI with pain in his eyes, "You promised that we'd always be friends,' he finished, his voice barely coming out in a whisper._

_He was trying so, so hard not to break down and cry. He was tougher than that, damn it! But the memories still hurt just as bad, distant as they might be. And he couldn't be entirely sure if it was at all possible to really move on and let go of one's grief and pain, to not hurt anymore whenever he thought about his friend or his untimely death for that matter._

"_And we'll always be friends, Ryan," Speed assuaged, laying a hand on each of the younger man's shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze as he looked him resolutely in the eyes. "Nothing about our friendship has changed."_

"_I know…" Ryan replied quietly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, even though no tears had actually fallen yet. "I know."_

"_And you have nothing to worry about as far as your job's concerned," Speed added confidently. "I've taught you everything you needed to get started. But what you've been able to accomplish so far… that's all you, Ryan. You've done that on your own… without any help from me, really. You should be proud of yourself!" his friend told him, a triumphant smile firmly in place. "You're holding your own, standing your ground where it counts, and that's all that matters."_

"_How can you say that?" Ryan now queried disbelievingly. "I've messed up so many times, it's ridiculous! It's a miracle Horatio hasn't fired me, that I still even have this job!" he countered self-deprecatingly._

"_Ryan, Ryan, Ryan…" Speed sighed, shaking his head. "Have I taught you nothing?" he now asked. "You have got to stop being so hard on yourself, man. Everyone makes mistakes, and you have got to learn to forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up all the time. Nobody's perfect."_

"_Yeah, no one except you," he retorted sarcastically, the words tumbling out before he could stop himself, and he immediately regretted saying it, wished he could take it back. Sighing heavily, Ryan apologized, "I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that."_

"_Don't worry about it. No harm done," Speed shrugged. "Believe me, I understand. And I'm sorry about the way the lab treated you when you first came on board."_

_Ryan shrugged, "It's not your fault."_

"_I know, but still… I never would've expected them to act that way towards you. And I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone."_

_Smiling weakly at the older man, Ryan replied, "Thanks. That's still no excuse for what I said, though."_

"_Didn't I just tell you to stop beating yourself up?" Speed now joked, and Ryan chuckled despite himself._

"_What can I say? I'm hard-headed."_

_Speed shrugged once again before hooking a playful arm around Ryan's neck and drawing him in so that they're walking side by side, "Meh… maybe more like a stubborn pain in the ass… _My_ ass!"_

_Looking affronted but laughing, nonetheless, Ryan parried back, "You're one to talk!"_

_They shared a good, hearty laugh before Speed sobered up again, wanting to address any last issues with his young friend._

"_Seriously, Ryan, you have nothing to worry about. You're a great CSI. And a damn good one, if I might say so myself!" Speed declared, a proud gleam in his eye. "And despite what people might've thought about you in the beginning, you're _not_ a replacement. You were never my replacement. You're a wonderful addition to the lab. And you're a loyal friend."_

_He watched as the smile slowly faded from Ryan's face at the mention of the team, and oddly enough, Speed wasn't really surprised to see his friend react that way. He knew how challenging it had been for the former patrol officer-turned-criminalist to find his place in the lab, how difficult it had been for him to fit in._

_Giving the younger man another gentle squeeze on his shoulder, Speed, once more, did his best to assuage Ryan's fears and insecurities about being part of the team – the team that he, himself, had come to consider as family._

"_Things have gotten better lately, haven't they?" he reminded. "So, trust me when I say that things are going to be even better from now on," he encouraged softly. "You've found your place in the team, Ryan. You don't have to keep proving that to anyone and everyone… or to yourself, for that matter."_

"_Then why does it feel like every mistake I make's magnified? Why do I still feel like I'm an outsider looking in?" Ryan whispered brokenly, his voice so small, so uncharacteristically insecure, so painfully uncertain, that it caught Speed off guard._

_Breathing out slowly, thoughtfully, Speed turned to face his sullen friend, cupping his head in the process and looking straight into wide, disheartened hazel eyes. _

"_Whether you believe it or not, you are part of the team, Ryan. And, therefore, you _are_ family," he reasoned. "You followed your dream, and now, you are right where you should always be, right where you belong. Don't ever doubt that."_

"_And the team?" Ryan now queried anxiously._

_Speed merely gave him a sly wink before letting him go to resume walking, not bothering to voice an answer to the younger man's query, Ryan turning to follow him not more than two steps later._

_Somehow, Ryan sensed that the former CSI had already taken care of his concerns… had taken care of all of them… of _him_ – of everything. It was just like Speed to leave no business unfinished; just like him to make sure that every major detail had been plotted out, carefully covered… even in death._

_There was quiet between them again as they walked unhurriedly together, before the scruffy man finally broke the comfortable but weighty silence, shepherding in that predestined and dreaded hour when the two friends would be separated for good, where even the gray between couldn't bring them together._

_Like a breath of haze, their peaceful surroundings vanished, only to be replaced by the clear, warm familiarity of another._

"_It's time, Ryan," Speed told him as he ushered him back to his bed, where his and Eric's sleeping forms were still cuddled together, like thick honey to a spoon, under the softness of the pale sheets. "Time to let go, old friend… Time to say good-bye for good."_

"_Speed…" the younger man called out in weak protest as he found himself unwillingly sitting down on the edge of the bed, hazel green eyes still looking up pleadingly at his dear, departing-yet-again friend. "Speed, I won't forg-"_

"_I know…" his friend cut in gently, hearteningly. "I know."_

_Wistfully, he looked over at the two bodies still lying on the bed… and he smiled, his face twisting up into a glorious beam of satisfaction, of knowing that he had finally succeeded in his once-unfinished promise to bring his two friends together._

_Ryan followed his gaze before returning his own to regard the other man curiously. It was strange to be looking down at his own earthly body sleeping right next to the Cuban, latent, untroubled… serene for the first time since his friend's untimely death._

"_Take care of Eric, will you?" he asked now, a gentle smile tugging on his lips. At Ryan's silent but uncertain nod, he added reassuringly, "Don't worry… he knows to take care of you, too."_

_Understanding twisted meekly on Ryan's lips at what Speed had implied, "Thank you…" he smiled gratefully, "…for everything."_

_The older man simply shrugged, "It's what friends do." With one last glance over the spooned couple, who were still sleeping soundly, Speed now met Ryan's dim and increasingly saddened eyes for the final time, "Go back to sleep, Ryan."_

"_Speed…" Ryan tried to cut in once more, even as he found his body involuntarily lying back down, molding into the shape of his earthly form, as if being made to comply by some unseen, soporific force.  
_

"_Remember me, Ryan," Speed reminded him softly for the last time, his voice like the fading whisper of a dying friend._

_He watched the former patrol officer attempt to fight with the ever-increasing spell of irresistible sleep to no avail, his eyelids drooping heavily, even as he tried to force it to stay open._

"_Speed…" Ryan whispered his name like a breath of liquid salvation to his lips… ephemeral – fleeting like his namesake. _

"_Remember me and then say good-bye," he added hurriedly, his voice dancing like an echo through the graying darkness of Ryan's eyelids, trying to get in his last few words before sleep could steal away the younger man completely. "Promise me you'll say good-bye."_

_Ryan nodded heavily, uttering a sleepy "I promise…" before breathing one last comforted sigh and falling back into the deep, dreamless slumber he and Eric had fallen into a mere few hours ago._

_And having heard Ryan's drowsy but resolute promise, the once-restless soul of a CSI slumped his tired shoulders and smiled, uttering a soft, final good-bye to his slumbering friends as he found himself suddenly enveloped and fading brilliantly into the soothing radiance of the hereafter._

---

Hours later…

-----

**TBC**

_**Feedback makes me terribly giddy. Make me terribly giddy, won't you? Please?**_

**A/N: **It's been a while, I know. Apologies for the long wait, but I hope this chapter found your appreciation as there's only one more chapter left to go, which I had to introduce as a sort of a cliffhanger again there at the end. But no worries, the last chapter is coming soon. So… what did you think? How was the dream sequence? Can you guys believe that this fic is almost over? I'm feeling incredibly reminiscent at the moment. holds back tears :(


	11. This Is How We Heal

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 11/12**

**Authors & Betas: **Shadowfax27 & Abendstern1601

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **We no own. You no sue us. Okay?

**Spoilers: **A bit of Season 3's 'Lost Son' but totally AU

**Summary: **The morning after Speed's last visit.

**A/N: **Once again, I apologize for the delay in updating this fic. It's almost over, can you believe it? Anyway, I asked Abendstern1601 to help me write the cuddling part a long time ago, and after numerous edits and cross-betas, this, finally, is the first finished product of our cooperative writing efforts. There's also a bit of a tie-in towards the end of this chapter with the fic's prequel, "Walking The Twisted Line." We hope you guys enjoy the fruits of our labor!

**WARNING: **_This is (m/m) SLASH! If you're foolish enough to disregard this warning and go on reading, then you have only yourself to blame. So don't go flaming me b/c the pairing's not to your liking, and you got yourself offended. No one's forcing anyone to read this. And any flames I get, I will simply use to make up heat-up lube and condoms for the Hardy Boys. You've been warned!_

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Chapter 11 – This Is How We Heal... 

"_Remember me, Ryan," Speed reminded him softly for the last time, his voice like the fading whisper of a dying friend._

_He watched the former patrol officer attempt to fight with the ever-increasing spell of irresistible sleep to no avail, his eyelids drooping heavily, even as he tried to force it to stay open._

"_Speed…" Ryan whispered his name like a breath of liquid salvation to his lips… ephemeral – fleeting like his namesake. _

"_Remember me and then say good-bye," he added hurriedly, his voice dancing like an echo through the graying darkness of Ryan's eyelids, trying to get in his last few words before sleep could steal away the younger man completely. "Promise me you'll say good-bye."_

_Ryan nodded heavily, uttering a sleepy "I promise…" before breathing one last comforted sigh and falling back into the deep, dreamless slumber he and Eric had fallen into a mere few hours ago._

_And having heard Ryan's drowsy but resolute promise, the once-restless soul of a CSI slumped his tired shoulders and smiled, uttering a soft, final good-bye to his slumbering friends as he found himself suddenly enveloped and fading brilliantly into the soothing radiance of the hereafter._

-----

Hours later…

Ryan woke up to the morning sun tickling his nose.

Slowly, the last whispers of his dream faded away as awareness steadily pulled him back into the waking world. Unlike all those times before, however, this morning, he didn't feel the need to cling to his dream, to hold on to a friend long lost and gone.

Arms tightening around his waist brought back the night before, and a name came to his mind like a soothing caress to his soul.

_Eric. _

Lying there, those strong arms holding him against the warm, firm chest in his back, Ryan felt oddly at peace. It was curious how, after all this time, the handsome Latino and he had finally found 'together,' evolving from competitive, sometimes hostile co-workers to… lovers.

Trust Speed and his relentless scheming to turn his life upside down even from the grave. Ryan smiled at the fond memories his thoughts had sparked.

Realizing that it was the first time since Speed's death that he was able to think about his friend without hurting, he snuggled even deeper into Eric's embrace, a bittersweet blend of emotions filling his now restless mind.

Silently, he thanked his friend for this new chance that had suddenly opened up before him. Ryan still missed him, yes, but he knew that he couldn't keep mourning forever, couldn't keep holding on to the bitter grief and despair of having lost a dear friend. Speed wouldn't have wanted him to do that anyway. Plus, he couldn't let his life pass him by any longer, and having Eric at his side, he realized, would make it that much easier to let go.

While Ryan was still taking stock of the events of last night, completely unaware of being watched by the man behind him, Eric was already wide awake. He, too, had sorted through his emotions and had come to a not entirely surprising conclusion: waking up with Ryan in his arms, his nose buried in the mop of dark hair, was the most amazing feeling.

All that hurt, all that anger that Speed's death had left behind and that he had so stubbornly clung to for so long were no longer existent. Already fading over the past two years and becoming even more distant these last few weeks, it was now washed away by the passion and love he had shared the night before with the man in his arms… leaving no remains.

And for the first time in a long while, Eric felt happy.

Without regrets, without remorse, without doubts, just… happy.

Complete.

It was a good feeling.

Sensing Ryan stir in his embrace, Eric loosened his grip around the other man's waist a bit, allowing Ryan to turn around before pulling him close again. They stared at each other for a long moment before Eric finally broke the comfortable but heavy silence.

"How are you feeling?"

Ryan actually took the time to consider the question. Then, slowly, he broke into a smile like nothing Eric had ever seen on him before.

"I feel fine," he replied softly, almost surprised, and for once, Eric believed him. "Amazing, actually. Sore… but amazing."

His smile was contagious, and Eric found himself answering in kind before he even noticed. Leaning in, he whispered against soft lips, "So, no regrets?" before placing a small, quick kiss on them without even giving his friend time to answer.

Ryan chuckled and brought his hand up to caress the side of his lover's face.

"Maybe one…"

Frowning slightly, Eric asked, "Which is?"

Placing another chaste kiss of his own on the Cuban's lips to reassure him, Ryan pulled back a little to better see Eric's face. His smile changed from sunny to slightly ironic as he answered, "Being too goddamn stubborn for my own good."

Eric had to laugh at that.

Drawing the younger man close again and tucking Ryan's head under his chin, he stated self-deprecatingly, "I think that's a fault that holds true for both of us."

They lay in silence again, Ryan contently snuggling into his lover's warm and comforting body, while Eric rubbed his back in slow, soothing circles.

There was one question the younger CSI couldn't get out of his head, however. And so, after a few minutes, Ryan began, "Eric, did you…"

"…dream?" the Cuban cut in to his surprise, knowingly completing the sentence.

There was a wistful, fond tone to his voice, and when Ryan pulled back to look at him, Eric had the gleam of good memories in his eyes.

"Yes, I did," Eric replied, a small smile tugging at his lips. "He really is one of a kind, isn't he?"

"Yeah…" Ryan agreed quietly. "Uhm, Eric?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?" he began carefully.

"Sure, babe, ask away."

Deciding to go for it, as curiosity finally got the better of him, Ryan took a deep breath before asking, "What exactly did Speed say to you?"

Eric's smile grew into an amused one, and he couldn't help the soft laughter that fled his mouth when he heard Ryan's question.

"What?" Ryan asked, perplexed.

"Nothing," Eric replied, still laughing softly as he shook his head.

"Really?" Ryan countered, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. "Then why are you laughing?"

Settling down finally, Eric answered, "Because Speed was right."

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked, even more puzzled than before. "Speed was right about what?"

"You," came Eric's cryptic reply.

"O-kaaay…" Ryan muttered slowly, still not getting what Eric was saying. "I'm not sure I follow, Eric."

Sensing the younger man's confusion and growing frustration at being kept in the dark, Eric placated him by nuzzling his nose against his before planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Nice try, Eric," Ryan teased, amused despite himself. "What? You think that just because you kissed me that I'd shut up about it? You know I can't do that, right?"

"I know," Eric conceded, smiling. "But I had to try."

"Why?" Ryan asked again. "What did Speed tell you?"

Sighing in resignation, Eric replied, "You really want to know?"

He watched as the younger man disentangled himself slightly from his embrace, propping an elbow on top of the pillow, before leaning the side of his head against his palm. The adorable eagerness with which Ryan had shifted to that pose caused the smile on Eric's face to split into an amused grin.

"Tell me," Ryan prodded attentively, and it took all of Eric's self-control not to jump Ryan once more.

"Alright…" Eric began, still grinning like the Cheshire cat. "I laughed because Speed just knew you were going to ask me what we'd talked about, and well… he was right."

"What can I say?" Ryan teased. "I can't help it."

"Uh-huh…" Eric teased back. "Sure you can't."

Not one to be derailed by banter, however, Ryan chuckled but kept pressing, "So, what else did he say?"

"Well, he told me that if you ask, that I should tell you to quit worrying your head over it and to trust him to take care of everything," Eric answered as concisely as he could.

Having heard the Cuban's reply, Ryan fell silent as he tuned the spoken words over in his head, his mind reflecting back on Speed's promise. It was obvious to him that Speed didn't want him to worry anymore and that whatever he had talked about with Eric, well… that needed to remain strictly between the two friends.

But just in case there was more, Ryan prompted, "Was there anything else, then?"

Shaking his head with a smile, Eric reassured him, "No… That was pretty much it," he answered, pausing briefly before deciding to tell Ryan the rest. "Although… he did threaten to come back and hunt me down with a pitchfork if I didn't keep my promise," he revealed finally, giving Ryan a mischievous wink.

"And what promise would that be?" Ryan dared to ask, amused now as his voice dropped to a seductive tone.

A wicked smile twisted on Eric's lips, and he took the time to gaze and marvel at his lover's beautiful hazel green eyes before responding in a low, husky voice.

"That's for me to fulfill… and for you to simply enjoy, mi amor."

Grinning at the Cuban's answer and the adorably lopsided smirk on his face, Ryan laughed softly before leaning down to indulge Eric with a soft yet searing press of lips on lips, finding himself now slightly on top of the older man, kissing him fervently into the plush pillows of his bed.

When they finally separated to catch their breaths, it was Ryan's turn to nuzzle Eric's nose, dropping a tender kiss on his forehead, before lying back down again. They lapsed into a short silence once more, each listening to the steady breathing of the man in front of him, each watching the rhythmic rise and fall of the other man's chest.

It was a soothing quiet filled with memories, realizations, and new beginnings.

It was nice…

Comforting.

But it didn't last too long.

This time, Eric's amused chuckles put an end to it.

"What's so funny?" the younger man asked curiously, turning confused eyes on his friend.

"Us," the Cuban replied, still chuckling. At Ryan's questioning look, he elaborated, "I was just thinking… Do you know what Speed would say if he could see us now?"

Snorting in amusement, Ryan dryly answered, "He'd say we were idiots for not listening to him any sooner."

"Exactly."

Snuggling into Eric's embrace again, Ryan turned serious.

"I still miss him, you know?" he told his lover in a quiet voice.

The other man tightened his embrace as the last remnant of a doleful sigh fled from him, finally releasing him of the weight that had been burdening his chest for so long, aching to be let go…but not forgotten. He knew the feeling only too well.

"You'll always miss him, Ryan. I will too," came Eric's emphatic reply. "But it'll get easier."

"How do you know that?" he asked, still with that same quiet voice, as if needing further reassurance.

The Cuban sighed thoughtfully, dropping a lingering kiss on top of Ryan's temple before answering, "Because we'll go through this together…" he trailed off, as if figuring out how to frame the latter half of his response.

"We?" Ryan cut in, shifting to regard the older man curiously.

Looking down into those magnificent hazel greens that seemed to sparkle with renewed vivacity, hope, Eric nodded slowly, a perceptive smile teasing on his full lips.

"I'm here with you now, Ryan. We'll always miss Speed, yes. We'll grieve and we'll mourn, but we'll also move on… and we'll do it together," he reassured confidently. "You and me…"

"…together," Ryan finished.

"_Together_," Eric confirmed readily as he hugged the smaller man to himself again, pressing their still-warm bodies fully, tangling their legs once more under the silky sheets, as he ran a gentle hand along the handsome and straight curves of his lover. "I'm not going anywhere, Ryan… Not without you," he added.

He nuzzled Ryan's ears with his nose to reassure him, hearing the younger man's breath quicken as he dropped light kisses along his jaw line and on his cheek before continuing.

"I won't ever let you walk _that_ twisted line alone again," he breathed with confident certainty into Ryan's ear, remembering the irony of the younger man's secret and silent struggles when he had first confronted him in his home several weeks ago. "I promise."

Sighing contentedly into the Cuban's neck, Ryan closed his eyes heavily and for the first time since Speed's untimely death, allowed himself to be comforted like never before, willingly choosing to trust Eric to keep his promise, and casting off any reservations he'd had about the older man since he'd fortuitously discovered his secret.

They lay there for what seemed like only a brief eternity, each reveling in the feel of the other's body, each taking pleasure in the sensual and straight curves of his lover, each keenly aware of the other's breathing, of the other's rhythmic heartbeat.

As if sensing the vanishing remains of one last lingering thought, Eric now asked, "Penny for your thoughts, babe?"

Ryan smiled lazily, amazed at how quickly he and Eric had already become so in-tune with each other in the short amount of time they've spent 'together.' He could no longer deny the fact that he really liked this brand new feeling of being in a relationship, of belonging to someone, specifically to _Eric_, of being marvelously close – _beautifully intimate_.

"Yeah…" he replied, sighing.

Eric listened in silence, waiting to see if the younger man would elaborate on his short response. But when no answer came, he pulled back slightly, his fawn-like gaze catching Ryan's fascinated ones.

And he smiled a lopsided, heart-melting smile…

"Wanna tell me what it is? Or should I offer another penny?" he asked jokingly, smirking this time in an effort to keep the mood light.

Ryan chuckled heartily, "No, no… No need for more pennies."

"You sure about that?" Eric continued in jest. "'Cause I could dig around in my pockets; see if I got anymore," he smirked, feigning to look around for his pants, which he knew were lying in a discarded pool somewhere on the floor, even as he didn't ease his hold on the younger man.

This time, Ryan laughed, "I'm sure."

Settling his head back onto the pillow, Eric pressed, "So, what is it, then?" coaxing him with a small kiss to the temple before running blithe fingers to smooth away a stray hair from his brow. "What's that gorgeous head of yours thinking about?"

He watched as a glimmer of remembrance twinkled across Ryan's telling eyes, watched as that fading wisp of a memory flitted across the younger man's face, boyish and blushing adorably. And suddenly, Eric, himself, knew…

"There's one last thing I need to do…"

-----

**TBC **

**_These bad, bad Penguins need a good spanking for leaving you with another cliffhanger, don't you think? _**

**_So, be my guest… Leave your feedback, and spank a Plot Penguin!_**

**A/N:** Aargh!! I had a feeling this was going to happen…again! Damn the Penguins and their complicated plots! This was supposed to be the last chapter, but what was supposed to be a short Epilogue at the end of this chapter has… surprise, surprise! Now evolved into its own chapter once again. Meh… It's the Penguins' damn fault, I tell you! --grumbles-- So there you have it… there will actually be _one more_ chapter left to close out this fic – an Epilogue, if you will. And I promise that it's the _last_ chapter this time. --chases evil Penguins with a pitchfork while muttering--


	12. From Twisted Lines To Straight Curves

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 12/13**

**Author & Beta: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but these nefarious Plot Penguins.

**Spoilers: **A bit of Season 3's 'Lost Son' but totally AU, so please indulge my creative liberties.

**Summary: **Ryan had one last unfinished business.

**WARNING: **This is SLASH, as in Male/Male relationship!! If this makes you uncomfortable, then don't read this. Don't go flaming me if you're foolish enough to disregard this warning and got yourself offended. All flames will be used to make heat-up lube and condoms for the Hardy Boys. You've been warned!

**A/N: **Lyrics taken from Gerri Halliwell's "Mi Chico Latino." I tried to tie this chapter in a bit with its prequel, "Walking The Twisted Line." I won't spoiler this anymore, as you'll see what I mean soon. This is a bittersweet chapter, btw. I was tearing up as I was writing it.

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Chapter 12 – From Twisted Lines To Straight Curves

_Now there's fire in my eyes  
I'll break away and say goodbye  
_

---

_Settling his head back onto the pillow, Eric pressed, "So, what is it, then?" coaxing him with a small kiss to the temple before running blithe fingers to smooth away a stray hair from his brow. "What's that gorgeous head of yours thinking about?"_

_He watched as a glimmer of remembrance twinkled across Ryan's telling eyes, watched as that fading wisp of a memory flitted across the younger man's face, boyish and blushing adorably. And suddenly, Eric, himself, knew…_

"_There's one last thing I need to do…"_

---

Two hours later…

"Did you ever say good-bye, Eric?" Ryan whispered so softly, Eric almost didn't hear it were it not for the billowy wisp of cool morning breeze that carried the words, quiet yet heavy-laden, to his ears.

They were standing side by side now in an open field, nearly similar in its features to the one that Speed had last taken Ryan to in his sleep: lush green grass still covered the landscape beneath their feet; the early-rising sun peered through canopies of leaves, still-slanted rays piercing the ground in a tapestry of yellowish-white cylinders.

Everything was the same except… It wasn't.

Not really.

Strategically placed marble or granite stones now interrupted the verdant carpet they had treaded on in perfectly symmetrical sequence. Flowers of every variety, some in full bloom, others now wilted, could be seen every now and then dotting the neatly kept meadow. A tall iron gate stood guard in the far distance beyond a series of rolling hills. And towering trees declared their unassuming presence along the grassy green, casting shadows of condolences to those who weep with heavy hearts.

Turning to regard the younger man thoughtfully, Eric slowly nodded, "Yeah… I did… It took me a while, but… I finally did."

"When?" Ryan asked, swallowing hard, his mouth feeling very dry all of a sudden, his heart feeling like it would beat out of his chest.

Sighing heavily in thought, Eric replied, "Not long after Natalia and I had cooled off… Not long before I found out about you and Speed."

"Was it hard, Eric?" he asked now, searching the Cuban's eyes for answers. "Was it hard to say good-bye?"

"I can't say it was easy, Ryan," Eric replied, phrasing the words as delicately as he could put it. "But I knew he was there when I did it. I knew he was listening to every word I said… and that made it easier somehow."

It was Ryan's turn to nod this time, a small, sad smile of understanding lining his lips before it was replaced all at once by a worried frown.

"I should've done this sooner, you know?" Ryan admitted suddenly, a slight edge darkening his voice as if he was almost berating himself. "I shouldn't have tried to hold onto him. I should've just let him go. But I was too selfish and couldn't do it and…" he stopped abruptly, eyes welling with unwanted tears.

Eric was immediately in front of him, holding him close, a hand cradling the back of his head against a broad shoulder, the other circling the younger man's trembling form tightly against his steady frame, stilling him all at once.

"Shhh…" Eric whispered soothingly, planting a tender kiss against his temple. "You're not selfish, Ryan," he told him reassuringly. "We all wanted Speed back. And I'm sure _everyone_ who cared about him had a hard time letting him go."

"But I'm not 'anyone' who really mattered, Eric," Ryan protested in between stifled sobs. "I'm nowhere near as significant as his family… or his friends," he countered. "Why couldn't I let him go like I was supposed to? Why couldn't I move on? Why couldn't I let him rest?"

"Don't say that, Ryan," Eric chastised him gently, peering into glassy eyes now. "You mattered greatly to Speed, don't you see?" Eric reasoned, trying to placate the younger man. "It's obvious that you and Speed were good friends. Otherwise, don't you think Speed wouldn't have bothered to come back time and time again just to make sure you'd be alright? Just to make sure you're going to make it?"

Ryan didn't respond to that, and Eric drew him in for another hug, letting his hand run soothing circles across the younger man's back. They stood like that for a few minutes until Eric felt Ryan pulling away, the younger man brushing the tears gone with his cuffs, with the backs of his hands. Reluctantly, he released Ryan from his embrace but not before he held him by his shoulders at arms length, giving him a curious look.

"Can I ask you something?" Eric began.

Ryan nodded mutely, sniffling as he continued to wipe at his face.

"How long has it been since the last time you were here?"

A short, weighted silence followed before the former patrol officer-turned-criminalist gave his response.

"A while," was Ryan's concise, embarrassed answer, barely able to meet the Cuban's eyes.

Not one to be easily deterred by vague responses, Eric nodded but then pressed for more specifics, "How long has it _really_ been, Ryan? When was the last time you stopped by?"

Unable to stand Eric's questioning gaze any longer, Ryan tore his eyes away, looking down at the ground all of a sudden as his hands started to fidget anxiously.

"I, uhm…" he began timidly, his voice almost cracking, unsure as to how the Cuban would react when he finds out the truth. Swallowing hard, he dared to meet Eric's searching stare once more, "It was about two years ago," he answered, voice wavering thickly, even though he tried his best to steady it.

And Eric could see that he was struggling. He could see how vigorously the CSI was trying to not choke on the words.

"The last time I was here, they…" he paused, swallowing back the tears, "…they were burying Speed. I couldn't… I didn't… I…" he stopped once more, his chest heaving with a force as he clenched his fists and shut his eyes, trying not to relive the all-too tragic memories.

Cupping his face this time, Eric closed the distance between them and hugged the trembling man to himself.

"Shhh… It's okay, Ryan… it's okay," he cooed. "I know it's hard, baby. I'm sorry for being pushy."

Steadying himself with a deep breath, Ryan replied, "No. It's okay, Eric. I need to tell someone… I've kept this long enough."

"Ryan, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"But I want to, Eric," Ryan replied, hands coming up to rest on top of Eric's wrists. "I need to let this go… and I need you to listen," he replied, giving the Cuban an imploring look.

With a nod, Eric agreed, "Okay… I'm listening."

Securing himself with another calming breath, Ryan explained, "They were burying Speed the last time I was here," he began thickly. "And I… I left as soon as I could after the service, not long after I'd offered my condolences to Speed's parents," he confessed, eyes watching Eric's reaction closely. "I couldn't bring myself to stay behind, you know? I didn't have the nerve to wait 'til the end… to watch as they lowered Speed's casket to the ground. I just couldn't…" he trailed off again, shaking his head at the memories.

"Go on, Ryan…" Eric encouraged gently.

"I couldn't bring myself to stay, Eric," Ryan admitted brokenly. "I couldn't bring myself to watch as they put Speed into the ground. It was just too much, you know?" he sniffled, looking up into Eric's eyes as if to plead for understanding.

The Cuban nodded mutely in sympathy but didn't dare interrupt. He knew full well how difficult it had been to watch Speed's casket get lowered into the cold, impersonal earth, six feet under.

"And maybe I _was_ still in denial at the time, but I was afraid that if I'd stayed 'til the end that it would make Speed's death all the more real. That watching them cover him with dirt would only validate that he's really dead, that he's really gone… and that he's never coming back," Ryan continued, hot tears now spilling down his face again despite his restraint. "And I just couldn't handle that, you know?"

"Ryan…" Eric tried to cut in, but the CSI inadvertently cut him off as he continued with his confession.

"I wasn't ready to accept that he's dead, Eric," Ryan admitted. "I wasn't prepared to let him go. And so, I bolted out of there like a coward and never once looked back," he explained. "I never came back," he whispered, voice wavering as he tried not to sob.

"You're _not_ a coward, Ryan," Eric countered reassuringly. "It was difficult on all of us to accept that Speed's really gone. No one would fault you for not staying behind. It wasn't an easy thing to stick around and watch as they lay your friend to rest six feet under," Eric reasoned as delicately as he could.

"I know…" Ryan sniffled.

"Besides, the important thing is that you're here now. It took some time, Ryan, but you're here… you finally came back," Eric pointed out. "And that's all that matters now."

"I know that, Eric. It's just that… I wish I'd come back to visit a lot earlier, you know? I wish I hadn't stayed away like I did. Maybe then I would've been able to break away a lot sooner. Maybe then it would've been easier to let him go."

"Hey…" Eric reprimanded kindly, cupping Ryan's head this time in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Don't go there, Ryan. 'To each his own,' okay? You _needed_ that time away to come to this point, and that's perfectly alright. You can't tell me that Speed minded visiting you all those times. I'm sure he missed you too."

Wiping his tear tracks away with the pads of his thumbs, Eric planted a placating kiss on top of Ryan's head before resting his forehead against the shorter man's. Closing their eyes in unison, both men stood that way for a while, letting their breaths even out to a steady rhythm, each allowing himself to find calm and solace against the other's warmth and heartbeat.

Overhead, the cheerful singsong of birds could be heard in tandem with the distant raking of fallen leaves. The morning sun continued its inevitable ascent, and a mild breeze cooled the warming surroundings to a comfortable temperature.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eric finally asked, breaking his hold of the younger man after a while. "You sure you're ready to say good-bye?"

With another deep breath and a thoughtful nod, Ryan replied, "Yeah… I want to do this, Eric. I _need_ to do this. I can't say I'm absolutely ready, but… I think I'm ready enough," he answered, smiling faintly up at the Cuban. "I've put this off for far too long," he reminded. "It's high time I give this the closure it needs. I owe Speed that much."

"Alright," Eric smiled approvingly. "Want me to come along?"

A grateful smile tugged on Ryan's lips at the generous offer, but he shook his head, saying, "Thanks, but no… I'm pretty sure I need to do this on my own."

"Whatever you need, babe," Eric replied, winking as he returned the smile. "I'll wait for you right here, okay?"

"Okay," Ryan replied, nodding once more.

With one last reassuring hug, Eric dropped a gentle peck on his lover's lips, giving him a brief, meaningful look before letting him go completely. He watched as the younger man quickly bent down to pick up the two items he had previously set on the ground next to their feet when they had first arrived, and he took a couple of steps to the side to let him pass, noticing with hidden concern how Ryan was trudging slowly but purposefully towards his intended mark – the gravesite where their friend, Timothy Speedle, was laid to rest.

Reaching the site finally, Ryan closed his eyes and hung his head low, allowing a few seconds of airy silence to pass by before drawing in a heavy breath and opening his eyes, looking down and reading for the first time the simple inscription carved on his friend's headstone:

Timothy Speedle

1973 - 2004

"Beloved and Lost Son"

"Oh, Speed…" Ryan found himself uttering faintly, leaden tears filling his eyes to the brim, threatening to spill over once more.

He shook his head rapidly, fighting to blink back the burning swell, even as his mind involuntarily recalled the tragic turn of events that had lead to his beloved friend's untimely demise.

"I'm so sorry it's taken me until now to come here," he began in earnest. "I'm sorry for being such a coward, for staying away as long as I did… Some friend I was, huh?" he asked, chuckling dimly at the irony.

Sinking carefully to his knees, he picked up the first of the two items he'd taken with him to the gravesite: a simple but lovely spring bouquet filled with an assortment of buds, some in mid-bloom, some just beginning to blossom.

His hands began to work automatically, removing the floral arrangement from its blue and white paper wrapping before folding and stuffing the now-empty parchment back into the pocket of his jeans. And having done that, he set about depositing the flowers neatly, reverently, inside the empty vase sitting in front of the white headstone.

"God, I miss you so much!" the words spilled out of him in a hurried hush before he could sit back on his heels. "Even now, I'm still wishing that this isn't real. That I'd wake up one day, and you'd be here laughing and telling me that I was crazy for thinking you were dead. That you were too busy to die, and that you still had the rest of your life to live," he carried on, smiling at the imagined scene playing before his mind's eye.

Around him, a gust of wind blew past as if to snatch away the happy but improbable wishful thinking. And all at once, the gloom of reality had set in once again, the smile, fleeting and wistful, disappearing from his face, only to be replaced by a dismal sigh.

"But we both know that that's not the case, don't we?" he stated more than asked. "No matter how hard I wish it, you're still gone, Speed… and you're not coming back."

With a heavy hand, Ryan reached up to brush away a stray piece of dried leaf that had landed on top of the headstone, before letting his hands run numbly along the engraved channels of each lettering, fingers tracing lightly, painstakingly, as if he were carving out the inscription himself.

"I wish I was just telling you good-bye, as in 'See you later, Speed,' like I'd done so many times in the past, but I know that's not what this is," he continued, voice quivering as he spoke in a hushed tone. "Because it's finally come to this, hasn't it? It's time I let you go, as you said, old friend… It's time for me to say good-bye."

On his face, a lone tear now dribbled down his cheek, unnoticed as he sat back on his heels once more, fingers now mapping out the cool earth underneath, the single tear falling and kissing the ground like fresh dew on a leaf's first spring morning – a sign of a brand new beginning.

"You won't have to worry about me anymore," Ryan stated, as if to reassure himself more than anything. "Because you're right… I've finally found my way again. You kept telling me that I would. You believed that I would, and… I did. Finally, I did," he added.

Memories flooded his mind once more of the countless times the older man had told him that he wouldn't be lost for long, and he shook his head at how obstinate he'd been, brushing off Speed's assurances and stubbornly denying what his friend believed would one day come true.

"You've given me the confident assurance I needed to be free from all the fears that had bogged me down, all the insecurities that had plagued me for the past two years. You've freed me up to let you go, Speed," he said, a small, momentary smile tugging on his lips before his expression turned somber again. "You've freed me up to say good-bye.

He closed his eyes and breathed in, shutting out the rest of his surroundings as he imagined his scruffy friend kneeling right in front of him, watching him, observing… listening as he recited with difficulty his farewell.

"Thanks for everything, Speed," Ryan uttered softly after a while. "Thanks for looking out for me."

This time, he felt an unusually warm breeze pass by, almost encircling him. And keeping his eyes shut, he lifted his head to the sky, soaking in the strange but familiar sense of comfort he had, by now, come to know so well – a feeling he could only describe as being in the heartening presence of his mentor and good friend.

"I won't forget you, Speed," Ryan promised, his voice breaking at last, choking at the finality of the words. "And our friendship's not over just because our journey ends here, right?" he stated more than asked. "No… I'll always remember and cherish our friendship. What we had won't ever be over and done," he paused once more, whispering the heartfelt words he'd avoided saying until now, "'Cause it _isn't_ over, Speed… It's never over when it's just good-bye."

Opening his eyes finally, Ryan picked up the second item he'd taken with him, setting the small picture frame he'd once kept sitting on top of his mantle gently against the marble headstone – proof that he was finally willing to let his friend go.

Of course, the irony of the photograph wasn't lost on Ryan or Speed – the event that had been captured on it was the first time he'd ever set foot on the manicured grounds of Dade Memorial Cemetery, dressed in his color guard uniform and armed with a blank-shot rifle that would announce with a thunderous bang to the world and everyone present that Timothy Speedle was dead.

Only… he'd run away the first chance he got, too afraid to face the harshness of reality, of grief overpowering, too distressed to want to taste the bitter heartache of losing a close friend.

And today… well, today was the first time he'd ever come back to visit where Speed's body lay. Today marked the first time in two years that he could actually bid his friend good-bye, bringing healing and overdue closure to a once-gaping wound, and fulfilling his last promise at length to the ghost of his old friend.

"Good-bye, Timothy Speedle," Ryan said at long last, his voice surprisingly steady despite the heavy ache in his chest. "Rest in peace, my good friend. I'll see you again... someday," he said, halting briefly once more as he considered what he was saying. "Yeah… Someday… But _not yet_."

He smiled then, feeling as if the heaviness that had been weighing him down for the past two years had finally been lifted off his tired shoulders. He stood up finally, slowly… wiping away any traces of tears from his face, before taking the time to brush the dirt from his knees.

When he was done, he turned around at last and walked back to where he had left Eric, the Cuban meeting him halfway, capturing him in a warm, consoling embrace, before releasing him to cup his face again.

"Was it difficult?" It was Eric's turn to ask this time, searching the younger man's eyes for answers. "Was it hard to say good-bye?"

Smiling generously for the first time since Speed's death, Ryan replied, "I can't say it was easy, Eric," he began in all mock seriousness, causing Eric's face to split into a lopsided smirk as he caught on to what Ryan was saying. "But I knew he was there when I did it. I knew he was listening to every word I said… and that made it easier somehow," he answered verbatim.

They shared a brief chuckle before Eric moved in to press their lips softly together. Their kiss was neither long nor short, neither hungry nor blasé, but it was chaste and tender and everything that two bereaved men needed to attest to their shared mourning over a mutual friend's death, their shared healing of wounds long dressed and redressed, and their shared hope for a new beginning as they look into their future together in light of the shadows of the past.

Breaking apart finally, Eric dropped one last kiss onto Ryan's forehead before wrapping a reassuring arm around his shoulder. And turning to leave at last, they trudged along together, heads bowed down in contemplative silence, each marveling at the extraordinary turn of events, at how vastly different things were now from what they used to be back then…

Back when Speed was still alive and the curves that they'd been traveling on were straight, and things were so simple and so uncomplicated and so easy to see.

But then in the blink of an eye, everything changed. Speed died. And all at once, that straight and simple curve had transformed into an agonizingly twisted line – one that Ryan Wolfe had had to travel in pained silence and secreted grief… _alone_. And Eric hadn't known any better about the younger man's friendship with Speed.

But now, things were different once again. And that same twisted line had now been redrawn by ghostly fingers, fashioned out of loss over a friend's untimely death and gain over finding love overdue, orchestrated from beyond the grave to become the straight curve it had once been.

Except this time… Ryan knew that he need not walk alone anymore. He might not have Speed there to guide him along the way, but he had Eric in his life now. Speed had made sure of that.

Eric, whom he had become fast friends with all of a sudden.

Eric, who had already staked a claim to his heart long before either of them had the nerve to give voice to their feelings.

Eric, who was now walking alongside him, holding his hand, twining their fingers together, keeping him close as only a lover would do.

"Eric…" Ryan nearly gasped, unsure of what to think as he froze suddenly in his tracks…

-----

**TBC**

_**The Penguins wanted to know if anyone guessed correctly what Ryan's unfinished business was before reading this chapter.**_

_**So… Did you?**_

**A/N: **Aaargh!! You know what? Don't listen to me anymore. That's right. Just… ignore my promises for last chapters and bringing this story to a close. That was quite wicked where I'd left it off, wasn't it? Just dropped it and left it hanging there, huh? Well, I'm really sorry… I should've known better than to give name to the number of chapters this story would have, especially when the penguins responsible have a mind of their own. So… shall we dare say, 'one more chapter and that would be the end of it' again? No more promises this time. Let's just wait and see how the penguins behave, eh?


	13. Epilogue: Unexpected Castles

**Title: When Curves Were Straight 13/13**

**Author & Beta: **Shadowfax27

**Fandom: **CSI: Miami

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **PG

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but these nefarious Plot Penguins.

**Spoilers: **A bit of Season 3's 'Lost Son' and 'Hell Night' but totally AU, so please indulge my creative liberties.

**Summary: **What did Ryan see that made him freeze in his tracks?

**A/N: **Well, wahey! Will you look at that? It _is _the _last chapter_! Lyricstaken from Gerri Halliwell's "Mi Chico Latino." I tried to tie this last chapter in a bit with its prequel, "Walking The Twisted Line." I won't spoiler this anymore, as you'll see what I mean soon. Read on, and enjoy!

-----

Chapter 14 – Epilogue: Unexpected Castles

_I'm free to be, I'm letting go  
I'll find my way so…_

---

_But now, things were different once again. And that same twisted line had now been redrawn by ghostly fingers, fashioned out of loss over a friend's untimely death and gain over finding love overdue, orchestrated from beyond the grave to become the straight curve it had once been._

_Except this time… Ryan knew that he need not walk alone anymore. He might not have Speed there to guide him along the way, but he had Eric in his life now. Speed had made sure of that._

_Eric, whom he had become fast friends with all of a sudden._

_Eric, who had already staked a claim to his heart long before either of them had the nerve to give voice to their feelings._

_Eric, who was now walking alongside him, holding his hand, twining their fingers together, keeping him close as only a lover would do._

"_Eric…" Ryan nearly gasped, unsure of what to think as he froze suddenly in his tracks…_

---

Lifting his head more fully, Ryan's surprised gaze landed on three people he'd least expected to see, all walking towards them, a smile gracing each one of their usually solemn faces.

"Eric…" Ryan started again. "What…?"

Sensing trepidation and anxiety in his voice, the Cuban squeezed his hand quickly, turning his head to look at the younger man next to him.

"It's okay, Ryan," Eric assuaged gently, giving him a comforting smile. "They already know."

Somehow, Ryan discerned Eric's statement as two-fold: first, that they (as in Alexx and Calleigh) _already knew_ about his once-secret friendship with Speed, and second, that both women and Horatio _already knew_ about his now-budding relationship with Eric.

And judging from the looks on their faces, Ryan perceived that he probably had nothing to worry about regarding their acceptance of the former and that they had supportively approved of the latter.

Reaching the couple finally, Alexx was the first one to reach over and wrap her arms securely around Ryan, embracing him with a fierceness only a mother reserved for her children. And laying aside his apprehensions for once, Ryan allowed himself to be enveloped tightly, his body slumping tiredly against Alexx, grateful for once that he no longer had to worry about hiding such a cumbersome secret… at least not to the people who mattered.

No words were exchanged between them as each clung tightly to the other. Only the quiet sniffling, as long-restrained tears pooled in their eyes and rolled down their faces unfettered, could be heard in the heavy stillness around them.

Alexx cupped his face in her palms when she'd finally let him go, brushing the salty stains away with the pads of her thumbs, a proud twinkle in her eyes mixing with an embarrassed, apologetic look for having treated him with cold indifference the first time they'd met and the first time he had to work with her at a crime scene two years ago, where an infamous athlete had been murdered…

_Ryan: Knife missing from this block could be our murder weapon. _

_Alexx: (sarcastically) Nice work, Ryan. Think you may have cracked the case. _

_Ryan: Thanks, I…have a keen grasp for the obvious. Look… I know you and Tim Speedle were close. I know this was Speedle's case. I'm not trying to replace him. _

_Alexx: (still coldly) Good. 'Cause I don't need any new friends. _

_Ryan: All I want is to do a good job. _

_Alexx: Okay. Tell me what you see._

…and not knowing any better that _he _was the 'new friend' that Speed wanted her to meet and eventually 'mother' too.

_Sensing her still-apparent distress and her maternal urge to care for others, Speed thought that this might just be the prime moment to bring up the topic of his 'new' and secret friend._

"_Hey, Alexx?" he began carefully._

"_Hmmm?"_

"_How would you like to have another friend who could use some, uh… mothering?" Speed queried teasingly._

_Alexx stopped what she was doing to give Speed a questioning frown, "What do you mean, Timmy?"_

"_I'm just saying that you're the type of person who cares a lot about people, and I know someone who could use a person like you in their life," Speed explained evasively._

_Suspiciously, Alexx asked, "Now, Timmy… What do you have up your sleeve?"_

_But Speed merely smirked, "Nothing! I just thought you could use a new friend, you know? A new 'baby,' if you will, to take care of."_

"_Why would I need a new friend when I've got you?" Alexx now asked, confused. "Besides, I already have Horatio, Calleigh, Eric, and some of the lab techs as friends, so why would I need someone new?" As if realizing her question all of a sudden, Alexx stared at Speed for a moment, her hands firmly settling on her hips, "Wait a minute… You're not planning on leaving us, are you, Timmy?"_

"_No, Alexx… of course not!" Speed only laughed. "I'm not planning to leave you or anybody at all. Really, you have nothing to worry about. Believe me, I'm not going anywhere," he said, pacifying her. "Knowing you and how good you are to me, I just thought that you could do the same with my new friend, who, by the way, is in desperate need of mothering," he explained, trying to butter her up. "Plus, we could all use another friend around here, a fresh face if you will," he added, smirking yet again._

"_We?" Alexx asked, raising a curious eyebrow at him._

"_Yes, 'we,' as in all of us… including H, Cal, and Eric," Speed clarified._

_Alexx shook her head and turned her attention back to her autopsy, "I don't know, Timmy. I'm still not convinced."_

_At this, Speed sided up next to her, put his arm around her shoulders, and gave her a light squeeze, "Come on, Alexx," he coaxed gently. "Just give him a chance, will you?"_

"_So, it's a him, is it?" she teased, trying to hold down her own smirk this time._

"_Yes, Alexx, he's a young guy, and I'm sure you'll love him," Speed encouraged, adding, "Besides, you could always use another person to 'baby' around here."_

_Sighing in resignation, Alexx answered, "Alright, Timmy… fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt to have another friend. So, when do I meet this new friend of yours?"_

"_Ah! That, my dear coroner, is something that I'm currently working on," Speed answered evasively. "You'll meet him when everyone else does, but yeah… if everything goes according to my plan, then you'll meet him soon enough, and you'll love him too," he winked teasingly. "I promise."_

Ryan merely smiled, his lips twisting up in meek understanding, as if to tell Alexx that he could never harbor any hard feelings for something she didn't know.

There was no real harm done…

So, there was nothing to _forgive_.

She had barely released Ryan when without warning, Calleigh tackled him with a fierce hug of her own, her face already wet with tears. And Ryan found himself in the unexpected position of being the one to offer comfort once more… and empathy for their shared loss.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner," Calleigh whispered, sniffling. "I never even considered that you might've known Speed, that you might've been one of his friends," she explained. "I was so busy trying to deal with my own grief that I didn't realize you were grieving and hurting too… and no one really knew."

"It's okay, Cal. No one knew because I _wanted_ it that way," Ryan told her softly. "It was always meant to be a secret after Speed died. That's why I've never faulted you for not knowing," he reassured her, smiling faintly when she pulled away to look into his still-glassy eyes.

Still sniffling, Calleigh returned the watery smile and said, "I understand now that you were always meant to be a CSI. You were always meant to be part of the team, Ryan, to be a part of this family. Speed knew that too… and I know he's really proud of you."

Calleigh hugged him once more before releasing him and stepping aside for the red head to have his turn with their youngest criminalist.

Nodding to his boss as he approached, Ryan greeted him first, "Horatio."

"Ryan," the Lieutenant greeted him, nodding back. "I had a rather unexpected visit…" he paused for effect before adding, "…from an old friend."

A diminutive, almost imperceptible smile graced the Lieutenant's face, and Ryan sensed that something must've transpired amongst all of them the previous night, something wonderfully supernatural, something Ryan's anxiously trying to figure out right now.

"I see…" he replied, nodding slowly, uncertainly. "But how did you…?" he started to ask how they knew he'd be there that morning but trailed off in an instant when a sliver of last night's encounter sparked a flashback in his mind…

_Giving the younger man another gentle squeeze on his shoulder, Speed, once more, did his best to assuage Ryan's fears and insecurities about being part of the team – the team that he, himself, had come to consider as family._

"_Things have gotten better lately, haven't they?" he reminded. "So, trust me when I say that things are going to be even better from now on," he encouraged softly. "You've found your place in the team, Ryan. You don't have to keep proving that to anyone and everyone… or to yourself, for that matter."_

"_Then why does it feel like every mistake I make's magnified? Why do I still feel like I'm an outsider looking in?" Ryan whispered brokenly, his voice so small, so uncharacteristically insecure, so painfully uncertain, that it caught Speed off guard._

_Breathing out slowly, thoughtfully, Speed turned to face his sullen friend, cupping his head in the process and looking straight into wide, disheartened hazel eyes. _

"_Whether you believe it or not, you are part of the team, Ryan. And, therefore, you _are_ family," he reasoned. "You followed your dream, and now, you are right where you should always be, right where you belong. Don't ever doubt that."_

"_And the team?" Ryan now queried anxiously._

_Speed merely gave him a sly wink before letting him go to resume walking, not bothering to voice an answer to the younger man's query, Ryan turning to follow him not more than two steps later._

_Somehow, Ryan sensed that the former CSI had already taken care of his concerns… had taken care of all of them… of _him_ – of everything. It was just like Speed to leave no business unfinished; just like him to make sure that every major detail had been plotted out, carefully covered… even in death._

And suddenly, Ryan understood…

The three watched with interest as realization dawned transparently in the young CSI's eyes. And when he finally met their gazes again, they nodded their heads to affirm in silence that Speed had indeed kept his word to him, visiting his colleagues even in their sleep, and confirming to them finally (at least to Alexx and Calleigh) the truth about their veiled friendship.

Smiling faintly at the three, Ryan knowingly stated more than asked, "Speed told you I'd be here, didn't he?"

"That, he did," Horatio answered, confirming with a smile what Ryan, himself, already knew.

Turning on their heels at last, the five of them started making their way back to the large entrance gates that guarded the cemetery, twisting their way around the line of headstones surrounding Timothy Speedle's gravesite and walking straight down the curvy path that hugged the sequence of rolling hills towards their exit.

And in the vanishing distance, a once-restless soul watched proudly as the team he had always called his family had finally come together to become a unified _one_:

Horatio, always their suited and fearless leader, walking just a few paces ahead of the pack, sunglasses firmly on his aging but smiling face.

Alexx, the family's mother hen, and Calleigh, a woman who looked out for them like an older, protective sister, walking on either side of the two men, a hand around each of their backs as they trodded along the greens together, Alexx on Ryan's and Calleigh on Eric's, flanking them protectively as they made their way through the quiet field, ready to defend them and their relationship to the rest of the world, even as their hands assured them that they also had their backs.

Eric, standing tall and walking closely, protectively right next to Ryan, their hands joined together in ever-deepening friendship, their fingers entwined perfectly, fiercely, the way two equally intense and fiery lovers share a profound love and sincere respect for each other.

And Ryan, walking confidently for the first time since joining the team, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was right where he belonged: next to Eric, holding his lover's hand securely; between the two women, whom he'd come to consider as mother and sister; and right behind the redheaded man, who knew about his secret all along but respectfully chose to honor his wishes by keeping his knowledge of the young man's relationship with Speed a secret, and who treated Ryan fairly from the very beginning, like a son, even, protecting him when he made serious mistakes that got him into trouble at times and urging him on in the direction he should go.

They were just climbing up the gentle slope of the next hill when Ryan felt a distinct urge to look over his shoulder one last time. He stopped in his tracks abruptly and turned now to look back towards the direction of Speed's place of rest, his eyes landing immediately on something… some_one_ familiar.

Next to them, the two women wordlessly continued trodding along the wavy course towards the entrance, sensing somehow that Ryan (and Eric) needed to fall behind.

Because in the rising expanse between the peaks of the two rolling hills, Ryan caught a glimpse of a lone figure with short, dark hair, ethereal and almost wraithlike in form, standing by the gravesite he'd just visited, wearing that unmistakably scruffy smile on his face, and nodding hearteningly at the young criminalist.

And Ryan _knew_…

He knew it was _him_.

"_Good-bye, Ryan Wolfe,"_ he heard Speed's voice resonate in his head, whispery soft and almost dying, even as he watched him wave almost invisibly in the distance. _"I'll see you again sometime, old friend…"_ the fast-fading voice said, pausing before adding, _"Someday… but _not yet,_"_ as if to echo the very same words Ryan had spoken earlier when he was reciting his absolute farewell.

And with that, Speed smiled for the last time and waved to Ryan his final good-bye.

"What is it, Ryan?" Eric now asked, halting in turn when he saw his lover stop in his tracks to turn and look back, turning slightly, himself, to look in the direction where Ryan's gaze was drawn.

He saw nothing.

And turning a questioning gaze back towards the younger man, Eric studied his boyish face, that almost-faraway look in his eyes.

"You alright?"

Meeting Eric's stare finally, Ryan shook his head and replied, "No, it's… It's nothing…. I'm alright… I think."

The Cuban watched as a slight frown appeared on the younger man's face, as if he's truly taking the time to consider whether he really was okay. Ryan's eyes were still trained upon the Cuban's, but the older man could see that he wasn't really seeing him. Sensing his lover's uncertainties yet again, Eric gave Ryan's hand another gentle squeeze, which seemed to promptly snap him back to reality as recognition breathed into his eyes once more.

"You sure you're okay, babe?" Eric asked once more, still giving him that same curious stare.

And this time, Ryan slowly returned his gaze with a full-fledged smile, the most genuine, face-splittingly radiant smile Eric had ever seen.

"I'm alright, Eric," Ryan replied at length, and the certainty in his voice was contagious, more tangible than it had ever been. "I'm good," he added, nodding more assuredly this time, as if he was finally believing his own words for once. "Yeah… I'm good."

And with that, Ryan turned on his heels once more, resuming their walk back towards the tall iron gates, Eric bequeathing him with a smile of understanding as he fell into step with his partner, both eventually falling behind the two women who were previously flanking them, knowing that with each step his lover took, that he was finally breaking away, breaking free, and, in perfect peace with himself, saying good-bye.

In the fading distance behind the five, a solitary soul bowed his head wearily, breathing in an awesome sigh of relief, of quiet fulfillment at what he was finally able to accomplish since his premature death, before vanishing into the dazzling brilliance of his overdue rest.

Overhead, the ascending sun peeked high through the clouds for the first time that morning, the beam seemingly shining down radiantly upon the small group of people, highlighting them from their surroundings as they walked their way through death and grief, through trials and unexpected castles that had become their friendships, and through revelations and realizations… _together_, as a team and as a _family_.

And glancing up into the bright, clearing sky, Horatio mused out loud, as if to address Eric and Ryan in particular.

"The sun's out, gentlemen," he noted, as if speaking of the sun's optimistic foreshadowing of their lives, of their future together as a family, the smile in his voice unmistakable. "The sun's out, and it's gonna be... a _good_ day."

Hearing the red head utter those words, the rest of the team glanced up briefly towards the sun, their faces smiling as they caught the Lieutenant's unspoken undertones, knowing that things were going to be different from now on; that things were going to be _better _and stronger between all of them moving forward.

And Ryan smiled even more because he believed for the first time what was being tacitly implied, knowing that their beloved friend was looking down on them from the heavens, watching over them with joy-filled eyes because he had at long last fulfilled what he'd promised long ago before his death.

_"You're not sending Eric on a wild goose chase, are you?" she asked him seriously..._

_"Alexx, you have nothing to worry about," Speed reassured her without answering her question directly. "Eric's date has become one of my very good friends and is someone whom I trust entirely. Trust me when I say that Eric will be with the best company he'd ever been with tonight and that I have a very good feeling about this."_

_Taking in the sincerity in Speed's eyes, Alexx finally relented, "Okay, Speed. Let's just hope it works."_

_And Speed merely smiled as a promised thought came to mind, 'It'll work. I'll make it work… even if it's the last thing I do.'_

Without a doubt, Speed had finally completed what he wanted and needed to accomplish in the lives of his two dearest and once-stubbornly blind friends.

And for the first time in a long time, the patrol officer-turned-CSI felt amazingly untroubled, felt utterly free – felt _wholly_ found.

Because…

Ryan Wolfe had finally found… _home_.

-----

**THE END**

_**Hear that? That would be the Plot Penguins' (and mine's!) collective sighs over finishing this fic. Finally! **__**They deserve some yummy feedback, ehrr... I mean, some fish for accomplishing as much, don't you think?**_

_**Come on… you know you want to feed them.**_

**A/N: **There were quite a few flashbacks in this chapter, but I hope that tied everything together. And what do you know? The penguins actually delivered this story to a close. After months of hard work, this fic is officially over. I'm elated and a bit sad at the same time. I feel like a mother letting go of her oldest child. I hope you guys have enjoyed this story and its prequel as much as I've enjoyed writing and 'agonizing' over it. A 'HUGE THANK YOU!!' to everyone who read this, especially to those who added this story as a fave and who took the time to offer wonderful feedback! You guys have kept me motivated to finish this. I had no idea there were so many Hardy Boys fans out there!

**ETA: **I do not own the script for the "Hell Night" dialogue between Alexx and Ryan. Credit for this S3 episode dialogue belongs to the talented writers of CSI: Miami.

_**Be looking for my SMUT-tastically Naughty Penguin Series to be posted (on my homepage only) in the very near future. I've got a sinfully delicious Eric/Ryan fic coming soon!** _


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